Thursday, July 16, 2009

Sometimes… I Just Don't Understand

I find myself annoyed and somewhat baffled at how some people can call you friend, yet show very little interest in you. Maybe it’s my own fault for thinking too highly of people or thinking of them as closer to me than they really imagine our friendship to be. I just assume that if we have been through a lot and spent a lot of time together, than our friendship really meant something. I guess I’m naive. I guess life REALLY doesn’t work like that.

It just sucks to know that you have tried to reach out, offer things, made yourself available but you just aren’t important enough for them to do the same back to you. It stings… it hurts… its utter rejection; it just makes me want to cry and everything inside me just wishes I didn’t care. Maybe this is God’s way of teaching me to be more open with other people, to show a side of myself that others might see in me and that I need to change. I can see how I might come off that way at times, but I don’t want to be like that anymore because I know how much it hurts.

Ha… I find myself ridiculous and quite childish right now… maybe even a little ashamed. I can see how this is then enemy hitting me right where it hurts. He is playing on my low self esteem and every ounce of my human insecurities and recent pains.

I know I’m bigger than this… but sometimes I think it’s ok to just say it SUCKS when people don’t really care as much as you thought they did! A rough part of reality just sunk in.

10 comments:

Jenna said...

God is teaching me a lot about this same sort of thing. He's showing me that I need to be satisfied in Him because He will NEVER disappoint me or let me down. Seek Him with all your heart, spend time with Him every day, and let Him satisfy your heart. I'm trying to do all of this myself, so as I pray for this in my life I will remember to pray it for you as well. Have a good day my blog friend! :)

The Reigner's said...

I'm right there with you, and you're right, it does suck...big time! Friendships go both ways, but people tend to forget that...

Leigh said...

You have every right to say it SUCKS because it does. Rejection in any form hurts a lot, it just does. But anyone in your life that doesn't have the wisdom to see what a great friend and person you are isn't worth your time anyway.

Hope you feel better soon!

Mrs. McB said...

This is an amazingly difficult lesson to learn. I have had to learn it several times and it never gets easy. You never know when someone you originally thought cared begins to show they rely on you to keep the friendship going.

Jessica said...

It does truly suck when that reality sets in. It sounds like you are a lot like me. You want to see the good in everyone and figure if you feel that way, they do too. It's sad when you find out otherwise.
Good luck with this "dilemma".

Kait said...

I have to agree! It sucks when friendship is a one way street :( I have had to learn that lesson over and over the past few years! Hugs to you!

Tellie said...

Oh yes, I have come to this conclusion many times in regards to various friendships and it does suck.

Sometimes I wonder if it's me dwelling on the past too much, and maybe I need to learn to move on from those past relationships.

Hope this feeling passes soon!

Katie said...

It seems like all too often, this is the way it is! It's hard to find "true friends". I still believe quality is better than quantity, and I couldn't agree more with Jenna that God is our one true friend who will never let us down!

RCaitlin said...

I know how you feel! It does suck! It just seems like so many girls these days just use other girls and are not there for you when you need them. So sorry you're feeling down...but that person wasn't worth it if they didn't appreciate you!

Kameron said...

I have a hard time and struggle with the same types of feelings. I have very few true friends, 5 to be exact, and when I try to reach out and make more, I always feel like I am putting myslef out there and getting little in return. It hurts a lot, but I guess if I stop trying I might miss out on the 1 or 2 that are worth my effort!