Imagine Me

I’ve been listening to a lot of Kirk Franklin lately. By far he is one of the most inspirational Christian artists I have ever listened to. He has been through the battle; he is honest about his struggle and still he keeps his focus on HIM.

When Hero came out I was obsessed with the album. I couldn’t stop feeling myself in each of the songs in some way. Each song brought out weakness that I was choosing to hide from the world; but funny enough all I wanted to do was dance them and express how weak I really was. I ended up choreographing three dances, but the ones that sticks with me the most is “Imagine Me.”

Before my quiet time with the Lord today I decided to put this CD on and just soak. Boy did I soak. In no time, an hour had passed and the floor beneath me was damp from the tear I had been crying before the Father. This song hit a nerve and I so desperately wanted to see myself the way Jesus saw me.

I started to imagine me. Imagine a strong woman with very little insecurities because I knew who I was and how much the Father loved me. I began to realize that I DID have the power to stop the enemy and all the thoughts that constantly controlled my ways of thinking. I saw myself letting go of all the people who have tried to bring me down or rob me of my joy because of their own selfish motives. I saw myself free from judgment, free from my past, free from bitterness, free from so many issues that God is constantly working on in me. I imagined myself so free…

Kirk Franklin - Imagine Me

How do you imagine you?

Black Friday Vintage Giveaway

Who here loves vintage jewelry? Who here doesn’t like getting things for free? Let’s start off the Christmas “shopping” holiday off with a bang!

Most of you will be out the entire day looking for the best deals and shopping for that perfect gift; but in your spare time take a moment enter yourself for a chance to win a beautiful vintage Christmas gift from Helen’s Hassack. If vintage isn’t your thing, maybe there is someone that you know that would just love it. So enter today to win my Black Friday Vintage Giveaway!

The things Holly-Lynn finds are amazing and quite beautiful; she always has new things at her etsy store. One lucky winner will get to pick out their favorite piece of vintage jewelry. Here are a few of my favorites from her collection!

Here’s how to enter

1. Visit Holly-Lynn’s Esty store and pick your favorite piece of vintage jewelry, then leave me a comment on what item it is.
2. For a second entry – leave another comment telling me you are a follower or that you have just become a new follower.
3. For a third entry – Leave another comment (with a link) that you blogged, facebooked or tweeted about this giveaway.

Christmas is the time for giving, so I thought of no better way to start it then by doing a giveaway! The giveaway will end on Friday, December 4th and the winner will be announced a week later. Good luck to all, I hope that you can find yourself a little treasure at her store.

Happy Thanksgiving

I had so much fun decorating this cake! Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Love Does Not Delight in Evil, But Rejoices With the Truth.

Have you ever taken delight in evil? How terrible does that sound? What kind and gentle Christian person would delight themselves in evil things? I was convinced that I had never done such a hurtful and horrible thing. But through this Love study, God has taught me so much and yet again, he was going to teach me something new to knock me off my feet and put me face down in humility.

I am well aware that I am far from perfect and I will be the first to admit it. I am not naive to the fact that I have on several occasions been blinded by my own pride and down right terrible behavior. I have thought that my actions were justifiable at the time or that I might have had the “right” to feel the way I did in a certain situation. But have I ever taken delight in evil? Still convinced of my innocence, my flesh wasn’t going to give that one up so easily.

Delight: A feeling of extreme gratification aroused by something good or desired.
Evil: Something that is a cause or source of suffering, injury, or destruction: the social evils of poverty and injustice.

WHAT THE... Again, Father God has brought me to my knees in conviction and has drawn out a covered up sin that I have chosen to bury. Though I do not feel that I have deliberately delighted in evil, God reminds me of several times of when I have taken the stance or a feeling that a person has deserved their suffering because of the hurt they have caused me or others.

