Monday, November 13, 2017

Hello?

Hello?  Is this mic still on?  

It’s been 2099 days since my last confession and after this, I can’t promise you that it won’t be another 3000 until my next.  Despite the metaphorical cobwebs growing on my Blogger dashboard, and the deafening silence from our tiny little corner of the internet these past 5 years, I still (to this day) get encouraging emails thanking us for telling our story.  It gives me such joy that our story can help others.  Thank you for that!

To all of you that still pop in once in a while, I feel it is time to give you a little update on where we all are today.   Jesse and I are still very much married and very much happy.  It’s been nine years since the affair and we’ve certainly worked through a lot.  We’ve had our share of ups and downs through the years - from some pretty amazing moments to downright shitty ones at times.  But I can honestly say that I wouldn’t change a thing.  I just wouldn’t. Without ALL the experiences I have had, I wouldn’t be the woman, wife, or mother I am today.  I’m still grateful that we both chose to fight for one another, and that we continue to choose this life together.  Life is far from perfect but I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone other than Jesse.  

A lot has happened since you last heard from me.  Unfortunately, 2013 trumped 2008 (the year of the affair) as the world’s worst year for our family, when both Jesse and I lost a parent.  Jesse lost his mom that January and then I lost my daddy in July. When we didn’t think it could get any worse, we were knocked down again when my grandmother passed away that November.  Needless to say, we were ready for 2013 to be over.  

These past five years have also brought tons of joy, with two more little blessings.  We now have FOUR beautifully crazy BOYS!  We had Wyatt James in October of 2014, and then our newest addition, Lincoln Rhys, this past February.    Sadly, between the joyous arrival of Wyatt and Lincoln we suffered a late term miscarriage (16 weeks) in October of 2015. But we know that we will one day see him again! 

Since I started my photography business back in 2011 it has been steadily growing. It has become another baby of mine, to say the least.  I love it.  I love what I do and I love that I have the ability to do it.  Creating art out of an images I capture is exciting and I’m so glad that I can make others happy with what I create for them.   

Though I haven’t been writing as often as I used to, this past summer I had the privilege of writing for As We Are. I wrote a series in which I was able to share our story once again.  I forgot how much I enjoyed writing. It was good to dip toes back in the water and reach people who needed to feel less alone.   Being able to make our mistakes and misery into a ministry, is such a blessing for me.

I also have been super excited about a Facebook group I started to help those who are currently walking through an affair, or have been struggling through the pain of one for many years. I want people to feel more supported and encouraged while they are navigating this very hard and sticky season.  Even if you’ve worked past a lot of the mess, I’m always looking for ladies who would be willing to speak into and encourage others. I hope you’ll consider stopping by if this is something that applies to you.

All in all?  Things are wonderful.  Crazy, but oh-so good. 

Before I leave you for another 3000 days, I also want to sincerely thank all of you who still check in, send emails and even more importantly, those who still send people our way knowing that they may feel a little bit better after reading our story.   Thank you for allowing us to represent hope for others walking through this.  I’m so grateful that our story has been able to help so many through the years.  I’m so grateful for the ability to be able to encourage so many who feel desperately lost during such a difficult season in their life.  I’m truly humbled by the amount of emails I’ve received and continue to get.  

There is always hope, even when it doesn’t seem possible.  

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A Reminder Of Love

As I was doing my devotions this morning and was reflecting on this holiday of love, I felt the urge to type a few things down.  Though I think this holiday should be practiced all year long; the bottom line is we all often get wrapped up in our hectic lives, we sometimes forget to tell people we care most about how we truly feel.  Especially the ones we are closest to!

I sometimes forget that if things would have gone in another direction, my life might not be where it is today.  I sometimes forget how blessed I am to have a man in my life that adores me and loves me despite all my imperfections.  I sometimes forget that I have forgiven my husband for his past, and sometimes still take my hurt feelings out on him every now and then.  I sometimes forget "God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." Romans 5:8

I know that our love story isn't some romantic fairy tale and (if I'm being honest) still at times find myself saying "God, why did this happen to us?"  But it HAS made us who we are today.  It has made me the woman I am today; has made my husband the amazing man he is today and has brought a refreshing appreciation and unconditional love to our marriage.  All because of the example of our heavenly Father's love for us.


We know that our marriage will never be perfect and we will always make mistakes as we walk through life.  But when we do, we are reminded of where we have been and what we have walked through and are thankful for God's faithfulness to us and our lives. Because for us, we will always have hope in what He has walked us through to get us to where we are today.


Today most people are celebrating the love they have in their lives, but there are also those dealing with great pain and heartache today as well.  I can tell you, I have been there.  I feel your pain and I empathize with your breaking heart.  To those who are really struggling with their marriage and find themselves questioning what love really is, there is hope.  To those who are working through something big (i.e. an affair, sickness or heart break of any kind), there is HOPE.  To those who are single and feel like your day will never come, THERE IS HOPE.  Why?  Because He is faithful!  


This Valentines... I am blessed!  I'm reminded of God's promise for our marriage and how far this marriage has come in the last 4 years and smile because HE IS GOOD!  If you know anyone struggling and hurting today, let them know you care and let them know how much you love them. If you know someone who has lost all hope... well, just tell them to come read our story and maybe they will see things a little differently. Never give up on what you love, because HE never gives up on you. :)