Jayden Loves Dandelions

And thinks it's pretty funny! :)

Show Where You Live Friday's - Jayden's Room

So my sister egged me on to do this week’s “Show Us Where You Live Friday” that was started by Kelly. This week is nurseries and I just LOVE Jayden’s nursery. I had the vision… but my very wonderful and talented sis did most of the work. Here is where my little man calls home…



































































The lovely painting and Jayden's name spelled out was done by my sister as well. I think she should decorate nurseries for a living! It's just beautiful... Love you, Kate!!

Cellular Composition

A photograph can say so many things without saying a word. You don't need a top-notch camera or fancy equipment. (Though it is very nice) You don't need crazy editing software or sweet editing skillz. (Though that is a plus) In fact, all you really need is something that you can shoot the picture with and a good eye!

So this week as I was pondering how I could challenge myself more as a photographer, I started to play with my cell phone's camera. Could I really get some good photos from this 3.2 megapixel Sony Ericsson? Would it be good enough to keep the picture raw and be published unedited? There are very few pictures that I DON'T edit with my "fancy" camera, could this really be done?

It will take some time to get just the right picture... but heck yes I could; It's all about composition anyway! With this idea rolling through my head for the past few days, I kept my eye out for anything that would look awesome through my tiny 4" cell phone. Which brings me to today post and NEW "My Cellular Composition" postings; Why not?!?!?!

So.... Dun Dun da da da

My Cellular Composition

Not WOW... enough?
Yea.. well, I'm still working on it!
I liked the "angles" on this one.
Till next time...

Composition: The act of composing the image in the viewfinder, is a visual process of organizing the elements and individual details of a scene into a balanced and pleasing arrangement. Because what one person finds pleasing, someone else will not, composition is largely a matter of personal taste.

Silent Sunday's - Shhhh, Just Listen

Jon and Kate

This Jon and Kate “crisis” has gotten the best of me. I have never in my life gotten so emotional about a celebrity scandal! I mean, it was pretty terrible when Brad and Jennifer broke up, but I didn’t feel so drawn in by it or emotional sadness because of it. My heart is literally breaking for them! I find myself getting emotional when I read something about it or when I talk about it with my sister. I don’t even know these people, other than what I have watched on TV. What is my deal?!?!

After talking it over with Kate and her affirming that I wasn’t crazy; I started taking this emotion to the Lord and asking what He wanted me to do with this burden. I realized more and more why this burden was on me and that God had been nudging me to pray hard for their marriage. Their marriage and family have come under attack and they need more prayer than ever before. Not only is this family in the public eye, they have claimed to be born-again Christians on National television. In my opinion… the enemy wants to take them out and take them out FAST! (I could go on forever about that subject and Christian marriages, but I’ll leave that for another blog post)

I also feel the burden has been stronger in a way for me because of similar circumstances that happened not so long ago to my family. It reminds me of pain and hurt I felt. It was hard enough then, I could never imagine going through it on national television. My heart breaks at the demise of a covenant that once meant so much. Remembering all too well, how easy it is to get to that place where both Jon and Kate are now. I want nothing more than to be given the opportunity to not judge them, but explain to them how important their covenant truly is. I would love to say….

Jon… Kate, your marriage is worth saving! Show America that they’re wrong and that your covenant is important; not only to you, but to God. Show them how a loving and faithful GOD can not only restore a marriage, but restore families, and bring new LIFE to something that was so close to death. Show them that the God you serve is worth being glorified as he teaches you how to heal your marriage and how to be a better wife and better husband to one another. Don’t believe the lies that have been told and don’t let all you’ve worked for destroy the family you love and prayed so hard for! Speak out to the heavens that your marriage is WORTH IT and your covenant is sacred!!! Please, don't give up. God can take what has been broken and if you just give him the chance he WILL restore that covenant again. Not only do I have faith that He can do that, I'm a testimony to it! Mark 10:9 says: “What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." Are you going to let our culture and the media destroy your heavenly covenant?

You have a battle ahead of you and I know that you are both capable of coming out of this in victory. At times it will be hard and you won’t want to try anymore; but I encourage you to seek God daily, be on your face before God and be in the Word constantly. Surround yourself with worship 24/7, pray with your kids and have them start praying for the destiny of your family as a whole. (That means Mommy, Daddy, and 8 beautiful children.) Don’t let our culture get the best of you. Don’t become one of those couples that let a “when times get hard, get the hell out of there” mentality set in. You’re only running from the blessings God has promised you.

Think of the TESTIMONY you have and will have! Think about how you will be able to speak into so many Christian marriages and non-Christian marriages, telling them that you guys did it even in the craziness of the media spot light; even when everyone said you wouldn’t make it. Show them that you’re not just another Hollywood statistic; not just another Hollywood marriage flop! I can only wish that I had more of an opportunity to share my testimony with others, sharing the amazing forgiveness and unfailing love of the Father.

