Monday, June 6, 2011

Love's Not Easy, But It's Worth It

I hate to admit it, but I really think I was one of those girls who thought it would be easy being married to the love of my life.  We had been together since we were fifteen.  I knew Jesse inside and out and I had seen him at his worst.  My 21 year old self (I do NOT regret getting married young) thought this would just be a fun, new adventure in our "happily ever after" life.  I was in love with him... there wasn't anything else we needed other than love, right?!

Love is amazing.  It has the power to fill you up and complete you.  It has a way of making your bad days sometimes disappear.  Love brings joy to your life and makes you feel needed and accepted.  Love is an adventure that keeps you on your toes.  Love is life-giving and breathes destiny.  Love is a wonderful thing to have and never something to be taken for granted.

Love also isn't always as simple as books and movies like to show you.  Love doesn't always mean you'll have your picture-perfect family or that you'll get everything you ever wanted in life.  Love takes sacrifice and a laying down of your pride.  Love can leave you in tears because, those closest to you can cut you the deepest.  Love isn't always as easy as we think.

I think we can sometimes forget that there are hard parts to love as well.  I believe it's only human nature for us to not want to think about what bad times may come our way, when we are all "young and in love." Who wants to think about stumbling blocks in a marriage when you are planning your wedding?!  I sure didn't. If anything I wanted to make sure I looked like I was more in love than ever so people wouldn't be asking me "are you sure you are ready to get married?" 

Note - I'm not saying everyone thinks this way or went into marriage blindly.  I know that there are people who went into marriage knowing what they were getting themselves into.  Knowing that some days will be good and some might be bad.  That's awesome if you had everything in perspective when you got married.  I'm just talking about things we might forget sometimes, even people who have been married for years with an awesome marriage.  Am I the only one who wants to not think about life being hard? 

Though I thought we had things figured out, I knew things wouldn't always be picture perfect in our marriage. I had a hard time "dying to myself" when it came to loving Jesse.  I still struggle with being selfish when it comes to our marriage.  It's something God continues to work on with me daily.   We don't always see eye to eye, like the fact that I don't fold his clothes a certain way and I'm pretty sure I never will.  Things that ALL couples will go through in their marriage at some period in time. 

However, I never thought I would ever get to a point in my marriage when I wished that I didn't love Jesse anymore.  I can remember telling my mom soon after the affair came out, how much I wished I didn't love Jesse anymore. How much easier it would be to just let him go and get over all the hurt he just put me through.  How I wished at that time that love just didn't exist in my heart for him.

Even though I desperately wanted the pain to go away I knew it wasn't possible.  The reason my heart was broken was because I DID love him so much and the love I had for him had a knife plunged through the center of it.  It was hard to handle and very painful to clean up, but that same love (along with the heavenly Father) is also what put us back together. 

This past March one of my favorite artists, Francesca Battistelli, came out with her new CD "Hundred More Years."  On this CD is an amazing song called Worth it.  This song spoke to my spirit in an instant.  It was so refreshing to hear the two sides to love.  The love that captivates you and the love that can bring you to tears.

I loved it so much that I even sent this song to a few close blog friends of mine that I knew could really feel comfort by the words she sang. I mean... Heck, I  EVEN needed to hear it daily towards the end of the series we just finished!  I believe we all need reminding that though love is not always easy, it is completely worth it

Though I fully believe Jesse and I are on our way to our happily ever after; we are still young and figuring out this little thing called love and marriage.  I believe that we will be learning until the day we die.  Learning that each day brings joy, but there can be unexpected days of sadness and disappointment.

Does it mean that we love one another less?  No, it just means we are going through the growing pains of love.  And for us... that's completely worth it. 


Mrs. Mama said...

What a beautiful song. It really touched me. As did your post. Beautifully written. Love isn't easy.... but it sure is worth it. I learn that on a daily basis. Thank you for sharing this post.

Whity Wife said...

When we were going through our premarital counceling Iknew that marriage was going to take work and sacrifice- but i did not understand how much or how to do it! 1 year in, and we still have so much to learn! :)

I can completely relate to the feeling around the time of getting married (I too was married at 21)

But everything we have been though in the past year has been so worth the work!

great post, thanks for sharing!

Jill said...

what a beautiful and honest post!!

Lauren said...

Beautiful post...I know things are bound to get difficult with bringing our first child into this prayer is for God to constantly remind me of the "little things" and the big things that make our love so worth it!

D @ The best things in life said...

Great post! So happy I found your blog, truly inspiring!

Cara Linn said...

Lyr- I am so thankful for the honesty in your posts about marriage. I'm getting married on Saturday and while I am excited, it's so refreshing to have a little dose of reality to keep me grounded. Thanks again!

Kelly said...

I love your honesty! Life has it ups and downs and marriage rides the same 'roller coaster.' I have been married for 6 1/2 years and it has all been worth it, but it has its highs and lows. Love can conquer all and it is all worth it. :)

Melanie @ Smiley Melly said...

Thank you so much for this honest post. I love reading your posts because I can just sense your true desire to grow in love everyday. It inspires me and makes me want to be better.

Noe said...

Amazing post! Prayers send your way.
I wish I could say the same to my 'falling apart' relationship.
God Bless you and your Family!

Tracy-Girl @ Then I Got To Thinking said...

Hi there! I just found your blog, and I love it!

I feel the same way - and I loved this post. I was married young (22 - and I don't regret it either) and I thought it was going to be pretty smooth. I had expectations that there were going to be tough times, but you never really know how marriage is going to fit a couple until they're married. I am still so happy and crazy in love - but I am getting nervous about starting a family. We don't have kids yet, but we are planning to have them and I always get nervous thinking about how we will be as not only Husband and Wife, but Mom & Dad!

Alicia said...

You have wisdom beyond your years, my friend!

I want to share a quote that I had on my FB status!

"A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." ~Ruth Bell Graham (wife of Billy Graham)

Anonymous said...

Loved this post. It really spoke to my heart. You have such wisdom and are so encouraging. Thanks for being brave enough to tell the truth the books and movies don't tell.

Tonja said...

Gettin caught up here on commenting. lol

That was a wonderful post. Love is not easy at all. It really is hard work. I never would have imagined that when I first got married. But you know everything we do for love is so worth it!