Monday, November 2, 2009

Let’s Play Catch Up

There are so many things I want to write about, talk about, vent about. I want to plain-old purge myself of all the crazy randomness of my life. These past few weeks I have had plenty to write about, but unfortunately have had little motivation to write about them.

Life has changed so drastically for me; at times I’m not even sure how to handle it or work with my new surroundings. I’m still learning about who this new stay at home mom is and what I’m really all about. It’s new ground for me and I feel like I still don’t have my footing. I feel like that independent side of me is washing slowly away and I feel slightly depressed about it. Not to mention I have very little stay at home mom friends who are around and often feel somewhat alone in my day to day life.

However, there are good things about this new venture in my life. I get to be home with my little boy, raising him the way I want him to be raised. We have fun and spend lots of quality time with one another each and every day. I get to be the homemaker I never really could be when I was working two jobs. My home is much neater and I’m learning new things about cooking and baking that I always wanted to try. I feel like a better wife as well. I try to put my husband’s needs before my own because I know that he has worked a hard day to provide for our family. I have a completely different outlook and respect for my husband now that he is the sole provider for our family.

As most of you have seen I have been doing much less blogging recently. Though I love to write, there are many reasons for not doing so. First, being at home is a lot harder than I ever gave SAHM’s credit for. I feel like my days go so quickly that I never even have time to get on and write all the things from that day. Another reason is that I’m trying to find my way (like always) and what God really wants me to write about.

I still find myself taken back by so many other blogs and how so many of them are so self focused. Whether people like to admit it or not, it’s our nature to emulate that things are good with us; especially when your business is out there for the world to see. I feel like at times I share too much of the imperfectness of myself and my family that maybe it isn’t entirely appropriate. I sometimes wonder if I can’t find a happy balance between positive and gritty real than maybe blogging just isn’t for me.

I guess I just need to keep finding myself in all of this and who God wants ME to be as a writer. I know that He is faithful to guide my heart on the right the path, as He has always done in the past. At church on Sunday they sang “Mighty to Save” by Laura Story and it really touched my heart. Maybe it will touch someone out there today.

Mighty to Save
Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
A kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Yes I surrender

Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)

Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

You were mighty to save

28 comments:

Katelyn said...

Being open and perceptive to God's leading is such a huge step. Thank you for sharing that vulnerable side of walking with God!

Cara S. said...

You delight my heart in a million ways Lyr. You never fail to write from the heart which in my opinion, is always harder than blogging on the normal day to day activities. You are a wise woman and I have no doubt you will come to find yourself as Lyryn, the SAHM and as Lyryn, the inspirational blogger that you are.
Oh and by the way, Might to Save is Kaiden's absolute favorite song to sing in church. Nothing beats seeing your child raise their hands to worship God if I do say so myself ;)

chelsea said...

Your posts make me thing, which I really love. But I also think that the wonderful thing about blogging, is that it is to be what each writer needs or wants it to be. There's no wrong way to blog...like a journal. For me, it's often an escape from heavier subjects which can take over my thoughts all day...so I write lightly about me. Sometimes I need to release weight or frustration...But for me, I write what makes me happy or soothes my heart, and read others that do the same :)

Stephanie said...

It amazes me how so many people think staying at home is simple and carefree each and everyday. There are so many sides to staying at home many of which are actually very difficult. I feel in many ways that I've lost myself in the process....I've put everyone else first and myself on the back burner repeatedly for the last 9 years. There will come a day as my kids get older and I don't have the small ones that I'll have to deal with putting myself last..I suppose I've just ignored it for the time being.

I love how you speak from your heart when you write. Continue doing what you're doing because you're doing a wonderful job!

Brandi said...

I love it when we sing that song in church. It's so uplifting.

My blog is my "happy place." I do share things that happen in our lives that aren't so great... like my husband losing his job, but generally I like to keep things upbeat and just have fun.

Don't worry ~ you'll catch on to this SAHM thing. It takes a little bit to get adjusted to it, but it's so worth it! :)

chelsea said...

I don't know if it came across, but I LOVE your fresh honesty and writing, and wanted you to feel good about continuing to write what YOU want to write, and read what you want to read. And I totally know what you mean about some blogs, and I know I've been guilty, which is why it's good to have people like you, who cut through the BS and let everyone know it's ok to be real and imperfect!

SassyTimes said...

The transition to being a SAHM is difficult. I would recommend finding a playgroup in your area. You can search on www.meetup.com and probably find one near you (if you live in/around a big city). It's one of the best things I did so far for myself AND my daughter. It's nice to have a support group of women who understand and have the opportunity for activities with other children for my daughter to experience (outside of daycare/preschool).

Lauren said...

Love that song!!! I just love reading your posts & yes, most of us are too chicken to actually share what we're really feeling in our blogs so thank you for being so real & honest with us.

Lilly, Matt, and Sara said...

Ok, welcome to staying at home--you WILL find your groove! I do want to say that while it is good to appreciate and tend to your husbands needs, please remember that you WORK all day, too!! You just get paid in cute little hugs and kisses..(c; That being said, it is essential that you don't always put yourself and your needs last.

Every blog and blog author each own purpose. I started my blog so that out of town family could keep up with the kiddos. I have thought about starting a separate one to talk about more serious stuff, but that just isn't the purpose of the one I have now. I enjoy reading yours and can relate to the stuff you write about. Your blog is driven by a different cause and that is great!!

I stay at home, and I too, don't have lots of stay at home mom friends--I am longing for a play group--so I understand the alone feeling. If you need to talk, you can always email me at sarascott8704@yahoo.com !

Ashley @ KiwisandCocktails said...

