As easily as God can open one door and then close another in your life; we can choose to ignore His leading. This can allow Satan to sneak a trap door below your feet without you ever knowing it was even there and sending you plummeting to your demise. Most of us have faced these trap doors in our lifetime, often we tend to face them more when our focus has shifted away from God and more on finding ways to fulfill our selfish needs. I can clearly remember that God was not center of our home. I can remember how wrapped up I was in being a new mom and having my perfect little life together. Unfortunately, that is also the time when we were most vulnerable for lies and bitterness to take root.
The first few ingredients were added by me. One new mommy, basted in depression blending it with being completely overwhelmed; finishing it off with a dicey, insecure wife. Jesse and I had just had our first child. Our world had changed in a matter of moments. I was a new mommy and I thought I had everything under control or at least I wanted to act like I did. I silently struggled with postpartum depression because to admit that I was depressed meant I was not fit to be a mother. I did not want to appear weak. I did not want to look as bad as I felt. I attempted to fight this battle on my own, which in hindsight ended up setting the stage for more pain than I could have even imagined.
Add in a dash of self pity and an undiagnosed bi-polar husband. Now things were starting to get messy. Jesse, unhappy with his life direction and wanting to do more with his talents, started giving up. Dissatisfied with me and questioning every decision he ever made was just making him more and more angry with life and who he had become. He began to feel stuck, trapped, like his life meant nothing. He was no longer speaking to me, so he had to vent somewhere. Work and co-workers were just the place for that.
Before stirring, import a chick from half-way across the country. Then let the loneliness of her husband being overseas simmer for a month or so. Can you see the steam rising on this one? Lauren (her name has been changed to respect her privacy) was new to town and started a job where both my husband and I worked. Knowing only a handful of people must have been hard. I could understand and I had compassion for her.
I started inviting her to bible study so she could get to know people. I even asked her to hang out once or twice. After a month or so she stopped wanting to come to bible study. She even stopped talking to me. Something wasn’t right; my “wife radar” was up and in high alert. But even though I had suspicions, I just didn’t want to believe she was capable of anything like that. She really was/is a sweet person, married, and a Christian woman who grew up in an amazing family. I just didn’t want to believe it. I didn't want to believe my husband could either! But in the depths of my soul… something told me I was right.
Bake in some insecurities that had been stewing all my life and sprinkle on a touch of bitter root expectation. You, my friend, will have yourself the best daytime drama in HISTORY. I guess all that would be true if this whole thing was fiction, but unfortunately lives were changed because of this crazy concoction. In no way am I making an excuse for what would then lead to something even more. I’m just saying that the devil will always find a way to make even the most unlikely ingredients work together to make a complete and utter disaster.
This is why I think that we need to be praying for our marriages and our families daily. When we’re not focused on the Lord we are less prepared to handle what the enemy has in store for us because he is always out to steal, kill and destroy. The Word says, “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” Eph 6:13
Let us take our families back! Husbands and wives pray together, pray for the protection over your home daily. The enemy has no right to make trouble there. We must always be on guard because anything could set in motion the perfect ingredients for Disaster.
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