Thursday, February 26, 2009

Choices Made

(Disclaimer: This is my blog and my soul written out for all to see. I'm not ashamed at who I am or where I have been; and know that I am who I am because of what God has allowed me to go through. This is my life written out for the world to see and I hope that one day I can help one person through what I write. You are seeing me raw and real and I’m giving you just a glimpse into my life so you can see how awesome my God is and how he is growing me each day. There is no facade here, what you see is what you get! We all make our own mistakes, but through those mistakes we learn to walk out forgiveness, begin new loves, and see God work is such amazing ways! Take it or leave it, you have the choice to read this or not.)

I would like to think that people are wise enough to know what they are getting themselves into before they make a certain decision that will impact their lives forever… or worse, others. Knowing all too well, I know that this expectation of people will never be met; because, I too fail at this. In some situations it’s hard for me to understand why we sometimes don't always think about the consequences of a decision before making them. From the smallest of things to the most impactful of things, we all seem to do it! Though some decisions might be smaller than others or have impacted less people; we all have come to a place where we didn't think about what we were walking into before we made that decision... Or did we?

Why do we choose to keep doing something that we know isn't good for us? Why is it that we choose to live in the moment and forget all the people who care about us and how a decision might impact those we love? Why are we so selfish that the only thing that matters at that moment is ourselves and our happiness? Why is it that we always tend to follow our own hearts and not Gods?

You know, there is a reason God tells us “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander." (Matt 15:19) Or that "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" (Jer 17:9) Not only does He give warring in those scriptures he mentioned it nine more times that the heart can be wicked and speak lies. I know that I am suspect to at least one of them, but why is that I can never answer the question when I’m in that moment?

Me, me, me, the choices I make are all about me; but in most cases you decision never just impacts you. They almost always impact everyone around you; your family, your friends... co-workers. You are not only playing with your own destiny when you make a decision, you can alter someone else’s. I, myself sometimes forget that the choices I make, may someday affect not only me, but my son. I feel like so many of us go through our life not always thinking about how you might impact another with the choices you make. There are some that never learn from their mistakes and can consequently sow into their own generational line. Sara Groves nails it in her song Generations…

Remind me of this with every decision.
Generations will reap what I sow. I
can pass on a curse or a blessing
to those I will never know.

I don’t know about you, but I hope that my great-great- great granddaughter doesn’t know things she should know and to have to see thing she should see because of the choices I have made.

Whether we like to admit it or not, we all know what we are getting into when we make a choice; unless you have some mental disease that doesn’t allow you to distinguish right from wrong. I think that when we choose to make a decision to walk into a situation to big to handle you already know what the outcome will be, even if your intent wasn't where you ended up going. I think people (especially christian's) are smart enough to know that if you keep touching the hot stove, you’ll eventually get burned, or worse scared and for the rest of your life you’ll have something to remind you have that mistake.

My flesh inside wants nothing more than to vent about how much mistakes have caused hurt in my life or point the finger at those who have been selfish and have destroyed lives because of their choices and have yet to communicate a heartfelt apology. But am I any better than the ones who have hurt me? I too have made my share of mistakes and have caused hurt in others. My heavenly father gently reminds me that mistakes do not define a person and I should take the log out of my own eye. No one want to be reminded of their mistakes forever, I sure don’t. Though there are times where people will remind you of your mistakes or label you as that mistake, God is the only one that can define who you are.

Ezek 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

2 Cor 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation ; the old has gone, the new has come!


Kristin Williams Balla said...

As a parent, one of the greatest joys is to watch your child grow in wisdom. I am so proud of you Lyryn!
Love you always,

Susan said...

Lyryn, you have such a beautiful gift of writing (no doubt one of the generational BLESSING'S passed down to you) and you are very inspiring. i love how humble you are to admit your own failings in this area rather than just pointing the fingers at others. it's true maturity that allows a person to view things that way. i'm so proud of the way you're allowing God to continue to mold and shape you in who He wants you to be. it's a privilege to watch. i love you so much!!!

JamiLynnKastner said...

Back pain has me up... What better time to catch up on your blog.... This entry brought healing to my weary soul.... Been a ROUGH week of revisitng the past... I really NEEDED this blog. Thank you.