This Rock

I have found that even a safe and sturdy rock can sometimes crack. It’s a small crack, but as little pieces of it start to slowly crumble from underneath my feet, I can't help but feel panicked as I franticly try to find other life lines I can hold onto. Is this crack my fault? Was it smart for me to stay here in this place so long? Should I have left with the others?

I have put my faith, love, drive and sweat into this rock. I have cared for it, fought for it, defended it and have even been hated for it. I believe in this rock. I believed it would take care of me; it HAS taken care of me and blessed me. I'm doing everything I can to have this rock not hurt me; or am I? I have built my household upon this rock and not only have I come a long way, but so has the rock! It has stood the test of time, even when others said it would fall. It has seen its share of sadness; weathered its own storms; has been built upon and has seen growth because there is favor from God. It's a great rock; but with all things, it is still vulnerable to breaking.

Is this just God's way of saying to move on; or is there something more He is trying to tell me? I know that He is testing me again. But sometimes it's so hard to have faith that He will take care of all things, just as long as I trust Him. Is this me not trusting Him again? I have also found that - The bigger the bolder, the more pain it will cause when it comes crashing down on you. I’m in a state of confusion and I'm not sure where to find a good footing. I know there is a reason I know there’s a way. At this point... I'm just holding on for dear life, hoping it all won’t crash too quickly on me.

When all hope seemed lost, I trusted God... why do I not trust Him now? Is it because I'm comfortable? I never liked being "comfortable" when it came to my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I don’t think you should ever be “comfortable”... it's make you more vulnerable to the enemy. Is this what you are trying to teach me? Lord, where do I go from here? Can this crack be repaired or is it time for me to really move from this spot?

I trust you... help me find the way!

Where's My Focus?

I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Was it my pride; was it a sense of achievement? My hopes of helping other people, by sharing the heartache I had walked through has only seemed to cause more heartache at times. My mind plays tricks on me and I start to feel inadequate. Is this who I really am? Is this who I really want to be? I thought I had done a good thing, I thought I had been honest; why are these feeling still controlling me?

My Aunt gave me this verse - Revelation 12:11, it says that one of the ways we overcome the enemy is by the word of our testimony. She is right, but the enemy can also attack you in other ways and sometimes come against you even stronger when you do share that testimony. Or is it more… is it more complex than even this?

To be honest, I’m disappointed and I’m incredibly frustrated with myself. My focus has changed, I have gotten carried away and in the process I’ve lost sight of why I started writing in the first place. It’s not about me; it’s not about who my friends are or who might even wants to hear my story. It’s about my God and how faithful He has been to have brought me and my family this far.

When I started writing this blog, my intentions were different. My heart was to share with others what God was teaching me; not only as a wife and mother but a Godly woman. This was a place where I could come and freely, write what the Lord was telling me; a safe place where He would talk to me and show me new insight into who He wanted me to be.

I was more real then, I wrote about real life in all its forms; just a girl trying to be honest and skip all the superficial appearances of a perfect life. I wanted to be different; I wanted to show that life wasn’t just a cookie cutter dream world. I felt alone, I felt like everyone else had their life put together but me. I know that no one really knows what’s going on behind closed doors, but sometimes blogs can be deceiving.

Maybe this is the root of all this attack. My focus has changed. I want to be that girl again who writes from the heart and seeks God for each and every word typed. I’m still here, that oh-so imperfect wife and mother that cried out to God daily to bring new life and restoration to her family. Faithfully, you did!

I know I have been missing something. My focus has been less about Jesus and more about me. I don’t want my blog to be about how cool my layout looks or how many followers I have. I want it to be about real life and how God is making it better. Making motherhood, marriage and life as a whole better, because that is what He has done and is doing.

What has your blog been about lately?

Reminder: Don’t forget about the GIVEAWAY!
Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears."

Have You Seen Me?!

When I’m on the road, people know! As people pass me, they tend to look into my window with a confused looked on their face wondering who that woman is. Some people honk; some people wave; then there’s other people who will text me out of nowhere; there's also a hand full of people who just facebook me, letting me know they passed me or I passed them.

