Kylie Joy Turns One!

Ha-ha, another “Wit” event covered! No thanks to me though! No one asked me to take pictures so I didn’t bring my camera. Luckily my sis-in-love had me covered since she brought her fantastic camera with her!

Kesh out did herself, yet again! What a party planner… guess who I went to when I wanted to plan Jayden’s first birthday! ;) I got some great shots of this beautiful out door celebration! The weather was perfect and everyone had a blast. Words really can’t describe how great this party really was… let my picture show you!

Honest Scrap - Blog Award!

I just LOVE bloggie awards! It reminds me that people actually care about what I’m writing about and that I’m not just sitting out here in blog world stagnant and boring. :p So thank you all for reading and keeping up with me; you all have been an amazing bunch of encouragement and support and I love you all for it!! So thank you all for reading and keeping up with me; you all have been an amazing bunch of encouragement and support and I love you all for it!!

Last week the beautiful R. Wallis at “TrueBeauty…Inside and Out” awarded me with the Honest Scrap award!!! Woo-hoo! If you have never seen her blog, head over there and check her out! She is a great girl, full of great ideas! Thanks again for this, love!

I pass this award on to (drum roll, please)
Jennifer at The LaJeunesse Family
Alicia at Just Another Day In My Paradise
Morgan at A Buggie Full of Beans
Jenna at A Slow Change
Katie (my Sis) at Loves of Life

The four I’m going to pass this award on to is listed above. I chose them because I never gave them an award before and I really like reading their blogs! I am giving a fifth one to my sis-in-love because… well, it’s my blog and I can do what I want to!!!! Go check these guys out because they are a really awesome bunch of bloggers and I know you’ll like’um!

To accept this award, along with passing it on to four other people; I must also list 10 things about myself that you all may not know. (This is going to be hard since a bunch of you know me REALLY well and because I’m pretty darn honest in my blog) Ok… so here goes…

1. I couldn’t say my own name when I was little so I called myself Eawee. My siblings couldn’t say my name either so all of them except for Declan called me Eawee as well. Declan… he called me wee-wee. Yep!



2. I have been a picky eater since I can remember. (I blame my parents) If you can believe it… I didn’t try Chinese food until I was 16 and seafood until I was 18. I was convinced that both were disgusting. I WAS SO WRONG!



3. I have known my husband since I was 8; when we were in jr. high youth group together I told my youth leader that he was gross and to keep him away from me. I was totally repulsed! My mom and youth leader called it then that he would be my husband. What do 12 years olds know anyway!?!?! ;)



4. I don’t really sing when I’m around people and some people question if I can even keep a note (MY HUSBAND). But in eighth grade I was one of three out of 125 who was selected to sing in district chorus! Ok… well it was a big deal back in 1996!!



5. I take after my father and am an extreme introvert! I LOVE being a lone, but there are times that I need to be with people. I don’t have many friends, but the ones I do have are pretty much family or related to family!!! I have a very close sisterhood with my girlfriends, and I think that’s all I really need!



6. In middle school I played lacrosse and did cheerleading. In high school, I gave up cheerleading and tried to dedicate all my time to lacrosse. What sucked is that I didn’t even become good at lacrosse until my junior year! God… I still love that sport, though!



7. Before I got married in 2003 I had a breast reduction. My BFF joined me on that adventure and we had the procedure done the same day. (oh, I hope you don’t get mad at me for sharing that, babe) I went from a DD to a C, it was one of the best things I've done and wouldn’t change it for the world! At that time I was a runner… now I can hardly walk up the road to my mom’s. I should really start running again!



8. I want to redo my vows with Jesse! Just a few close family a friends and a celebration of how far we’ve come and our commitment to the future! Who knows if it will happen, but it’s a hope of mine.



9. The time after having Jayden was a super hard time for me. I felt like a failure as a mom because I had a C-section and didn’t give vaginal birth. I was also unable to breast feed him. I denied having post-partum and waited way too long to get help for it. I’m scared to have another because of these feelings.



10. I want to write a book! I want to help other couples that have been through the same thing my husband and I have been through and want to be able to share our testimony with the world. I guess we’ll see…

Yep… that’s it! Hope that was all new an interesting to most of you; if not…sorry! If you want to know more, you are more than welcome to ask me anything and I’ll be happy to answer it. I love being open!!! If you have questions that you don’t want to comment about and just want to email me, you can do that too. My email address is lyacoe at gmail dot com.