So as you can see, along with praying for Jon and Kate’s marriage daily, I have also been compelled to write a letter to them. It might sound crazy and pointless to a few, but in the letter I shared my heart and my testimony. I don’t expect anything from it. But I do believe that my God can make anything happen! So who knows, if they never have a chance to read it… I got it off my chest and if they do come across it, all I can say is that I hope it makes them think and in some way they will be blessed by it.

It’s all in your hands now, God!

The Ralston Shoot

Why I had so much trouble with the editing of this shoot is beyond me!
Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong!
But I'm please to say I finally finished it.

The Ralston's are such a neat family and the love they have for one another is precious!
See just a little of that in some of the finished work here!

Not Me! Monday - Why the Heck Not!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! There's no better way to let go of things from last week, than to jump on the band-wagon and do a Not Me! Monday. I got this from my BFF, which was created by MckMama. Have fun with it!!

On Saturday, I did not watch the Disney channel all day. I did not watch the new Disney Channel shows that were on that evening; such as Jonas Brothers, Sonny with a Chance and Hannah Montana. I also did not watch the new Disney Channel Movie "Hatching Pete." I did not... I repeat, I did not buy the new Hannah Montana CD.

I did not make Chili the other night and complete fail at it.

I did not go to a baby shower that I was asked to take pictures at and then feel complete stupid when they told me I didn't need to take pictures anymore because her professional brother was coming to take them. I did not feel stupid not knowing more than two people there. And I was most defiantly not disappointed that Rhiana and sis-in-love didn't come. ;)

I did not go to the super market and forget to take all the coupons I clipped from a week ago, so that I could save money!!

I am not frustrated with some things and situations at work, and I’m not too chicken-poo to go talk to someone about them.

I did not take the time out from working this afternoon to think about Not Me, Monday's.

Silent Sunday's

Another Soccer Season

It’s another soccer season for Jesse and this year all his games are at 7 instead of 10pm! This makes it a heck of a lot easier for me to watch him play and Jayden gets to come and watch his daddy play.

I bring my camera along, but I find myself taking more pictures of Jayden then daddy playing soccer. :) Here are a few from last Thursday!

The Way to a Wife's Heart

God has a way of speaking to a husband’s heart when the wife is having a bad day.

For me, Friday was a hard day. I was crying off and on constantly and just couldn't get myself back up on my feet. Jesse was working late and before he came home he checked my FB status and saw that I was sad and decided that he would bring home good old DQ Blizzards. My favorite! Not only did he surprise me with ice cream, but early that day when he was taking a shower he took our son's foam letters and wrote a message for me on our bathroom wall saying "I THINK YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL." And that was done before he knew my FB status! Boy, did my spirit change! I felt loved, affirmed, and it made me feel so good to know that my husband was thinking about me. I was so blessed!

Ice cream and bathroom messages... that's the way to a wife's heart, alright!











God always knows what you'll need and when you'll need it most. I like to think that God instilled that "provision" gene into most men/husbands. What an amazing character trait for your husband to have. Thank you love, for making my night! You blessed me more than you'll ever know.

xoxoxo

Mother's day - He Had Me At ... "For My Wife"

Friday wasn't a particularly good day for me. We were headed into Mother's Day weekend and my heart and emotions just went crazy thinking about the pain from last year. I think that for most moms, Mother’s Day weekend is an anticipated "holiday" they look forward to. To me, it only reminded me of my husband moving out and how I suddenly became a single parent overnight.

I know what most of you are thinking... "Be thankful for what you have now" or "The past is the past, let it be." But that really is so much easier said then done! I see your point, I really do. I too want to forget and move on and stop constantly remembering the hurtful things in my life. At times I have thought that I was going crazy because of these certain triggers that would just put me in such a funk that I would be depressed for an entire weekend. But as I looked more into why I reacted to these triggers and why I just couldn't forget them, I learned that most women are just like me!

I found this very interesting study that USA Today did on women's emotional memory. It talks about how women have a tendency to remember things emotionally better than men. Not that you have to go through what Jess and I went through, but the article says that women will remember a marital spat when a husband will have no recollection of it.

My husband and I have also been reading “Love and Respect” by Dr. Emerson. He says that women are wired to remember dates because it's in our nature. (For some reason I'm blanking on the chapter this was in, but it is there!) I'm beginning to think that I'm not going crazy and that this is all just going to take some time. It makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one out there...

Don't get me wrong, I was looking forward to Mothers Day. The problem was that my heart wasn't really in the right place. My whole thinking for the weekend wasn't about who I am as a mom. I was more concerned with whether or not my husband was going to make up for last year or was he going to fail, yet again? Which in a way was already setting him up to fail, because my expectations were set way too high and there was no way for him (in my mind) to make up for last year.