Why such popularity on the road, you ask? I know what most of you are thinking… and no, it’s not because I’m a terrible driver, although my husband would probably tell you otherwise. It’s because of my crazy awesome license plate that lets you know that I'm driving! I mean… lets face it… have you ever heard the name Lyryn? I’m quite certain that there aren’t many Lyryns in this world and I’m pretty sure there aren’t any in Pennsylvania! (Feel free to challenge me on that)

In the past week I have been told by three different people (all from high school) that they either passed me or I passed them while driving. It’s funny… because they start by telling me that they weren’t sure that it was me, but saw the license plate and again, what other Lyryn do you know? You can’t see, but I’m rolling my eyes, people!

Side Note Comment: Have you ever heard the name Lyryn before?! My whole life I was challenged by other people that they knew Lyryns; but could never get me in contact with them. I never liked my name… but I always took pride in the fact that I was pretty much the only one. In all my research, I pretty much have come to the conclusion that name is quite unique.

I dare you… go ahead, Google my name. The only person you will find other than an anime character and a girl on facebook (whose birth name WAS NOT LYRYN) is ME! :) I mean, with a name like Lyryn (I bet you can’t even pronounce it and if you're now wondering it's Lear-in) I deserve to have some type of bragging rights, don’t I?! Look I don’t doubt that there aren’t any out there, but if you do know another Lyryn I would love to know how they got their name!

Anyway, I know that most of you who read this blog aren’t even in PA and will probably never see me on the road. However, if you are driving down 95 on August 15th anywhere between PA and North Carolina and see a red jeep with a license plate that says LYRYN feel free to honk, wave or if you feel so led you can give me one of those funny little stares because you will have passed the only “Lyryn”, the only one I know of at least! ;)

Silent Sunday's - Explanation

So, I know a lot of you are wondering about my Silent Sunday photo from yesterday. Yea… maybe it wasn’t exactly the best photo to post without an explanation… but I really like it, and it sums up my week in an instant. :)

About a month ago, I went to the dermatologist to have this mole on my back looked at because my family (mom) had been bugging me about it for over a year to have it checked out. You may remember my “Shot in the Back” post, where it bled through my nice white shirt when they did the first removal. Turned out the mole was precancerous and after the first scrap; I had to come back in and get all the skin from around that area removed.

All in all, things are fine. There hasn’t been a ton of pain… I think that worst part of the healing process has got to be the itching. It doesn’t really hurt unless I hit it by mistake when I itch the sucker. If I scratch it… that’s when it hurts!!

The mole was not nearly as big as the stitches make it look to be. Below I have a picture of my back from my brother and sister-in-love’s wedding. I think after seeing the pictures of how black it was… it made me want to get it removed.


So there you have it… my explanation of my Silent Sunday. I also think its pretty cool that I freaking awesome scar on my back! I’m not sure why I like scars so much… maybe because they tell a story of your life. Or… maybe I’m just weird.

Another Soccer Season

It’s another soccer season for Jesse and this year all his games are at 7 instead of 10pm! This makes it a heck of a lot easier for me to watch him play and Jayden gets to come and watch his daddy play.

I bring my camera along, but I find myself taking more pictures of Jayden then daddy playing soccer. :) Here are a few from last Thursday!

The perfect date for a Mommy and Daddy... Dinner, Movie then Sleeping In!

This past weekend, Jesse and I had a night to ourselves on Saturday night. Just me and him, some well needed quality "time-spent" together! Grandma and Grandpa Yacoe was super amazing to take Jayden for the night and give us hubby and wife time. I was so excited, not only to have a night out with my hubby, but I was pretty darn excited about sleeping in the next morning! All you mom's out there have got to know what I'm talking about, right?!?! For me, I always ask myself what time Jayden is going to get up; but this time. I didn't even think about. It was so sweet!

Well, we started our evening out meeting some family and friends and Hibachi's for dinner. We were celebrating my brother, Brent's 25th Birthday. It was nice. We pretty much had our own private room, but the best part was that we got the WHITE guy as our chef! I like to think that I requested him because as we were being seated I was make a fuss about him. Now, if you have never been to a Hibachi's it's a Japanese Steak House where they cook the meal right in front of you. Most of the time you have a Japanese chef, but Downingtown has a amazing white chef who is hysterical! So worth the money! It was a fun place with good friends, good eats, and good times!

