You think you have it figured out and then… BAM, out of no where you’re side swiped yet again by things that are new and unfamiliar. I feel like I have handled this whole new mom thing with such authority, grace, and ease. (At least to the public eye, I try to keep my falling apart moments to close family members only… Don’t want the world to see I’m not perfect!) In all honesty, I really feel like I have taken each new challenge really well, and have been very calm about the new things put before me. Like PB always says “Peaceful mommies make peaceful babies.” But this past week has really shown me I don’t have it all figured out and I possible never will.
Everyone in my family has been sick for the past few weeks. Jesse; he’s easy to handle just give him his Robitussin, PowerAde, and computer… and he’s set until his fever breaks. Me; just give me the drugs and lots of sleep and I’m good. But when you through a three month, helpless little baby in the mix, I’m like a deer in headlights. I can’t remember the last time I was so panicked. Oh yes, I do remember very well the last time I was this panicked… It was mid morning on October 16th and the doctor, without letting me know what she was doing broke my water. You should have seen me; I nearly jumped out of my bed and kicked her. But this time I wasn’t panicked for myself, I was worried about my little boy who had a terrible ear infection (which ARE painful) and a 102 fever. I was in uncharted water and only had a husband to keep me afloat.
Like any right minded 2008 mother would do, I gave him baby Tylenol right away and then quickly hoped on to Google to see “When is the right time to take my child to the hospital?” But of course, that was taking way too long because my Verizon internet is beyond SLOW, I decided to then call my pediatrician, who strategically on my speed dial #5 so all I have to do is press the center of my phone to get the help I need ASAP. But lucky me, got a nurse that was to grumpy to help a new mother in need. She laughed at me and told me, every baby has fevers and just give him Tylenol every 4 hours and rudely hung up. I couldn’t even ask little mind easing questions like, “What can I do to make him feel comfortable?” Or “If the fever persists, how long should I wait to call you back?” I’m a new MOM, I’m new at this!! I need more then a laugh and a subliminal you’re stupid! So I let him go through the night with giving him Tylenol every 4 hours, then next day I did not feel right about how that nurse treated me so I called them back and spoke to the triage nurse Kathy. She was so helpful!! She did tell me that a 102 fever was normal for a baby, but then went on to tell me things I should and should not be doing. She also gave me some good tips to get the germs out of the house once everyone was feeling better. She didn’t laugh at me or think I was crazy, she knew I was a first time mom learning what it’s like to have her child be sick for the first time. She blessed me more then anyone could ever know. All I wanted to hear was a calm voice tell me it was going to be ok… not everyone’s opinion on what I should do, just reassurance that I’m doing everything I can do for my little boy.
Needless to say, everyone is doing a heck of a lot better. It brings me joy just listening to Jayden talk to his daddy with that cute raspy sick voice of his. And what I am taking from all of this is that it’s OK to be scared, it’s ok to cry, and it’s ok to not know everything. It’s normal! As a mommy you’re always going to be scared, cry and worry for your children. But the lesson in all this is that all I can do is call on God to give me the strength to get through each new scary day.