For me, my hurt over the affair has caused me to rudely point the finger and say "you deserve what you get!" Deserve all the hurt, all the pain and at times I wish it was worse for you... just so you could feel the pain that I felt and what you took away from me. How stupid am I to admit that? Have I learned nothing from this recent conviction? Don't paint me as a vengeful person yet; remember I am still working through the hurt and moving on towards healing. And though I am still angry, I am convicted and question, who I am to judge whether or not their pain hasn't been as bad as mine. Or simply the fact, "Who am I to be OK with the suffering of someone else?!?!" WHO?!?!

More often than not the hurt that is there is just the enemy covering our eyes to the freedom we could have if we just gave it up. Instead we allow the enemy to stay and feed our pain and hide behind all our selfish reasoning. In the end, living in hurt and bitterness will only hurt us. We can all at times find ourselves delighting in evil, usually and unfortunately unaware of it. It can be as small as saying, “See, I told you so.” Or not even the words crossing your lips, but taking a prideful stance that you sure did warn them.

What God calls us to do is love one another and rejoice in the truth. John 3:21 “But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." Let us not hold ourselves as better than any one else. To God, all our sins are the same. Who are we to delight in any hurt or suffering of others, even if we feel that it is justifiable? Would you want others to delight in your suffering?

In this walk, I have come so very far. Yet, there is still so much more for me to learn and walk through. I don’t think there is ever a point in someone’s life that they should stop growing and learning. All through life God allows things to happen to make us better, stronger people and to show us how faithful and amazing He is as our Father. I can rejoice in that truth alone.

Have you ever unintentionally found yourself being 'OK' with another person's hurt or suffering? What is God putting on your heart?

Hello Baby!

We had our first ultrasound this morning and it was so good to see our little one.
Heart rate is 172 and baby looks healthy!
I’m due June 17th!

Jayden was very excited to see this pictures!!

Silent Sunday - 9 Weeks, SAY WHAT?!?!

Convictions and A Prayer Request

I have seriously felt at my lowest of lows lately. Why is it that I always feel like this when I’m supposed to be at my happiest? I feel like I’m on this journey to find myself again, yet have none of the people in my life to stand by me like before. I feel lost and alone and trying desperately to understand what I did to find myself between this jagged rock and this steep cliff that I’m about fall off of. But still when all seems lost, God has a way of showing you that He’s here and how much He cares about you.

As I was crying like a baby in my car last night on the way home from a movie with my son; an Addison Road song came on called “Hope Now.” Needless to say, the tears certainly did not stop; in fact they got much worse. Conviction and dishonor rolled over me like a guilty wave. I have been so wrong and yet my merciful God gave me a gentle glimpse into why things have played out the way they have.

Though I feel so broken down and out of control, God is showing me that HE is the one walking me through it. Without Him, I am nothing! This song spoke to my heart more that I thought it could. Maybe it will speak to yours today as well.

Hope Now
If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I'm Yours

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

I am not my own
I've been carried by you all my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

You've become my heart’s desire
I will sing Your praises higher
Cause Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

Also, if you could keep me in prayer I would really appreciate it. As you can see from the picture below I am already showing. This is not because I am farther along that I though; it’s because I have an umbilical hernia that has grown much larger since my last pregnancy. (Honestly, I’m quite embarrassed that I’m showing so soon even though I showed quickly last time) Since growing it has also become a little more painful than before. So please pray that is stays manageable through this pregnancy. Thank you and I hope you all have a blessed week!

Family Foto Shoot

My amazing cousin Hadassah took these pictures for us. After she gave me the unedited copies I spent a little time "enhancing" them. It has been a long time since we had family pictures taken and she was generous enough to come out to the park and shoot a few photos. I think there are a few that turned out quite nicely. These pictures are my favorite. Which one is yours?

Thankful Thursday

I don’t normally do Thankful Thursdays but I feel there is a lot to be thankful for in my life! So why the heck not!

I’m thankful for the healthy little miracle growing inside of me and how perfect God’s timing truly is. I believe this child is a blessing and no mistake what-so-ever. I can’t wait to see how much more healing will come to this family because of this little one. God’s faithfulness will surely show through this bundle of joy!

I’m thankful that I was just told by my OB that there is a chance for me to have a VBAC! There are things that my husband and I are still going to need to think about and discuss, but I’m glad there is an option!

