Thursday, October 28, 2010

Finding My Creative Outlet

These past few months I have been trying really hard to find who I am and what truly makes me happy. Don't misunderstand me, I LOVE being a mom and I love being home with my kids, but sometimes as a mom you find yourself losing who you are in the day-to-day things. My identity is slowly turning into how good or how bad of a mom I am. And most of the time... I don't give myself enough credit. I'm my own worst enemy.

I feel like that girl that is always mediocre. I'm not terrible, but knows there's always someone who is more creative, a better writer, more artistic, or anything... I'm... just... plain Jane. I want to find something that I'M good at, find something that makes ME... me. I know that nothing I do will really satisfy this longing. Only Jesus can do that for me. But there are things that make me happy that I just do peruse hard enough. Things that I feel that I am good at and can always get better at and really show my true self and talent.

I said in one of my facebook status' about a week back, that when I grow up I want to be a photographer and a cake decorator. Well, they are defiantly two things that make me happy no matter what (besides my kids and my husband). I feel like those two things, (though there ARE people better than I) are things I'm really good at. I feel like its an outlet that not only helps me be me, but also something I can succeed at and see myself loving it forever. Everyone wants to be happy, right?

So, my goal for November is to (1.) shoot lots and lots of photos this month. I have two new AMAZING lenses that I just got that I'm already in love with. And I have my very first wedding this coming Saturday that I'm super excited about. So I can't wait to see what comes out of that! I have also been tossing around (in my head) doing some sort of monthly photo challenge on my blog. I've done this before but only a few people played so I'm not sure how great that would be... but I am still thinking about it.

And (2.) Make and decorate a cake each week. After Jayden's birthday cake, I have had a million ideas and have been itching to do another cake. So this week I decided to make a Halloween cake! I'm not into ghouls and goblins... so I just made this simple black and orange cake. It looks like my mom's office, so I know someone will like it! Haha! This is what I made...So now I have 4 more weeks of making cakes and I need some ideas. I have got the first two weeks covered. Next week I am going to be making this super cute owl cake. The next week I am going to be making a cake for my BFF who is hosting a party and I have SUCH a great idea for that one... But then I'm stuck... so suggestions are welcome. :)

I think I will really find my creative outlet doing these two things. Again, there will always be somebody better and someone more talented, but maybe, just maybe I can bring something to the table no one has thought about yet. Who knows.

I know God has a plan and a purpose for me, but I need to find peace in just resting in His arms. I must remind myself that I am special, I am creative, I am talented and gosh darn-it if no one else likes me or my work, I know that my Father in heaven is still proud of me for giving it a try. And that's always a good first step in the right direction.

So tell me, whats your creative outlet...


Jocelyn said...

I sometimes feel the exact same way...I have so many interests but trying to figure out which ones make me the most happy or the most calm is sometimes difficult. Good luck with your cakes...I can't wait to see the owl one:-)

Renae said...

Oh Lyryn you are anything BUT plain Jane! I am so envious of your photography and cake decorating skills! Not to mention that you are an awesome momma/wife/sister/friend!!!

So what new lens did you get?

Also, what kind of portrait lens do you have? I'm asking for one for Christmas, and I'm leaning towards the 50mm f1.8, but I'm trying to get suggestions from others. Thanks!

Mrs. A said...

For cake ideas check out there are a ton of galleries to peruse.

Hi, I'm Susan! said...

i'm so proud of you! this post is awesome and it's so amazing seeing you so passionate about the things you love to do. you are so creative and talented and what God has gifted you with is uniquely YOURS! can't wait to see this unfold!

and of course you know i love being creative as well but more in the sewing, making things area. :)

Becca said...

I feel that exact some way but I always hear my dad saying to me that we are our own worst critics! You cakes {especially LOVE that one} and photos are amazing!

Sarah said...

Both of these area's your AMAZING at...don't ever doubt yourself!!! Also with creativity...a lot of people may have the same interest...but different perspective...which makes it your very own unique style ;-)

Katie said...

We've been talking about this same concept in church lately! just finding what fulfills you and fills your cup! love it.

the things that fill my cup are being outside, breathing in fresh air, watching Em experience new things, and taking photos of her...oh, and I like being crafty too, obviously :)

LucieP said...

hello my little love bug. I hate feeling like you are right now! It sounds like your creative outlets are good starts though! Your cakes are awesome. Your pictures are awesome. Love it!
I know we talked a long time ago about you liking midwifery. Maybe you could volunteer at an emergency pregnancy place- obviously not the same but its still somewhere that you would be really good at helping!
I admire the ladies the stay home with their babes. I have come to terms with the fact that I am not cut out for that. It doesn't make me a bad mom but in turn, I have to do what makes me happy so that I can be a good mom!

Can't wait to see pics of your cakes!!!

Poet's Pizza said...

Your blog is creative and colorful. Your story reads like you are on a train and you are describing what you see out the window. You are on the right train even if you don't know the destination. Best wishes on your trip.

Cassie said...

I think most people struggle with the same thing. We all want to be fufilled and I think you're on the rigt track! Keep up the photography and cake decorating :)

Ideas for about a fall themed cake? Maybe lots of reds, oranges, browns with some leaves or something?

Hilary Lane said...

That cake is awesome!! I've been having the same mediocre feelings lately. I'd really like to make some extra money during the holidays trough my Etsy shop, but I feel like everything I can do, someone else can do ten times better!