Jess and I then went to see "I love you, Man." Very cute, but I'll let my husband tell you about that one. See his review of the movie on his blog.

So that pretty much was our night out on the town.
Not fancy at all, but just right for him and I.
I do have to say though I loved sleeping in...
I still missed Jayden. I couldn't image my life without him.

Oh yea, and we got to sleep until 10am on Sunday!!! Woo-Hoo!!! What a weekend!

Breaking Through

Believing I can make it, even when there feels like no hope
Relying on the Father, even though I felt so alone
Enjoying the little blessing, even when I wanted to cry
Acknowledging there must be change in me, even when I felt I did nothing wrong
Kneeling daily at the foot of the cross, even when I didn't have the strength
Igniting new passions that I never knew I had
Never stopped loving, even when I felt there was no more love to give
Giving glory to God, when he would point me in the all the right directions


Talking to my God, even when I wanted to scream
Holding on tightly to my daddy's hand, even when I wanted leave and never come back
Realizing how Jesus speaks to me, even though I didn't want to listen
Obliterating all the lies in my life, even though I have believed them for so long
Uncovering what has been holding me back, even though I feel safe in that place
Giving all of me, when I wanted to be so selfish
Hoping for brighter days, even during the most terrible times of my life

That my friends, is me Breaking Through …

A Date Not to Remember

Though I prayed for peace the night before, that wasn’t going to stop the enemy from trying. I woke up with this heaviness on my chest and deep sense of fear. A restlessness of all the “what if's… how come's …and why me’s.” Every one of those thoughts passed through my head as my feet touched the floor. I had been dreading this day, a day that holds no significance but to only a few. I prayed this would be a quick day, but what few understand is that this is only the beginning. For the next few months I will be reminded of things that were said and thing that were done. Specific dates and times that will triggers memories and remind me of the pain my heart went through. Is there something wrong with me? Is this pure foolishness?

Walking slowly to the bathroom trying not to wake my little one, a tear rolled down my cheek. Has it already been a year? I feel like it was just yesterday. Today is a reminder of one little decision that would completely change lives forever. A step of pure selfishness in its most naked form. Am I the only one that is reminded of what today could have meant? Or is this just the pain that hasn't gone away for me, just yet?

With my head in my hands, only one little word could escape from my lips "Jesus!" Just a whisper, that's all it took to hear my savior answer back. As I sat in a ball next to the tub, I felt a warm breeze come over me.
Some might say it was my heat turning on, but I know better. As I sat in silence, I imaged my heavenly daddy holding me like a little girl who just scraped her knee. He took my hand and placed it on my heart and said, “Lyryn, are you going to let the enemy win today?”

The only thing I could muster back was a squeaky little “No,” but in my heart, I was screaming it! I got to me feel with little grace, but much authority and a fist full of righteous anger; I quietly proclaimed that Satan had no authority over my thoughts and no authority in my home. I was determined for him not win anything today. I quickly got ready, kissed my husband goodbye and headed off to the last placed I wanted to be today.

I can tell you that the enemy sure did try his best; but Gods grace was saturating me today. There was times where memories flooded my thoughts and there were places that were off limits. But I know that God is doing something big in these next few months. I know healing is coming, and these fears and hurts are slowing going to fade. Though there are people out there that think I should be way passed this…
I know I’m healing at just the right rate. My heart still has so many unanswered questions and still so many hurts, but in time healing will come.

This year will be different. :)

Such a Waste of Time...

I feel like my days have been so busy I don’t even have time to do what I love. Writing and photography are both something that drive me, encourage me and gives me an outlet to my everyday problems in life. It gives me a new perspective when I thought there weren’t any more perspectives to be seen. They give me a sense of individuality that until this year, I didn’t even think I had. But recently, my drive to do anything has gone from hyper mode to a slow snail like crawl. So, I guess I should stop lying to myself that I’m to busy and admit that it’s a lack of motivation on my part.

My writing has become dual; when I’m not writing about the “Woe is me” part of life; my mind seems to be blank and unresponsive to thinking creatively in any way. There are millions of things to write about, but for the life of me, I can’t think of one intelligent thing to write. I seem to write a heck of a lot better when Gods in control, the sad part is that I haven’t been giving him the opportunity.

