Love and Respect – Chapter One

Our young married couple group has just started this fascinating book called Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson; his concept in so simple, but yet so genius. I was so blown away by just reading the introduction that I couldn’t wait to start the first chapter. You can’t help when reading, but to wonder why it took this book to help you finally FIGURE it out.

Emerson’s theory is called “The Crazy Cycle.” Without love, she reacts - without respect, he reacts; and thus the “cycle” continues! Now, I don’t want to ruin the book for you, because I would highly recommend this book to any married couple; but it was like a light bulb went off in my head. Is that all it takes, just a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T? Is that all he needs to show me he loves me and thinks I’m special? Can it really be that easy?

We have only read the first chapter, but that concept alone can change a marriage. It has already made me aware of the way I talk to Jesse. It makes you really examine how you treat your husband and how it makes him feel when you don’t respect him. God calls wives to respect their husband as God commands husbands to love their wives; but when a wife does not feel loved she reacts in disrespect to her husband and vise-versa. What Emerson is asking us to do is stop that cycle and watch how the love and respect comes back into your marriage. Like I said… genius!

I would probable have to say that I am one of the biggest offenders when it comes to this crazy cycle. I can’t even count all the times I have disrespected Jesse and at times I didn’t even know I was doing it. Wow, just a little self control and some help from my loving God, I think this book might help us finally come out of this “crazy cycle.”

Though the book was very enlightening, there were thing I did not totally agree with, or at least for the time being “respect.” The book talks about an unconditional respect. For me, this is where the book really made me think and was especially tough. Right now, I just can’t understand that. My mind was suddenly flooded with so many questions about unconditional respect and in the workbook; I think I changed my answers like six times. Maybe a year ago I would have said yes, and I know in my heart that it is what God calls us as wives to do, but then how? I guess those answers will come with a little healing, growing together as we read this book as a couple and learning to love and respect one another.

Needless to say, after reading just one chapter I desperately want to go to the conference in March!