Have a great week guys!!!

Silent Sunday's and a Thank You

Today is silent Sunday, so I won’t be saying much; but I did want to thank everyone for the amazing comments I got on my last post. My heart was to only show people that God is so awesome and that if you want something (like a marriage) to last and be fruitful, it takes hard work and that it’s possible to get through anything. I hope that it has encouraged people to fight more for what the enemy wants to take away. :)

I’m sure there will be many more times I will write about this, but for now I need to unpack from my business trip from Baltimore and spent some QUALITY time with my little man that I missed so much! I missed both my men terribly, but Jesse works today so it’s just me a Jayden!!!

So with that being said I will leave you with a Silent Sunday photo of me from my time in Baltimore! My BFF took this of me while eating at Flemings; this is their chocolate lava cake! OH my word, it’s so good!!!!


Hope you all had a great week and I can’t wait to catch up on all your blogs!!!

One Year of Healing

The past few days have been tough for me. I have so many memories of things I would rather forget, and uncertainties I would much rather trust to God. Though this year has brought great strides in my marriage; the enemy still knows just how to get to me and play on each fear that holds me captive. Lies of the past still creep their way back into my mind, but thankfully each day they come less than the day before.

It’s no secret that my husband and I have been through some hard times in our marriage and that the enemy has brought a great battle to destroy this amazing covenant we have. This journey that God has allowed us to walk through has been far from easy, and there is still so much more to uncover. But through God and His abundant grace and mercy He is teaching us to forgive and fall in love all over again. For me, I have found myself falling more madly and deeply in love with a man (who I thought I already knew) even more intimately than I ever did before.

Some people may know our story; but most only know the hearsay of what happened. With permission from my husband, I can tell you just a little piece of our story. I don’t tell you this to show how terrible my life has been or how unfair is the hand that I’ve been dealt, I tell you this to share with you how amazing GOD is and how faithful He is to every promise He has put on our life.

I also want you to see that no matter how tough your life can get, or how uncertain your marriage can be, your marriage is worth fighting for! Though our culture today doesn’t make marriage look too promising and that it might be easier to just throw in the towel or upgrade to something else, you must understand that God HATES divorce and there is something special about what your marriage holds and what your marriage symbolizes. Through our story, I hope that you see that we don’t want our culture to define our marriage. We want you to see that our God is in control of it.

Today is a day that holds little significance to many, but has enormous life-changing significance to me. It was a defining moment in 2008 that made all that I ever believed in, or ever knew, come crashing down in a matter of moments. A day that brought so much clarity on why the past several months had been so brutal for me; and a day that I’m SURE the enemy thought he would finally have his way in my marriage and in our family… dividing it forever.

I knew something was wrong when I went to bed the night before. I had been living with lies and deceit for some time and the only comfort I found was being on my face before Jesus. That night wasn’t any different! I knew something was wrong with my marriage. I knew what it was in my heart, but I was too scared to confront the issue in fear that I would be left broken-hearted and alone.

That night there was an even heavier uneasiness – one that only the Holy Spirit could comfort. Over the past several months I had grown to be more sensitive to the Lord and learned to be more dependent on Him as my husband. I knew that night He was preparing me, preparing my body and preparing me emotionally for what was to be brought to light the next day.

When my husband came home from lunch that day he was very distraught and my heart broke for him and I knew something was terribly wrong. Three little words were all it took to finally have clarity, “You were right.” It didn’t even take me a second to understand what he meant. I knew that my husband was having an affair.

The facade of my perfect little world was no longer so perfect anymore. My heart broke into a million shattered dreams. Before this day, God had been teaching me more about who I was in Him and that all I needed was to hold on to Jesus and He would carry me through. But on that day I was too weak to even lift my hands up to grab hold. I went through a time where I felt crazy and numb to life. This is what Abba-Father was preparing me for? What did I do to deserve this?!?

My shock quickly turned into depression, and then my depression (nearly overnight) turned into anger and bitterness. I must say that I did not act very Christ-like during my “anger” stage. In all honesty, I probably gave the enemy even more room to come in and destroy our marriage. Yet, by the grace of God and talking it out with some of our amazing friends, family and support system, my anger has slowly subsided.

The rest… I guess you can say is history. This is Jesse’s and my heart written out before you so there is no more speculation of what has been “going on” in our marriage. This process has been a long one, and there are still days that affect me more that I’d like them to. With the help of God, I’m slowly allowing my husband to win back my heart and I’m learning to forgive not only my husband for the choices he’s made, but myself for what I have allowed to happen within our marriage.

