Don’t you sometimes wish there were three of you at times? I know I do, especially with a fireball of a three year old running around. It just feels like you never have time for anything, including yourself. In a culture that is mostly “go, go, go” and always about “me, me, me” we sometimes forget that it’s not about having spare time, but slowing down and making time for the ones we love most.
I’m learning that every relationship is work, especially the ones you are fighting to hold on to. But if you want a rich relationship you must realize that at times it may get messy. A frequent struggle in today’s culture is the art of truly being all there. With the technology we now have it can be easy for us to become lazy regarding our closest relationships. A quick text telling someone you miss them or a quick tweet to see how life is going, but is that really being all there? There is something about having a true friend spending time with you face-to-face.
On day three of Love at Last Sight, the Shook’s say something that really made me think. “We all long to know that we’re worth someone’s total attention.” For so long, I thought I was alone!!! Am I that pathetic? Am I that much of an attention hog? I don’t want the world to revolve around me, I just want people to care. And more importantly if I expect that from others then I also need to be giving it as well.
This hit me hard last week when I was on my phone texting a friend. I was in a deep “texting” conversation with her about some marital problems. My mind was in only one place… my phone and there was no taking my eyes off the words that were coming through this device. I guess Jayden had been trying to get my attention and I had not been listening. All of a sudden he pulled a chair into the kitchen where I had been standing, got up on it and said “Mommy, get off your FOAM.” I was so engrossed with what was happening on my phone that I had no idea that he just wanted a little attention. After that I felt quite guilty, I sent a message telling my friend I would call her later and then got tons of blanks and started to build a blanket fort. I knew that would make him happy especially because it was mommy giving him complete attention.
Craving that “attention” or the desire to be noticed or loved is genetically hard-wired in us. Just look at kids, they will show you that it’s something we were designed to need. My son showed it to me last week. Have you ever heard them say, “Look at me mommy” or “Did you see that?” Adults seem to forget that once said those phrases too and the desire to have someone focus in on us doesn’t go away when we get older. We just know how to mask it better. You don’t want people to think that you’re lonely or worse yet that you're needy. You’re an independent woman that doesn’t need anyone any more. At least that’s what society tells us. But that’s why we need to start being ALL THERE for eachother!
Do you think that “being all there” would help your most important relationships? Think about how much closer you would get to the people you love the most. Make more of an effort to be all there this week and let me know how it goes for you.
The biggest reason most of us don’t practice the art of being all there
is that we’re too busy worrying about getting our own needs met.
How can you refocus your vision to see others' needs in spite of your own?