Love is Kind

You’d think that being kind would be easy; it’s not that hard to look up and just smile at a person, or ask them how their doing, right? Why is it, that people now-a-days can’t hold open a door for the person behind them or pick up something the person beside you dropped? Does anyone really know what it is to be kind anymore? Are you kind?

So what does it really mean to be kind? Using modern day technology, Dictionary.Com gives five definitions of what it is to be kind.

1. Of a friendly, generous, or warm-hearted nature.
2. Showing sympathy or understanding; charitable: a kind word.
3. Humane; considerate: kind to animals.
4. Forbearing; tolerant: Our neighbor was very kind about the window we broke.
5. Generous; liberal: kind words of praise.

For the past several days this question has been haunting me. Most of my adult life, I have been accused of being cold, grumpy, unhappy, speaking to people in a “tone;” and… I think I’m going to stop there just so I can keep what’s left of my ego. I never thought what they were saying was really true, but apparently my face was.

My place of employment was were I got most of the slack from. People would go into the HR manager and tell them that I wasn’t very nice and that they felt uncomfortable with me. This became old after the fifth time being called into Karen’s office. I thought that people were out to get me! What did I do so wrong for them to pick me out? I can sit here and name a hand full of people that don’t act very kind. There are even some that won’t even look at you when you’re talking to them. So what was it about me that they felt the need to complain to HR about?

As I really think about it now, I kind of have to laugh; they were right, I would walk through work with my head down, not smiling, and pretty much keeping to myself. In my mind, I was there for work and work alone. I didn’t come to work to socialize or befriend anyone, but the problem with that was I contradicted myself.

I was, and still am best friends and sister-in-law with the owner’s daughters. It dawned on me, and I think it was even mentioned during a situation at work, that the only reason people cared so much about how I treat them is because I was technically part of the “in” crowd, which in this case was being part of the Witmer family. For goodness sakes, I even called them mom and dad! Now, people wouldn’t just complain about me… trust me, my sister-in-law must have been called into HR about 30 times before she graduated college and went off to bigger and better ART things! It was even a running joke in the family that Katie would be called into Karen’s office in the morning.

All these employees ever wanted, was to be liked by the influential people in the company. I expected these people to be kind to me, when I wouldn't even try to be kind to them. If I was an outsider looking in, it would be hard to believe I was even a Christian. At least that's how I see it now. In no way was I being kind, and in no way was I being loving, so how could they ever see Christ in me?

Living in the world we do today, we seem to only worry about ourselves and what is going on in our own lives. We tend to walk with our heads down and not notice the person next you us. It our heads we are the priority not that poor guy on the corner, who obviously did something wrong to end up there. Come on, being kind is not that hard! And trust me, I’m telling myself that. I would have to say, the kindest person I know would have to be my soon to be sister in law, Tara. I think if Jesus was here in the flesh he would show the kind if kindness that Tara shows others. She is so in love with God and so filled with him that all she can do is be kind to others. My prayer is that someday I can be in that place where God is so vibrant in my life that all I can do is show kindness to others, and each day is a new one to try.

Love is Patient

Most of us are familiar with Corinthians 13: 4-7, love is patient, love is kind; but have you ever really looked at this verse? If you have, then you are way ahead of most people living in the United States, and I think you should write a book; because I am convinced that most people (even Christians) don’t know what it is to really love, and when I say people, I’m also including myself. Yes, it’s a good verse to read at a wedding, and maybe a good way to talk to your children about loving their siblings, but do we fully understand what Paul was trying to say here?

I thought I knew what this verse was about; for goodness sake, it was the verse God gave me when I knew that he was telling me that Jesse was my husband and vic-versa. I knew this verse was explaining the meaning of love, and what it is to love. But until now, that verse was only mere words on a page. A good friend challenged me to really take a deeper look into what each word and what they really meant, taking it one step at a time to uncover what love really is and what it is to really love.

Love is Patient – My most recent friend, the Wikipedia, explains patience to be the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset, or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties.