I ended up having a wonderful Mother’s Day's. In my book, he made up for it. And to be honest... the thing that did it for me wasn't the trip to the zoo (though it was VERY awesome) or the brunch at his parents, but it was the card that he put so much THOUGHT into. He blessed me! I finally felt that my husband was affirming me as a mother and the words he said were so incredibly sweet.

All in all, I had a great Mother’s Day!
I hope all you mothers out there had the same!

See mom... I do eat!

Jayden eating at Kim's today ... He eats so well at Kim's! Why won't he eat like that for me!!

Finding My Narnia

My good friend Steph has inspired me to be a writer like no other. We met through a mutual friend and since then have had a crazy connection that God knew we both needed. Our passions coincide and we seem to always understand each others random thoughts. Since there are three states separating us, we communicate through our love of writing. And boy does she have a way with words! She is such an inspiring woman and truly an amazing person.

In her last email to me she described her new life adventure as “walking into Narnia.” I was floored. It really gave me a whole new perspective and boy did I want to keep reading. When I wrote her back I chose to keep with the theme and tell her about my Narnia. I wanted to share with her that recently I feel that my wardrobe has only been filled with old fur coats. Here is a bit of what I shared with her…

As for my Narnia, I had thought I walked through the wardrobe last year when the whole thing with Jess and I happened. But I have recently noticed that every time I walk into that wardrobe all I find is dirty fur coats. I feel myself slowly turning back into the person I never wanted to be again; a person that is petty and so very selfish. I weaken myself to get assurance, but only hurt myself in the process. I know who I am now so why am I acting like I have no idea who this person is? I guess I’m still trying to figure it out. I’m tired of the same-old stuff. I know there are bigger things out there for me and my family.

I know that there is only one way to get back into Narnia and I know all too well what that will take. The biggest of these is giving all of me - exposing my broken heart and allowing not just my heavenly daddy to come in, but allowing my husband to redeem his place back in my heart. I need to start looking at myself, and deal with all the heart issue that must be worked through to get back into that land where I feel so free. But the hesitation and fear still remain. Will my heart be broken again? At times, I’m scared to even open the doors to the wardrobe because I fear that those fur coats hanging so neatly might start to bleed.

I have a huge need for more fellowship time with my Christian sisters (like you). Not that it’s anyone’s fault but my own, but I feel like at times I withdraw when all I want and/or NEED is some good old fashion “girl time.” You know? I feel like everyone is moving on in their lives and I’m stuck trying to find the key to escape the white witches prison, or worse… turn my cold-stone body back to living, breathing flesh! I don’t know, maybe that’s just my abandonment issue speaking… but I still can’t help but feel a terrible need for my fellow sisters’ companionship.

I know what I need to do to get back into Narnia. I always have known. But this new perspective made me realize something I had never thought about. After writing this, I realized that my Narnia was never complete last year even though I felt so happy then. I was forced to go there, but without my other half. I feel even more compelled to get back to the place where I once felt free, but this time I want nothing more than to be with my husband. There I know I will be truly happy because that is what God intended it to be.

xoxoxox

8

I was tagged by Katie

8 Things I look forward to:
1. Getting over Bronchitis
2. Family Va-ca in the Outer Banks
3. Mothers Day
3. Getting my basement carpeted
4. Working just ONE job
5. Summer full of photo shoots
6. Eating s’mores on my patio
7. Becoming an aunt
8. Writing more

8 Things I did yesterday:
1. Jayden Let me sleep till 8 (Whoo-hoo!)
2. Cleaned the house
3. Watched Sponge Bob with Jayden
4. Took a three hour nap!
5. Went grocery shopping
6. Made dinner
7. Wrote in my blog
8. Went to bed at 9pm!

8 things I wish I could do:
1. Be a full time mommy
2. Get a new home and live on the same street as friends
3. Travel Europe
4. Not worry about depression
5. Erase last year (not really, but really… only some parts)
6. Write a book with Kesh!
7. Take my kids to Disney World
8. Be SUPERMOM!

8 shows I watch:
1. LOST
2. The Office
3. Heroes
4. BattleStar Galactica
5. Law and Order, SVU
6. CSI
7. Fringe
8. Parks and Recreation

Copy and Paste and put your answers on your blog:
1. Kasey
2. Rhiana
3. Steph
4. Casey

10 Things I Swore I’d Never Do

These are 10 things I said I’d never do when I had Children…

1. My child will not affect my life in anyway
2. My child will never go out of the house without their hair perfect
3. I will cook every meal and have we’ll have family dinner every night
4. My children will not stay in their PJ’s all day, they will be dressed
5. My children will eat all organic foods, that I make
6. My children will not have sugar before the age of 2
7. My children will not have soda before the age of 5
8. I will not put my child on a leash
9. I will not be late because of my child
10. MY child will NOT have me wrapped around their finger in any way

Lesson: Never say never!!!