Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Finding My Beauty

Take a good look at this painting. When you look at it, who do you relate to the most? Which figure speaks to your heart? Which one bleeds deep into your soul?

This portrait spoke to me more than any other piece of art ever has. When Priscila and my Aunt Kathi were working healing ministry with me, they pulled this out and asked me to really exam the painting and point out which one best described me. I was hesitant and didn’t know what they were trying to accomplish.

Since this ministry was occurring to find some type of healing just after the affair had happened my instinct was to choose the person in the center with all the chains. But as they prayed and I kept looking at the painting, my eyes were drawn to the shadowy face on the bottom left hand side. I hadn’t really noticed it until I gave it more time to really look at the painting and examine my heart. I pointed to that figure and immediately began to sob. Their point in showing me this painting was not to describe how I felt as a result of the affair, but rather to describe how I saw myself as a woman; how I saw myself as a child of God.

I saw myself as a nobody, a shadow along a dark wall that no one seemed to notice or ever really care about (believing it whether it was truth or not). I saw myself as a sad, lonely person that simply went through life without finding any value within me. This painting brought what I was trying to hide to reality and I wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. I didn’t want to be some shadow on a wall. I was made for so much more.

In my goal to really find my true inner beauty, I have been reading “Do You Think I’m Beautiful?” by Angela Thomas. This book has affirmed so much in me and made me realize all the more that my desire to be beautiful and to be longed for is a God given desire. It just seems that I have been searching for it in all the wrong places. I no longer want to be that shadow on the wall, that sad face that seems to go unnoticed by everyone looking in it’s direction. I want to be that women at the top right hand corner of this painting; a free, filled, beautiful woman of God! And I believe I’m getting to that place…

The God who slung the stars across the heavens… the same One who shaped the mountains and the valleys with the tips of His fingers… the God whose very breath gives life… that God, our King, has always been taken with you.

You have been noticed,
He thinks you’re beautiful!
~ Angela Thomas

19 comments:

katie + bret said...

Great post love - And I really like that painting. It's so great to see all the different meanings we all get from each piece of art.

Hi, I'm Susan! said...

such an amazing book! did i give that to you to read? i feel like i did. haha! i can't remember. still, it is so encouraging. she wrote another one after that called "when wallflowers dance." there's so much good solid truth in what she writes and we all need to hear that. love you so much!

Lauren @ Dreams Take Flight said...

That sounds like an amazing book.

Lauren said...

Great post...thanks for opening your heart & sharing so much. I think we all probably relate to different characters at different times in our life..more so than others.

Mrs. McB said...

Great post! Thank you for helping us all realize we are beautiful.

Brittany Ann said...

I need to read that book! Thanks for sharing! How powerful!

Gina said...

That is an awesome painting. I think when I went through my divorce I would have chosen one of the two you talked about but now I feel like I am the person in the back, free! Good for you for self-reflecting.

renee said...

yes, He is taken by you! one of my favorite scriptures..."The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for He is your Lord." ps. 45:11
i've struggled with this concept most of my life. i think too many women feel this way and it's so good when we allow God to put those broken pieces of our hearts back together. thanks for sharing, lyr!

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

That book sounds amazing..and that painting is just awesome. I can relate to so much in that painting and I know that Christ has sooo much to do with me yet!

Thanks for sharing!

Justine said...

Thank you for being so honest and open. It's really inspiring.

Lilly, Matt, and Sara said...

Such a beautiful post--thanks for sharing and I am praying for your journey to be that free, filled, beautiful woman!!

Fields of Gold said...

What a beautiful post! I am touched and so amazed by your honesty.

Eclipsed said...

I was drawn to the hunched over figure to the left. I spent a lot of time looking at this painting and thinking about it. If I'm being honest with myself, I think I was drawn to it because I'm hiding. Hiding from myself. I'm unhappy with the way I look and I don't want anyone to see it, so I hide all of me.

Thanks for your honesty and candor.

Ashley @ KiwisandCocktails said...

At this exact moment I was drawn to the one at the top right, but that could change day to day for me! that book sounds great!
Glad you are getting to that place! :)

Heather said...

What a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing and for being open with us!

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Katie said...

Yes, you are a honest, strong woman. This painting is beautiful. I also love to see paintings of Jesus holding people up.

Kathi Wilson said...

wonderful to hear from your heart, lyr...God is SO good!

for anyone interested in checking out more of priscilla's paintings, please visit:

www.living-water-productions.com

Kathi Wilson said...

wonderful to hear your heart, lyr! God is SO good!

for anyone who would be interested in seeing more of Priscilla's work, please visit our website:

www.living-water-productions.com

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