I’m so thankful for my little man that brings so much laughter to this Yacoe household. Each new day is filled with new and exciting words. Sometimes not so exciting words, but mommy is learning to control her mouth so little man won’t say those things anymore!

I’m thankful for a hubby that tells me that I am beautiful everyday even though I feel like a heffer! I find myself falling in-love all over again and am so thankful for his servant’s heart to me and towards our family. He has been my life line and such a source of strength for me these past few months as well as an encouragement to my soul!

I’m thankful for a mommy I can tell anything to and share my heart with. I spent hours talking to her last night and she encouraged me and built me up as she always has. I don’t know many mothers like her that are so non-judgmental and even handed, yet still able to challenge me on my issues. I believe that if a person can be honest with you even if it stings just a little it shows how much they really do love you because they want to see you as a better person from it. I’m thankful for a mother who is honest with me and can challenge me; knowing that she is helping me become a better person and a greater woman of God!

Though I have been struggling with being home, I am thankful that I can stay home and raise my children. I’m lucky and though I’m still getting my feet wet in this whole process, God is certainly sending people my way to help me sort through the hard times.

I’m thankful for friends; friends that know I need them when I need them and are there for me no matter what. They have been the ones calling me, checking in on me to make sure everything is ok. I really think you realize who your true friends are when you feel the most alone. People I would have never expected to be reaching out so much are. I’m so thankful for those friends!

I’m thankful for the grace and mercy God gives me each day to be a better person. How HE shows me to take the log out of my own eye before I point other’s out. How imperfect I am, but so thankful for the blood of Jesus that washes over me daily.

Hope your week has been full of blessings!! Thank you all for the congratulations on our new little one coming. We are certainly super excited. I am going to wait until my first ultrasound to give you the details because I’m really not sure how far along I am and stuff… but as soon as I know, I’ll be sure to fill you all in!

The Yacoe's Have a Surprise!

Let’s Play Catch Up

There are so many things I want to write about, talk about, vent about. I want to plain-old purge myself of all the crazy randomness of my life. These past few weeks I have had plenty to write about, but unfortunately have had little motivation to write about them.

Life has changed so drastically for me; at times I’m not even sure how to handle it or work with my new surroundings. I’m still learning about who this new stay at home mom is and what I’m really all about. It’s new ground for me and I feel like I still don’t have my footing. I feel like that independent side of me is washing slowly away and I feel slightly depressed about it. Not to mention I have very little stay at home mom friends who are around and often feel somewhat alone in my day to day life.

However, there are good things about this new venture in my life. I get to be home with my little boy, raising him the way I want him to be raised. We have fun and spend lots of quality time with one another each and every day. I get to be the homemaker I never really could be when I was working two jobs. My home is much neater and I’m learning new things about cooking and baking that I always wanted to try. I feel like a better wife as well. I try to put my husband’s needs before my own because I know that he has worked a hard day to provide for our family. I have a completely different outlook and respect for my husband now that he is the sole provider for our family.

As most of you have seen I have been doing much less blogging recently. Though I love to write, there are many reasons for not doing so. First, being at home is a lot harder than I ever gave SAHM’s credit for. I feel like my days go so quickly that I never even have time to get on and write all the things from that day. Another reason is that I’m trying to find my way (like always) and what God really wants me to write about.

I still find myself taken back by so many other blogs and how so many of them are so self focused. Whether people like to admit it or not, it’s our nature to emulate that things are good with us; especially when your business is out there for the world to see. I feel like at times I share too much of the imperfectness of myself and my family that maybe it isn’t entirely appropriate. I sometimes wonder if I can’t find a happy balance between positive and gritty real than maybe blogging just isn’t for me.

I guess I just need to keep finding myself in all of this and who God wants ME to be as a writer. I know that He is faithful to guide my heart on the right the path, as He has always done in the past. At church on Sunday they sang “Mighty to Save” by Laura Story and it really touched my heart. Maybe it will touch someone out there today.

Mighty to Save
Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
A kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Yes I surrender

Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)

Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

You were mighty to save