Facebook Addiction

Hi.
My name is Lyryn.
And I'm and addict.
My drug of choice...
Facebook.

Yesterday I was on (yes you guessed it...) Facebook and an old friend from high school posted this link to an article from Relevant Magazine that brought conviction over me like God Himself was whacking me in the head. This article entitled Is Facebook Killing Our Soul?, written by Shane Hipps; confirmed even more in my spirit what God has been telling all along and to kick this terrible habit called Facebook.

I must say that THIS is not my proudest moment. Who in the world ever admits to being addicted to a social networking site? Not anyone I know... But unfortunately this is a problem I
can't seem to run away from. It's controlling. I allow it to be controlling. Much like pornography can be for many men. It sucks you in, chews you up and then spits out a word vomit of lies. Then you do everything you can to step away from it, but because of it's intrigue you willingly go back. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Facebook is pornography in anyway. (I can hear the Facebook Lover lynch mob coming for me now) I'm just saying that Facebook (for ME) is like that addiction/cycle that just keeps me from getting to a place I need to be emotionally and spiritually.

I recently have been very aware about how Facebook has been effecting me. And for someone who already has self esteem and acceptance issues... Facebook only makes me that much more self conscious, emotional and flat out bi-polar. What's worse... is that those same emotions reflects right back into my status updates.

Lookout, crazy girl on the loose!

I find myself checking my phone frequently to see who posted a new status. Who's on, What my friends are up too, did anyone comment on my status, etc. I'm finding that I care too much about what people say or as is often the case... don't say.

Pathetic? I know... trust me, I know. At this very moment there is a HUGE arrow over my head, pointing down with the words "lunatic" in bright bold colors. I feel stupid even saying it, writing it. I mean, indulge a lunatic and think about you for a second. Have you ever found yourself being really excited to post a status because you thought it was funny and you would get lots of comments? Have you ever been disappointed that no one commented on a status/picture/link that you thought was "comment" worthy? Have you ever been sad or felt left out of something because a friend posts about being out with another mutual friend? I. Could. Go. ON... but i won't.

In all this insanity, I am aware that most of this is lies from the enemy telling me that I will never measure up, be loved enough, be smart enough or ever be able to keep a lasting relationship with anyone because I'm just too emotional and hyper sensitive. Yep... all that.

But I also know that my God can do anything. I know that at this season in my life He is humbling me and teaching me how to "properly" measure up to who God wants me to be. Teaching me that love is unconditional and no matter what He will always love me. Reaffirming me that there is an intelligent writer within me that has something valuable to say. Reminding me that I need to find my fulfillment and comfort in Him, not the temporary affirmation I feel from a comment or blog posting. Maybe I should start a Hisbook web page where we post prayers... I don't know, something to rekindle the relationship that many of have lost in all these layers of electronic connections.

I mean, think about all I could be doing during that time while I'm checking Facebook. There are so many different things that could occupy my time, spur on growth and cultivate relationships with the people I have Facetime with. I feel like I need to reiterate that I am not encouraging a boycott on Facebook, but at this stage in my life and growth I feel like it is a stumbling block, something that is reinforcing my struggles and diminishing my strengths.

Have you ever gotten lost in the intrigue of relationships that you find on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter or any other social networking forum?