My common sense tells me it’s imperative to get out of this rut. I know where I’ve been and I don’t want to go back. It’s just about taking that time daily with God and really putting Him first. I always seem to push things back and tell myself I’ll get to it later… but in all reality what I’m doing is just tell God that I just don’t have time for Him today. I have noticed that each day that I seek Him less, each day seems to get harder. By not seeking Him, I’m allowing my guard to come down and am way more susceptible for the enemy to come in and sweep away my joy; and more and more I become prone to believing the brutal lies he whispers.
I know better than to believe these lies. I’ve even had CLASSES to help understand and speak against these lies. But boy-oh-boy does the enemy know just how to get to me! He knows every word to say and every perfect button to push. Speaking directly to my insecurities on the way I look, the way I feel, the way I mother, how I am as a wife, how I keep my home. Even going as far as what my family and friends think about me.
I know that no one is perfect, and we all have our moments of weakness that we all at one time have believe the lies of the enemy. But at times, I feel like I’m the only one. Going in cycles… feeling like this merry-go-round will never end. Is it as simple as just not listening to the lies… I feel like it’s so more complex than that. Even now as I write this I feel dumb. I feel so inadequate as a daughter of the King and as a person in general.
What a rut… I think I just need to go put some worship music on and soak… Consume me from the inside out Lord!
From The Inside Out by Hillsong