I do not have children yet, but I think being a stay at home mom looks like VERY hard work!! I respect and admire SAHM's!!
I loved this post.
I always try to keep my blog real with the ups and downs of real life...but without exposing my family's privacy on the internet, which they do not want. It is hard to balance it sometimes.

Lilly, Matt, and Sara said...

Haha. What I meant to say is that every blog and blog author writes for their own purpose.

Carrie said...

Staying at home is definitely hard...especially emotionally! It can be very draining and zap all your energy...especially with little ones! I used to get upset when my husband would come home from work and not immediately step in and relieve me! I've learned that it's also hard for the husbands too...and they need time to de-stress from work :)

I've mentioned it so often, but I love my MOPS group and it's such a wonderful support for moms...and a place where you can express all your feelings about being a mom and be uplifted in prayer and devotion! Have you thought about joining a group near you?

I think blogging is different for everyone too. I usually just love posting our family pics for our family who we don't see often. And don't usually post too many personal things that are happening...I try to keep some things... personal! ;) I do admire your honesty and think blogging about that allows others to open up as well and relate to what you're experiencing! Take care and enjoy these so precious times at home...it really, really does go way too fast :)

Jennifer said...

Hey sweet girl. I struggle with how much to share too and usually I feel what's right, and when I'm sharing a little too much. Thank goodness for Backspace!! Do what God tells you. And regardless of what it is, you are a HUGE inspiration to me!

Jax said...

I love reading your blog. You have a great "voice" so to speak and I can tell you're so genuine. Continued thoughts and prayers with the stay at home mom transition, etc.. I can guarantee you it will be a rewarding experience like no other from what some of my friends have been through. :)

MissJody said...

Sometimes 'life just gets away from us..'
No biggie.
You have a great heart and wonderful mind. However you put soooo much on yourself.
Your not doing anything wrong by blogging.
{my selfish side likes your blog :)}
But i do hope you find a happy compromise and find happiness period.

Rachel H. said...

I love that song and props to you for taking the time that you need to make sure that everything is where you want it to be in your life! :)

Mary Michal said...

I just love this song. We sang it in church Sunday as well, and for the first time I heard:

Shine your light and let the whole world see...We're singing for the glory of the risen King.

It brought tears to my eyes. I want to spend my life singing for the glory of the risen King. Thanks for sharing your heart. It's always so honest and refreshing.

Katie said...

This is maybe the third time you've mentioned 'other people's' blogs in your post...but, don't worry about other people's blogs. Each and every person writes for their own reason. Just because yours is one way, doesn't mean they all should be that way. We all appreciate your openness and honesty and the way you write. But, just remember before pointing the finger that "to each his own"...and truly, there are 500 reasons for people to blog. They can all be different, and thats the nice thing about it. Besides, if you don't like the way someone writes, you don't ever have to read it and no one has to know. Right? :)

All I'm saying is--focus on yours and what and how you love to write. That's really what matters.

Jen said...

Blogging is for your Lyr! You are an excellent writer & blogland needs people like you who are honest in trials & encouraging all the same.

I agree with another comment-er that each person's blog is different & each purpose behind the blog is different but I LOVE that you are authentic & real & I admire that. I hope my blog reads authentically as well.

KEEP IT UP!
Jen

Trina said...

Please don't stop blogging. I believe God has equipped you to be such an encouragement to other moms and wives.

I love your blog and I've learned alot from you :)

katie + bret said...

You have such a great heart and a lovely way with words - You really do encourage others with your blog, I hope you remember that, always! xx

Annie said...

I always envy SAHM's...but in all actuality, I am not sure if I could really do it. You family is lucky to have you!!

Suzi said...

Hey there! I think this is such an interesting post... I think your honesty about the way you feel about blogging is really refreshing. And I think you are great for being the kind of person that can discuss these personal and intimate things about yourself in such a public forum.

However, I think you need to remember that just as much as your reasons for blogging are important and valid, other people's reasons are just as important and valid too, even if they are polar opposite from yours! Take my blog for instance... I make no bones about the fact that our blog is ALL ABOUT our baby girl. And I do that for my own reasons... the most important of which is that we have lots of family and friends who live far away and don't get to see the day to day changes in our sweet girl. Through our blog, they get to see what is going on as best as I can keep it updated! Additionally, for me personally, I don't like to tackle the big issues on my blog... it isn't a forum where I feel comfortable discussing personal things. I am more of the type of person that wants to sit down over a glass of wine or a cup of coffee with a close friend and "vent" that way. Different strokes...

Having all of that said, I think it is GREAT that you feel differently and make my "blog-roll" a fun thing to run through all the time. I would never judge you for being the type of person who does her blog very different from me and I can't imagine that you would judge me either!

I hope that none of this comes across as confrontational to you... I really do mean it as just another way to look at it!

Suzi said...

I figured you would look at it that way, but you never know how things come across!! I do hope you continue to blog because your blog is so thought provoking for so many people, judging by all the comments left here! I can understand how it is a totally personal decision though :) xoxo

Alicia said...

I love your blog for so many reasons. Your blog is real life, you are brave, and share the good and bad with us. It really makes me think a little deeper sometimes. It is okay that you choose to blog this way and others choose to only share the good. I am sure they have their reasons. That's the great thing about blogging you can write what you like and read what you like. Keep blogging I will miss you. :)

Brittany Ann said...

Your blog is wonderful. Never worry about being too gritty. Your reality is important. And we're hear to read it and love it and support it as your friends:) Blessings!

Because of Love said...

Good post! And I love that song!!!!

Emily said...

I so love that song. I'm glad you are adjusting well to staying at home. I absolutely love staying at home...to me it is just the best way to bring my children up!