And my photography, it has been pushed to the side. Most of the photos I’ve taken this month have been sitting in my camera just waiting for me to get my hands on them and create something amazing. I have more time on my hands that I let on… why am I just wasting precious time doing nothing productive? I have been trying to think of ways to challenge myself with photography, but always feel like I’ve hit a brick wall.

Instead of writing or taking pictures, my time in these past few months has been filled with chasing Jayden around the house, and fearing the future. Chasing Jayden around is well worth my time, but fearing what is to come? A dear friend recently challenged me and said, “Do you realize that when you fear the future you’re not seeing God in that future. You’re not trusting that God is going to be there for you or even be there to walk you through it.” I never really thought of it that way! Even FDR said “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself”. He sure did have it right; the only thing that stands in our way is ourselves and our own fear.

It might just be that if I stop fearing the things in my life, I’ll have more time to focus on the more important things in life.

Poster Child for foolishness…

When people want to run away from their problems, they usually find some way to “forget” the problem or place blame on another to make themselves feel better. I am the poster child for Christians who play the “victim” card while acting like they are the perfect ones; and then wallow in their own self pity because they can’t admit their wrong. Yes, I have been though a lot… but there comes a time where you just need to start healing and let the past be the past. You can only let the anger go on so long before it turns into bitterness. Trust me, you won’t like who you’ll become.

I’m not the type of person that ever really wants to forget, nor does my brain ever really allow me to forget. (It’s a curse) But I have been watching myself make one bad decision after the next. Letting my bitterness get the best of me when all I need to really do is let God be in control. The pain is deep, and my brain tells me it’s still too new to just let go. The power I hold is getting the best of me and Satan knows just what to do with it. I let my thoughts run free with no limitations; and because the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9) I must let me savior take back the reigns.

Everything inside me says to change; says this is only a bump in the road to your “happily ever after.” I need to stop acting so foolishly; I know who I am; I know the destiny God has on my life. Why can’t I just let this go? I must lay myself down; lay it all down, my pride, my hurt, my anger…my entire LIFE. God is always reminding me that he will walk through anything with me, but I just need to trust him.

The Word says in Isaiah 43:2: When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.

Needless to say, I got my slap in the face. It hurt… but all God was doing was reopening wounds that healed improperly. (My hubby gave me that analogy) I’m still learning, still taking one day at a time. I’m seeing more that I’m not perfect and I never will be, but… isn’t that why Jesus died? I think that time DOES heal all wounds, and I think that it’s finally going in that direction. I just need to keep my eyes on my Lord and take it one day at a time. I think I’m starting to trust again.

Proverbs 31 Woman

Through out my life, I have had amazing women in my life to show me what it is to be a strong, godly woman. I'm blessed to have these women in my life and know God has put them in my life for a reason. But just recently, God has challenged me to discover for myself what HE considers to be a Godly woman. Not that the women in my life aren't already on that path, but for ME to understand for myself what he wants for me as a wife, mother, friend, and daughter. This past year, he is not only trying to show me who I am as a person, but who I am as a woman, and as a wife. Even through all the hurt and the pain, God still reminds me to first examine myself. Have I been a Proverbs 31 woman?

In Proverbs God clearly gives guidelines for how a virtuous woman should live. He talks about her character as a wife, her devotion as a homemaker, her effectiveness as a mother, and over all excellence as person. The question that now comes to mind is who is this woman and how can I get what she’s got? Have I fallen short to what God has called me to be? Am I even making strides to become this woman or have I been so consumed with my own problems that I sometimes forgotten that there is a piece of her within me that I discovered months ago? I know she’s there, I’ve seen her… but I feel like since my world came crashing down she’s gone back into hiding.

This past week, I have been on my face asking God to show me once again what it was he showed me just a few months ago. Showing me who I am, not only as a person, but as a woman! A refresher course is desperately needed and I don’t want to fail out again!! God, bring me to that place again where you humbled, where you stood with me and walked with me. I want that from you, I want to be that person you called me to be!

Faithful

My mind has been every where for these past few days. I feel like it’s been harder than normal, more depressing, and such a deep feeling of loss. I know this is normal, but how much do I have to deal with, until it stops; there's only so much my body can take, and it's been through quite enough, thank you. When I want to think about something, it's hard to concentrate and when I don't want to think about something, it’s right there showing me disturbing images. Everyday it’s hit or miss... Some days are great and I feel like things are getting back on track, but then there are days like today where I completely derail and feel like I'm never going to get over this. I just feel so worn out… so sad.