Dude, wait a minute… I totally didn’t sign up for this! First off, why would love need to endure waiting? And secondly, when I’m faced with difficulties I’m more likely to craw into bed and never come out, then face them calmly and with maturity. In my young married mind, love is patient meant that I had to wait till I was 21 to get married and that Jesse had to be patient with me. As I read that back to myself, I want someone to hit me in the head like that V8 commercial. (Bonk) But I guess that’s what you think when you’re looking at love selfishly and one-sided.

Obviously, patience is not one of my gifts, but I find myself asking for more of it lately. And by grace, He is giving it. Who better to give it, right? God will wait, and wait, and wait for us to come to him and be with him. He’s willing to wait without being annoyed and he is willing to walk through difficult times. He’s willing to hold our hearts when others have smashed it. He is willing to just sit with you and love on you even though you haven’t had the time for him. God is so patience; God is Love.

So, if I am to truly love I will sit and wait for the Lord to do his thing. Even though I want things to happen quickly and for my life to be fixed I have to be patient with the one I love. I must not let thing upset me because my battle is not against flesh. I have to be strong and keep calm when I feel like everything is crashing in on me because God will see me through. By being patient, I am loving, and by loving I’m allowing God to move.

Isaiah 54: 4 - 6

"Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

For the Maker is your husband
the Lord Almighty is his name
The Holy On of Israel is your redeemer;
He is called the God of all the earth.

The Lord will call you back
as if you were a wifedeserted and distressed in spirt
a wife who married young
only to be rejected." says your God.

...you are

Music

I could tell you that my world is Crashing Into Me, and how I feel like a Satellite just floating up in space. That Life is Ironic and no matter what you think You Learn from each moment. Or how I Want To Be Moved because I’m just Someone Searching for more. Then I remember He’s Always Been So Faithful and feel Compelled to move closer to Him. I feel like He is telling me to Hold On and Don’t Walk Away. That He is going to Make Me Over into Something Beautiful.

Music has the ability to trigger a memory in seconds. For example, what song comes to mind when you think about your first school dance, or your first boyfriend? For me, music plays such an important role in my life. Not only does it define moments in my life, it helped me through life.

Let me take you back…

Middle school was not the best time of my life. I had weird teeth, my mom had no idea how to dress me, so I wore high waters and boe-boe’s to school. I thought it would be cool to perm my hair, but it just made me look like I stuck my finger in an electrical socket. What music got me through? Alanis Morissette, Jagged Little Pill 1994-1996. I know, not something I’m going to want to tell my daughter one day, but this music did get me through middle school.

High school was going to be a new life for me. I got my braces off; I learned how to do my hair. Still didn’t figure the whole make up thing out until after HS, but met some awesome new people. But the biggest thing of all was that I got a HOT Christian boyfriend!!!!! Don’t you know, having a boyfriend in high school is a must, at least in my head it was! Of course, High school is filled with way too much drama; so what music got me through? First thing that comes to mind is the Titanic sound track, since that was the first movie I ever saw with Jesse. Then there was Everclear, Everlast, Five for Fighting, Goo Goo Dolls, No Doubt, but most of all Dave Mattews Band and David Gray. Each one can define a moment in my life like no other.

COLLEGE… I had hopes and dreams, I had fun with new people, and I had heart break. This was a time in my life I really needed God, and one of the first times I ever really started to thirst for more of Him. Ginny Owens’ Without Condition and Sara Groves’ Converations, gave me a whole new outlook on Gods love. For the three years I was in and out of college those two wonderful ladies are all I can remember blasting through my stereo to and from school.

Now a days, I stick to my XM Christian radio. There are just too many amazing artist to list them all. The two that have recently impacted my life are Bethany Dillon and Natalie Grant. I feel like their music was written just for me and for this time in my life. Through them, God is speaking directly to my heart. Isn’t that amazing how you can feel so connected to our savior through music? I think it’s one of the best gift’s God could have ever given us!