Though I don’t take blame for the choices Jesse made, God gently reminds me that I’m still far from perfect and I must look at myself and see what I contributed to put our marriage in jeopardy. Everything may seem ok on the outside but people really don’t have any clue what is truly going on. My husband and I have grown so much as people and in our walk with the Lord through this journey. I hope that one day we will be able to help others through this experience and give our testimony to show how great our God is and how quick He is to renew a covenant in utter despair.

Life is filled with so many unexpected twists and turns, it’s important to remember that God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. Even when you feel like you can’t handle it, God is still faithful because He places people in your life to help walk you through it. We were blessed to have those people already in our life. To those of you who were there for us, you know who you are and we thank you for all your love and support.

Marriage isn’t easy. It takes hard work and a whole lot of prayer. The enemy is always looking to destroy marriages and he will do what he can to tear a family apart. Your marriage and family are constantly under attack. Don’t let Satan play a dangerous game with your life. Start praying for your family and your marriage daily! Know that there are others out there praying for you too! Don’t let our society define your marriage and allow it to become just another statistic. God is bigger than that, so let the world see that!

Silent Sunday's - Explanation

So, I know a lot of you are wondering about my Silent Sunday photo from yesterday. Yea… maybe it wasn’t exactly the best photo to post without an explanation… but I really like it, and it sums up my week in an instant. :)

About a month ago, I went to the dermatologist to have this mole on my back looked at because my family (mom) had been bugging me about it for over a year to have it checked out. You may remember my “Shot in the Back” post, where it bled through my nice white shirt when they did the first removal. Turned out the mole was precancerous and after the first scrap; I had to come back in and get all the skin from around that area removed.

All in all, things are fine. There hasn’t been a ton of pain… I think that worst part of the healing process has got to be the itching. It doesn’t really hurt unless I hit it by mistake when I itch the sucker. If I scratch it… that’s when it hurts!!

The mole was not nearly as big as the stitches make it look to be. Below I have a picture of my back from my brother and sister-in-love’s wedding. I think after seeing the pictures of how black it was… it made me want to get it removed.


So there you have it… my explanation of my Silent Sunday. I also think its pretty cool that I freaking awesome scar on my back! I’m not sure why I like scars so much… maybe because they tell a story of your life. Or… maybe I’m just weird.

Silent Sunday's

Sometimes… I Just Don't Understand

I find myself annoyed and somewhat baffled at how some people can call you friend, yet show very little interest in you. Maybe it’s my own fault for thinking too highly of people or thinking of them as closer to me than they really imagine our friendship to be. I just assume that if we have been through a lot and spent a lot of time together, than our friendship really meant something. I guess I’m naive. I guess life REALLY doesn’t work like that.

It just sucks to know that you have tried to reach out, offer things, made yourself available but you just aren’t important enough for them to do the same back to you. It stings… it hurts… its utter rejection; it just makes me want to cry and everything inside me just wishes I didn’t care. Maybe this is God’s way of teaching me to be more open with other people, to show a side of myself that others might see in me and that I need to change. I can see how I might come off that way at times, but I don’t want to be like that anymore because I know how much it hurts.

Ha… I find myself ridiculous and quite childish right now… maybe even a little ashamed. I can see how this is then enemy hitting me right where it hurts. He is playing on my low self esteem and every ounce of my human insecurities and recent pains.

I know I’m bigger than this… but sometimes I think it’s ok to just say it SUCKS when people don’t really care as much as you thought they did! A rough part of reality just sunk in.

Remember When - With Kylie Joy

A year ago today a dear friend gave birth to her second daughter Kylie Joy. I was able to take pictures of her first born, Kyra… so I was hoping to carry on the tradition and take the first pictures of Kylie as well. It was very exciting and Keshet looked just fabulous afterwards… you would have never guessed she just had a baby. She was just glowing! These are some of the pictures from a year ago!

Happy 1st Birthday!!!

My Family – Minus Three…

We are a silly bunch of Balla’s/Yacoe’s/Wilson’s!

Not Me! Monday!

I haven't done a "Not Me! Monday" in a while, but I think after this week... I need to! This blog carnival was created by Mckmama and you can head over there and read what she and tons of others have "not" been doing this week. Pretty silly stuff!

