Thursday, August 27, 2009

This Rock

I have found that even a safe and sturdy rock can sometimes crack. It’s a small crack, but as little pieces of it start to slowly crumble from underneath my feet, I can't help but feel panicked as I franticly try to find other life lines I can hold onto. Is this crack my fault? Was it smart for me to stay here in this place so long? Should I have left with the others?

I have put my faith, love, drive and sweat into this rock. I have cared for it, fought for it, defended it and have even been hated for it. I believe in this rock. I believed it would take care of me; it HAS taken care of me and blessed me. I'm doing everything I can to have this rock not hurt me; or am I? I have built my household upon this rock and not only have I come a long way, but so has the rock! It has stood the test of time, even when others said it would fall. It has seen its share of sadness; weathered its own storms; has been built upon and has seen growth because there is favor from God. It's a great rock; but with all things, it is still vulnerable to breaking.

Is this just God's way of saying to move on; or is there something more He is trying to tell me? I know that He is testing me again. But sometimes it's so hard to have faith that He will take care of all things, just as long as I trust Him. Is this me not trusting Him again? I have also found that - The bigger the bolder, the more pain it will cause when it comes crashing down on you. I’m in a state of confusion and I'm not sure where to find a good footing. I know there is a reason I know there’s a way. At this point... I'm just holding on for dear life, hoping it all won’t crash too quickly on me.

When all hope seemed lost, I trusted God... why do I not trust Him now? Is it because I'm comfortable? I never liked being "comfortable" when it came to my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I don’t think you should ever be “comfortable”... it's make you more vulnerable to the enemy. Is this what you are trying to teach me? Lord, where do I go from here? Can this crack be repaired or is it time for me to really move from this spot?

I trust you... help me find the way!

25 comments:

Stephanie said...

Oh hon just reading that made my heart hurt for you. I'm sorry you're going through this right now!!!!! I pray that you will find peace in whatever you have to do and that God will lead you in the right direction!

Hugs

Broken said...

I don't have words to make you feel better, or to make this easier. But hold on tight, and know that you are not alone. Trust in Him always, He knows what He's doing. Just remember, you're not standing there alone.

Mrs. A said...

prayers and hugs to you. Here's something I use often when I'm struggling and it reminds me of just who and what my Rock stands for.

I go to the Rock that is higher than I
I find in Him, my full supply,
He is my Rock, my strength and guide,
I will go to Him, what' ever betide.
This Rock holds the world in His hands
Things that happen are part of His plan,
He is in control all over the land,
I'll go to the Rock, He holds my hand.

He's the Rock of my salvation
My joy and inspiration,
He wraps me and draws me to His side,
So I'll cling to the Rock and there abide...
he's the rock of my salvation
my joy and inspiration
I go the Rock that is higher than I
He waits to hear each time I cry,
He wraps me in His arms of love,
I go to the Rock....From up above.

If tears will take me to the Rock
Than Lord just let it be,
I'll yield to Your unfailing love,
I'll go to the Rock, Higher than me.

He's the rock of my salvation
my joy and inspiration
Will you stay close to the Rock?
While the clouds are hanging low,
Pray and press in closer and closer,
Allow Him always to take full control.

In Him I find life's full supply
He grips me with His love and grace,
I find in Him such amazing love,
My precious Rock of Ages took my place.

written by Bernice Ward

I found it online one day and saved it and go back to it often

PS: totally off topic but I find it funny that while I was searching for this poem to comment to you I got a notification saying you had commented me.

Meredith said...

I'm sorry you're in this place! I'm not sure exactly the context, but it sounds like you're right on target in terms of relying on and calling on God to help you find the answer!

Lauren said...

I'm definitely thinking about you and praying for you! God will certainly pull you through!

Christina said...

Hang in there. God will never leave you nor forsake you.

Emily said...

Wow...this is some heavy stuff. I'm not exactly sure I know what you're talking about, but I do know that God can fix any rock. And I believe that if you ask God for clarity in determining His will, he will grant you that. Praying for you...

PaigeR530 said...

Whatever your struggle may be, I'm praying for you. Continue to believe in your rock the way you always have. You are so right: Rocks CAN crack, and even break. Even if it breaks, it makes two new rocks, which is still something strong that you can continue to believe in. Pieces can make a whole, even if they aren't permanently secured. I hope that makes sense to what you are thinking of. If not, just ignore it ;). Whether it makes sense or is relevant to what you are referring to, hold on tight. God will see you through. He will show you the way.

Jorden and Kristin said...

My heart is hurting for you right now! I don't know exactly what you're going through but let me tell you, you've got some serious prayer going up right now from me! I hope everything works out...if you need to talk or just vent feel free to email me!

Jorden and Kristin said...

My heart is hurting for you right now! I don't know exactly what you're going through but let me tell you, you've got some serious prayer going up right now from me! I hope everything works out...if you need to talk or just vent feel free to email me!

renee said...

been there, sister! PRAYING FOR YOU!!!

Amber said...

I came across your blog because you left a little comment on mine. I was reading your latest blog and it truly touched my soul. I can only hope that whatever you are struggling with passes with time and God's love and guidance. I will be praying for you.

Rachel H. said...

I think everyone has had some of these types of feelings before...thinking of you and praying for you!!

PaigeR530 said...

AH! Your last comment hit my heart! Do you have a blog email that I can send you something?

Carol said...

Stay strong, just remember He has a plan for everything.

PaigeR530 said...

Are we just trying to see just HOW many comments we can leave in a given post??? HAHA!

I saw this earlier today, looking for a blog post inspiration, and thought of you with your "rock" post: "If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again. "
~ Flavia Weedn

Lindsey said...

I'm so sorry, please know I'm praying and sending hugs your way!

Where My Treasure Is said...

Life really stinks sometimes, and for some reason it can be hard to trust that God is working all things for good. Keep trusting HIM, running to HIM, holding on to HIM. I'm praying for you and sorry for whatever pain you're going through right now.

Jax said...

I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I'm glad you're relying on your faith to help you here.. I dont know the situation, but I know you're looking in the right place for guidance. And you have friends in many of us on blogger to support you and pray as well. You're in my thoughts and I hope things get better.

sarah m said...

I am so sorry you are at this point. From reading your testimony and all your posts, God has brought you through so much. I don't know what you're going through, but He brought you to it, and He'll bring you through it as long as you keep your eyes fixed on Him. Cling to Him, and you will find rest & guidance. Praying for you, Lyr. :)

MissJody said...

Oh my,... I hope you don't get offended or mad about this comment...
I do believe and love God just as much...however..
When I was going through this..at one point.

My rock..was me.
I taught myself how to be my own rock. I'm probably stepping out of lines here sweetie...but do what your heart tells you and move that way... you'll know what to do.

When I realized the strength and everything I had was in "ME"....I was a new person.
To love is to forgive. Really...
I hold grudges girl! I held grudges like you wouldn't believe!!!!
I again..taught myself I was unhappy doing that...

Your post was and is very touching. I really hope you find, what your searching for.

MissJody said...

Faith never knows where it is being led,
but it knows and loves the One who is leading.
-Oswald Chambers

Linda @ My Trendy Tykes said...

((hugs))

I am pretty much feeling the same way right now. I just keep saying GOD will get me through this. OH YES HE WILL.

Ian & Jess said...

Oh hun - I am sorry for whatever you are going through. I pray for you and I trust that god has a plan for all of us. Hang in there :)

Heather said...

Great post and thanks for sharing your heart!! Hang in there, He is right there with you.

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