I have found that even a safe and sturdy rock can sometimes crack. It’s a small crack, but as little pieces of it start to slowly crumble from underneath my feet, I can't help but feel panicked as I franticly try to find other life lines I can hold onto. Is this crack my fault? Was it smart for me to stay here in this place so long? Should I have left with the others?
I have put my faith, love, drive and sweat into this rock. I have cared for it, fought for it, defended it and have even been hated for it. I believe in this rock. I believed it would take care of me; it HAS taken care of me and blessed me. I'm doing everything I can to have this rock not hurt me; or am I? I have built my household upon this rock and not only have I come a long way, but so has the rock! It has stood the test of time, even when others said it would fall. It has seen its share of sadness; weathered its own storms; has been built upon and has seen growth because there is favor from God. It's a great rock; but with all things, it is still vulnerable to breaking.
Is this just God's way of saying to move on; or is there something more He is trying to tell me? I know that He is testing me again. But sometimes it's so hard to have faith that He will take care of all things, just as long as I trust Him. Is this me not trusting Him again? I have also found that - The bigger the bolder, the more pain it will cause when it comes crashing down on you. I’m in a state of confusion and I'm not sure where to find a good footing. I know there is a reason I know there’s a way. At this point... I'm just holding on for dear life, hoping it all won’t crash too quickly on me.
When all hope seemed lost, I trusted God... why do I not trust Him now? Is it because I'm comfortable? I never liked being "comfortable" when it came to my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I don’t think you should ever be “comfortable”... it's make you more vulnerable to the enemy. Is this what you are trying to teach me? Lord, where do I go from here? Can this crack be repaired or is it time for me to really move from this spot?
I trust you... help me find the way!