• I did not come off the Fourth of July weekend feeling refreshed and ready to go. I didn't not think that this was going to be an easy week by any means and that things were going to be calm and peaceful. This past week… I had no emotions what-so-ever. I did not cry, I did not yell, I was not happy. I was fully expecting my world to be turned in every direction, all in a matter of 5 days! (You think I would have learned by now!)
• I didn't and still am pretty disappointed that I got to experience the most beautiful thing ever by attending the birth of my sister’s baby. I did not cry the entire way to the hospital, knowing that my sister was about to make one of the hardest decisions of her life and how she would fall madly in-love with this person she was caring for 9 months. I didn't think that this was going to be so hard for her. I didn't think that she was going into this so blind.
• It did not break my heart to see my sister leap for her baby as he came out and then watch her as she tried to hold back every tear or sign of emotion. I was not in shock that my sis, after giving birth, pulled out her cell phone and started texting people while they were still removing the placenta. I did not have a soaking wet foot and a pool of blood by my feet after Dylan came out; and in no way would I have been grossed out by it if it did. ;) I did not take over 200 pictures of Dylan, load them all on my computer, edit them and get them on facebook all in about 3 hours... that is just crazy and could never be done!
• I didn't spend two day going back and forth with my sister and her boyfriend trying to figure out the emotions she was feeling concerning this decision she was about to make. I did not get angry, I did not get sad and in no way did I get frustrated. I did not call my mom in a panic and tell her I had no idea what I was doing and that I needed to speak to a "Professional" before I pulled my hair out; and at that very moment have a social worker walk right past me and ask if I needed help. (How ironic) It did not take us 3 hours to get to a house that should have only taken 45 minutes to get to. After everything was done on Friday night I did not tell Henry and Johnna they could... um... well, I'll keep that one to myself. ;)
• My heart did not break this past Friday, when my pregnant sister-in-love called me to tell me that there was no heartbeat when they did the ultrasound. I did not cry like a baby and scream at God about how freaking messed up this was!!!!! I did not feel like I lost, yet another niece or nephew on the very same day my sister was letting her baby go. I was in no way honored or humbled that my sister (sister-in-love) chose to call me; when she wanted to speak to no one because of this pain.
• I did not think that anything else could go wrong this week - it didn't. (It did)
• I did not do battle with the enemy this week, not one bit! I did not tell him that my family and close friends are off limits and he has no authority in our lives. I did not plead with God to show mercy and grant grace for all that has happened. I did not give glory for all that God is about to do and did not acknowledge Him for what He has already done. I did not pray for peace for all that needed it, and that this week would hold brighter days for all. I just don’t care enough to do that type of stuff.

In all seriousness - This week has been a tough one for my family. There are hard things, sad things, and even better things to come from these past 5 days. We know that God is in control and He is teaching each and every one of us new things every day.

For me, I learned more about myself and what I am truly capable of and strengths I never knew I had. In the midst of all of this I found that I love coaching young mom’s during labor and might want to explore what it would take to become a midwife. I also talked and worked very close with one of the social workers at Paoli Hospital; by the end of this process she asked me to come work for her as an advocate for young mothers and mother requesting adoption plans. I’m pretty sure you need a degree to do something like that. But it’s something I defiantly want to look into.

So many people go into an adoption plan without really knowing anything. I think people need to be more informed. There are so many things wrong with the system, so many things that people don’t see or even understand. Maybe this is God’s way of tugging on my heart and telling me to make a difference. I’m just waiting on Him now.

A Story of a Girl

Let me tell you a story about a girl…

A girl who made one choice not to take a life, to cover up a mistake
A girl who spent 9 months not wanting to make the same mistakes as her (birth) mother
A girl who knew there was something better for that bundle of love growing inside her
A girl who choose to bless a family with a gift, they couldn’t have on their own
A girl who did one selfless act, to give this little person she loves so much everything
A girl who grew in love and compassion in just a matter of months
A girl who became a woman, when she laid herself down for another
A girl who gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named Dylan at 4:34am on July 8th 2009

That girl… is my sister.

Johnna, I can’t put into words how amazing you are. You have blossomed into such a mature woman and I can’t wait to see what kind of plans God has for you. I am so proud of who you have become and who you will continue to be. Your strength is inspiring and I’m so blessed to call you sister! I love you!

Happy 4th of July!

I was learning more about my camera then watching the fireworks... oh well!!! I had fun!