As I look back, I can see how God was preparing me for July 21st. In my disillusioned mind, I thought I was going through my trial then, but now I know that the past few months was only intense training for everything to come. God doesn't give you what you can't handle, and before March... I wouldn't have been able to handle this. Not only was God showing me who I was, he was showing me who he is. For five months he talked to me, encouraged me, held my hand, picked me up, wiped my tears, helped me parent my son, and rebuilt my very character from the ground up.

It’s amazing to me how faithful he is! He never left me once; all the long nights, soaking in the word and speaking scripture to me. Sitting in the car for hours, wiping every tear I cried. Teaching me what is truly mean to love, while caring me the entire way. I now know that I wasn't being tested for then... he was preparing me for now. He showed himself faithful, the entire time. I can honestly tell you that I didn’t feel him leave me once. He prepared me for anything, but I feel like I'm failing miserably!

I feel so worn out from the past few months, I feel like the next thing that comes my way is going to keep me down and for good. I feel like God is saying to me once again, “Lyryn, will you trust me?” I know he won’t let me down, but the question still is… can I handle it? It’s funny, when I ask these silly questions, God always rebuttals with words from a song. Damn, He’s good!

You would think only so much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume this one has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here
Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain?
Or joy at a good man's wake?
Walk a mile with the woman whose body is racked
With illness, oh how can she laugh?
Oh, 'cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

Emmanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient
We never walk alone
And this is our hope

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

-Natalie Grant

My Birthday (Weekend)

Well I must admit, I did have a pretty good birthday. My friends and family really, truly out did themselves this year. They made me feel so loves, and in such a way I haven’t felt in a long time. I must say, I am BLESSED!

I started my birthday by coming into work with my office decorated by my good friend Kim, follow up with my husband bring me fresh picked flowers from his parents garden. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. But they were beautiful! Then Kasey had backed me a cake and brought it in. It tasted like marshmallows. After all of that, and getting no work done, my lovely sister came in with fresh baked cookies and reminded me that she always rights me a poem for my birthday. This year she wrote it on her blog, it was so sweet… I think I even cried. After ALL that, my day was shot...

That evening my best friend, sister, soon to be sister and (can say how we are related in less than 5 ways, therefore we’re sister) sister gave me a small dinner party. It was AWESOME. Just the girls and I sitting around talking, laughing and just being us! We all had such a blast.

Saturday, Jesse took me out. He took me to Panara Bread for lunch and then we went to see a Mama Mia. I know that it sounds like a lame way to take your wife out for her birthday, but I loved it. It was simple, and he really thought about it. My favorite place to eat and a chick flick… you have no idea what that means to me!

Sunday, Jesse and Jeremiah threw me a birthday party. It was wonderful; I got to show off my newly landscaped backyard, thanks to Brent! And everyone who was important to me was there. I was a wonderful gathering.

I know that I could write a whole lot more on this, but I’m not feeling to well right now, so I am just going to show you some picture that were taken Friday night. My two favorite pictures is the first one (that Susan took-awesome job, babe) and the second one. I took that one! I didn’t realize how nice it was until Sue put it on her facebook. Ok, well I hope you enjoy…

Weekend Getaway

I hear that when you leave your child for the very first time, it’s the most painful thing in the world. I’m also told all you want to do is get back home to be with your little guy as soon as possible. And supposedly, all you can think about is what your baby is doing, and dreams you could be there for every moment.

Wait… let me gather my thoughts for a moment…

WHAT? Are you crazy? Am I a terrible mother for not feeling that way? Sure, I missed him and I did call to check in more then I would have before he was born; but was it painful… No. And yeah, sometimes I would think to myself I wish Jesse and Jayden could see this place; but did I wish to get back home to cold Pennsylvania instead of being in be beautiful sunny Florida… I don’t think so. And yes, I did wondered if Jayden would forget who I was; and wonder to himself who this crazy lady was calling herself mommy when I got home; but did I wish that I was there for every moment while I was away… HECK FREAKING NO!

