Love is amazing. It has the power to fill you up and complete you. It has a way of making your bad days sometimes disappear. Love brings joy to your life and makes you feel needed and accepted. Love is an adventure that keeps you on your toes. Love is life-giving and breathes destiny. Love is a wonderful thing to have and never something to be taken for granted.
Love also isn't always as simple as books and movies like to show you. Love doesn't always mean you'll have your picture-perfect family or that you'll get everything you ever wanted in life. Love takes sacrifice and a laying down of your pride. Love can leave you in tears because, those closest to you can cut you the deepest. Love isn't always as easy as we think.
I think we can sometimes forget that there are hard parts to love as well. I believe it's only human nature for us to not want to think about what bad times may come our way, when we are all "young and in love." Who wants to think about stumbling blocks in a marriage when you are planning your wedding?! I sure didn't. If anything I wanted to make sure I looked like I was more in love than ever so people wouldn't be asking me "are you sure you are ready to get married?"
Note - I'm not saying everyone thinks this way or went into marriage blindly. I know that there are people who went into marriage knowing what they were getting themselves into. Knowing that some days will be good and some might be bad. That's awesome if you had everything in perspective when you got married. I'm just talking about things we might forget sometimes, even people who have been married for years with an awesome marriage. Am I the only one who wants to not think about life being hard?
Though I thought we had things figured out, I knew things wouldn't always be picture perfect in our marriage. I had a hard time "dying to myself" when it came to loving Jesse. I still struggle with being selfish when it comes to our marriage. It's something God continues to work on with me daily. We don't always see eye to eye, like the fact that I don't fold his clothes a certain way and I'm pretty sure I never will. Things that ALL couples will go through in their marriage at some period in time.
However, I never thought I would ever get to a point in my marriage when I wished that I didn't love Jesse anymore. I can remember telling my mom soon after the affair came out, how much I wished I didn't love Jesse anymore. How much easier it would be to just let him go and get over all the hurt he just put me through. How I wished at that time that love just didn't exist in my heart for him.
Even though I desperately wanted the pain to go away I knew it wasn't possible. The reason my heart was broken was because I DID love him so much and the love I had for him had a knife plunged through the center of it. It was hard to handle and very painful to clean up, but that same love (along with the heavenly Father) is also what put us back together.
This past March one of my favorite artists, Francesca Battistelli, came out with her new CD "Hundred More Years." On this CD is an amazing song called Worth it. This song spoke to my spirit in an instant. It was so refreshing to hear the two sides to love. The love that captivates you and the love that can bring you to tears.
I loved it so much that I even sent this song to a few close blog friends of mine that I knew could really feel comfort by the words she sang. I mean... Heck, I EVEN needed to hear it daily towards the end of the series we just finished! I believe we all need reminding that though love is not always easy, it is completely worth it!
Though I fully believe Jesse and I are on our way to our happily ever after; we are still young and figuring out this little thing called love and marriage. I believe that we will be learning until the day we die. Learning that each day brings joy, but there can be unexpected days of sadness and disappointment.
Does it mean that we love one another less? No, it just means we are going through the growing pains of love. And for us... that's completely worth it.