Monday, July 13, 2009

Not Me! Monday!

I haven't done a "Not Me! Monday" in a while, but I think after this week... I need to! This blog carnival was created by Mckmama and you can head over there and read what she and tons of others have "not" been doing this week. Pretty silly stuff!

  • I did not come off the Fourth of July weekend feeling refreshed and ready to go. I didn't not think that this was going to be an easy week by any means and that things were going to be calm and peaceful. This past week… I had no emotions what-so-ever. I did not cry, I did not yell, I was not happy. I was fully expecting my world to be turned in every direction, all in a matter of 5 days! (You think I would have learned by now!)
  • I didn't and still am pretty disappointed that I got to experience the most beautiful thing ever by attending the birth of my sister’s baby. I did not cry the entire way to the hospital, knowing that my sister was about to make one of the hardest decisions of her life and how she would fall madly in-love with this person she was caring for 9 months. I didn't think that this was going to be so hard for her. I didn't think that she was going into this so blind.
  • It did not break my heart to see my sister leap for her baby as he came out and then watch her as she tried to hold back every tear or sign of emotion. I was not in shock that my sis, after giving birth, pulled out her cell phone and started texting people while they were still removing the placenta. I did not have a soaking wet foot and a pool of blood by my feet after Dylan came out; and in no way would I have been grossed out by it if it did. ;) I did not take over 200 pictures of Dylan, load them all on my computer, edit them and get them on facebook all in about 3 hours... that is just crazy and could never be done!
  • I didn't spend two day going back and forth with my sister and her boyfriend trying to figure out the emotions she was feeling concerning this decision she was about to make. I did not get angry, I did not get sad and in no way did I get frustrated. I did not call my mom in a panic and tell her I had no idea what I was doing and that I needed to speak to a "Professional" before I pulled my hair out; and at that very moment have a social worker walk right past me and ask if I needed help. (How ironic) It did not take us 3 hours to get to a house that should have only taken 45 minutes to get to. After everything was done on Friday night I did not tell Henry and Johnna they could... um... well, I'll keep that one to myself. ;)
  • My heart did not break this past Friday, when my pregnant sister-in-love called me to tell me that there was no heartbeat when they did the ultrasound. I did not cry like a baby and scream at God about how freaking messed up this was!!!!! I did not feel like I lost, yet another niece or nephew on the very same day my sister was letting her baby go. I was in no way honored or humbled that my sister (sister-in-love) chose to call me; when she wanted to speak to no one because of this pain.
  • I did not think that anything else could go wrong this week - it didn't. (It did)
  • I did not do battle with the enemy this week, not one bit! I did not tell him that my family and close friends are off limits and he has no authority in our lives. I did not plead with God to show mercy and grant grace for all that has happened. I did not give glory for all that God is about to do and did not acknowledge Him for what He has already done. I did not pray for peace for all that needed it, and that this week would hold brighter days for all. I just don’t care enough to do that type of stuff.

In all seriousness - This week has been a tough one for my family. There are hard things, sad things, and even better things to come from these past 5 days. We know that God is in control and He is teaching each and every one of us new things every day.

For me, I learned more about myself and what I am truly capable of and strengths I never knew I had. In the midst of all of this I found that I love coaching young mom’s during labor and might want to explore what it would take to become a midwife. I also talked and worked very close with one of the social workers at Paoli Hospital; by the end of this process she asked me to come work for her as an advocate for young mothers and mother requesting adoption plans. I’m pretty sure you need a degree to do something like that. But it’s something I defiantly want to look into.

So many people go into an adoption plan without really knowing anything. I think people need to be more informed. There are so many things wrong with the system, so many things that people don’t see or even understand. Maybe this is God’s way of tugging on my heart and telling me to make a difference. I’m just waiting on Him now.


LucieP said...

what a touching post!
I was wondering about your sister.
I could not do it.
I know I couldn't.
I don't know what it takes to be able to do it.

In all honesty after hearing about your sis in law, my first thought was about your sister.

I want to be a midwife!!!! Both of my boys were delivered by my midwife, Noni. She also does my annual care. Unfortunately after I had Matthew, she was diagnosed with a brain tumor and hasn't been able to practice since.

I know to be a CNM you have to be a nurse and then get the CNM which is what I would want because I'm all about drugs and delivering in a hospital if that's what the mom wants.

I looked into being a doula and you don't have to have a degree but there is some certification you have to go through. I've also thought about being a counselor...but I think I want to be more clinical.....

Hope this week is better...I'm glad your family has you!!

Mary Michal said...

Wow! You've had quite a week. My heart goes out to you, your sister, and your sister-in-love. I will pray for each of you. And for Dylan. God has an amazing plan for each one of you, sometimes we just have to wait on him to reveal it.

Sarah said...

Nothing to say other than you and your family are in my prayers.

Broken said...

Lyryn, love, you are so loved.

Katie said...

Fun post! I would be happy to help you with some ideas for your little boy's room...I will get some things together! What colors and what is your style?

Susan D said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. After reading your posts from the past two days, all I can say is WOW! God is stretching and teaching you...preparing you for a great work. Blessings, SusanD

Renee and Brandon said...

I'm praying for you. what a tough week. WEIRD too because I too have experienced what you went through with you sis in love. Again prayers are being sent from my family to yours.

Jenna said...

You will ALL be in my prayers. God ministers to us in the most amazing ways when we have the most broken of hearts. I pray you find this to be true!

In addition to the prayers for the hurt and emotions, I will be praying about the direction God is leading your life. I'm considering a midwife for WHEN I do get pregnant- I had a friend that was one but she's in Chicago and I think it would be quite a rough 5 hour drive in a hurry! :)

The Reigner's said...

Just to echo everyone else, wow, what a tough week! I was so sorry to hear about Katie. But God gives us "down" or low times so when the good stuff comes we can enjoy it even more! I'll be praying that this week goes a lot better for you and your family.


Leigh said...


I think you should definitely explore those exciting career opportunities. You'd be awesome at both.

Alicia said...

I am so sorry to hear about the struggles you are going through. You are obviously such a great support for your family. I hope that things improve for you all, stay strong! You will all be in my prayers.

RCaitlin said...

I'm so sorry it was such a hard week! I hope that things will only get better from here.

Jessica said...

Wow, it has been a rough week for you. I will pray for you & your family!

Kait said...

I'm sorry you are having such a rough week! Hoping and praying this week goes better for you!