Why would I feel that way when I had the most amazing weekend ever! Susan invited me to go with her and her parents to this amazing golf and spa resort in south Florida. Dad Witmer was going down there for a Pelican conference and wanted to bring Mom Witmer and Susan. When Sue told me, I jokingly said you need to bring your best friend. We talked about it for a little while and then let it go. When she got home that night she asked her parents. Dad Wit said “Why not, she needs a vacation!’

We left early Friday morning and arrived in Miami around 1 in the afternoon. Got our rental car and headed to the Doral Resort We had lunch at the grill and then looked around a little. Then Dad Wit said that he would treat us to a spa day! We were thrilled! Dad and Mom Wit had a Pelican dinner to attend that night, so Susan and I decided that we were going to dress up and go to dinner. It was fabulous! It was one of those restaurants where the food is amazing and melts in your mouth, but the portions are so small you need to grab something on the way home so your stomach isn’t rumbling at 2 in the morning. Then we headed back to the room and as soon as we hit the pillows we were both out. It was only 9:30.

The Next day we hung out at the pool all day! It started out a little cloudy, but then the sun came out and stayed out. We stayed out for about 7 hours! Mom wasn’t feeling too well, so dad, Susan and I hit the road to explore Miami. He headed down to Miami Beach and drove toward South Beach. The traffic was so bad that we decided to just go back and eat the resort. Ate there, and then all went back to our room and again… fell asleep early!

Sunday was our spa day! We had our message appointment at 10 and facials at 12. We got there early so we got in the hot tub for a while and then laid out. Before our treatments we had to meet in this room that was decorated so cool! Then they started calling our names. I knew in the back of my mind that I was going to get a male masseuse. I should have asked for a women because I was right. I couldn’t even relax because all I could think of was; he’s going to see my wrinkly butt and what if my boob pop’s out. It was more stressful then relaxing! Then we laid out some more… I felt liberated when we laid out this time… I wonder why ???? ;) Then we had a facial, loved mine! And then ate! Then laid out some more!!

Anyway, this entry is getting to be too long. We had a really great weekend and it was great to get away with my best friend. I’m really lucky I have such a great husband that would let me go away while he takes care of the baby. Not only did he wake up with him and take care of him; he even managed to clean the house while I was gone. He sure is super dad! But I’m just waiting for the day where he turns to me and say’s remember that weekend I took care of Jayden while you had fun? I’m here to collect! That day will come, I’m sure of it!

Change…Change is Good!

Sometimes it’s still hard to think that it’s not just me and Jesse anymore. Most people don’t understand the drastic change that will hit them once that beautiful bundle of joy comes into the world. Things go from one extreme to another… like, no more staying out past 9pm, it’s more like “If were not home by 9 o’clock to get the baby down for bed were so not getting sleep tonight.” If you’re a lover of sleep, kiss those days goodbye, now it’s more like “Are you going to take the 2am shift… or the 5:30am shift.” Or if you’re anything like Jess and I, we love eating out every Friday night and then going to a late movie. Unless you are rich and have money to pay for a babysitter every weekend your Friday night become more like …“This is why we have that massive DVD collection and thank God for the pizza villa right down the street.” I think it should be mandatory for all new parents to take a class on – How my life is going to change / What the heck did we get ourselves into. But, even that probably won’t help you much.

Ok… so I might be playing it up just a little. J Yea, we don’t get to stay out late… we don’t get much sleep, and we can’t go to every new movie release on the day it comes out. But, we have this amazing little boy who makes us laugh so hard. Everyday there is something new to learn about him and something he learns about himself. Like, how much he loves his own reflection.
(Just like his Aunt Katie… OMG, I’m so going to get killed for that one) or… how he just started to giggle, but only about 4 giggle will come out before they turn into a giggle/cry. And how he reaches for everything, but just can’t figure out how to grasp it. It’s all worth the change! This little person will someday become someone great and all of this will be worth it!! For now I’m sticking with just one… but again, it’s all worth it!

Just look at that face… tell me he's not worth it!














Anyway, life sure did change but in my opinion it changed for the better. Time will come again where Jesse and I will have our freedoms back, but I don’t want that to come to fast. For now, I’m just living each day as they come and hope to become a better mom from each experience.


Dude - But Jesse and I still have time to watch our LOST!!!