Never Thought I Would Be A “Cloth Diaper” Mommy

This weekend I have taken a huge new step as a mommy.  I have stepped into new territory and my surroundings are completely foreign. However, I did think it was going to be a lot harder than what has already been thrown my way, but we are still only days into this new way of life… so we’ll see how this next week plays out.
For those who don’t know, I nervously stepped into the world of  “cloth diapers” this past Friday. A world that three years ago you wouldn’t have caught me dead in, more likely kicking and screaming and calling all the other mommies who do it crazy. Cloth diapers always seemed to be too much work and way too messy of a process to even consider, because I will be the first to tell you that I’m one lazy momma.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t live in filth and I’m pretty scheduled when it comes to getting things done around the house. My house is very much picked up 5 times a day because there is no way you can keep a house constantly “clean” (unless you are super mom and trust me… I’m not her) with a three year old and a one year old always pulling things out to play with right after you just put it all away. So “clean” is a very non-literal term in this house. 

But when it comes to doing laundry, I hate doing it. My wonderful husband can attest to that. For the longest time he would be the one that did laundry for us all. He likes things done a certain way and it didn’t bother him one bit, so he pretty much did all the laundry for most of our married life. However, since I became a SAHM there are things that I felt I needed to start stepping up to, since Jesse is working so very hard for this family.

Laundry is one of those chores I cringe just thinking about. So the thought of adding cloth diapers to my laundry day and adding more washings into the week with diapers… was something I really needed to think long and hard about before jumping in, because Jesse made it very clear that he would NEVER wash diapers.

Switching to cloth diapers was not something I just chose to do overnight. This has been something I have been thinking and praying about for a long time and have spent many hours researching, looking into, and bugging my good friend Rhiana about for the past two months. After doing the research I realized that this was not only going to be beneficial to my child, but this was also going to be extremely beneficial to our wallets in the long run.

For me personally, choosing to do cloth diapers wasn’t about saving the environment or being a good “green” mommy. For me, it was about laying down my own selfishness to make things easier on myself because I knew how much money we were wasting monthly on diapers alone. I DID prayerfully take this to the Lord and I DO believe that God was putting this on my heart because this was something I was asking the Lord to make me more aware of when it came to our finances. I felt like going to cloth diapers was a way for me to contribute to the family and saving a little more money on the side. Ian seems to love it and it’s really not as terrible as I thought it would be.

Though we are in the very early stages of this new way of life, I believe that the choice to do this will benefit us greatly and we'll start seeing our investment of cloth diapers a little more down the road, especially since we plan on having more kids and these diapers will then just be passed down to them. 

I know there are millions of reasons why someone should or should not do cloth diapers. In no way is this post about “why you should go to cloth diapers” now, because I honestly don’t think it’s for everyone. I think everyone should do what they are comfortable doing and in my case what I feel the Lord is speaking to my heart to do.

If anyone has good ideas or suggestions, I’m up for hearing them! Again, totally new to this and though I have done a lot of research, I feel I can always learn more from mommas who have been doing this for a while now!

Mother’s Day 2011

As most of you all know, I’m always a little nervous about Mother’s Day because it reminds me of my first. I tend to always have high expectations, which ultimately leave me feeling disappointed.  Most of the time the expectations are way too high.  Surprisingly this year I didn’t even think about my first Mother’s day, which is a first!! I think writing about it a few weeks back allowed me to release some of those hurt feelings and finally get some healing, so yay! It was a day I could thoroughly enjoy!

This year, all I really wanted for Mother’s Day was a long nap. Well, I didn’t get that. But I did get TONS of the cutest cards and a beautiful bouquet of flowers from the Hubs. Oh my heart melts.  I love cards from my boys!  I felt loved!!

Last years Mother's Day I was still pregnant with Ian and a little nervous about what the future would hold.  This year I just reflected on the blessings I had before me.  How lucky I am to have a husband who works hard to support his family so I can stay home and raise our children.   How blessed I am to have the two most amazing little boys in my life.

I also was reminded of God's faithfulness to this family.  Not only do I have my fire ball Jayden, but I also have my cuddle-bum Ian this year. This little boy would not be here today if Jesse and I didn’t choose to fight for our marriage. He is proof that God did have a plan and for that I’m truly thankful this year!

I also wanted to honor to amazing ladies in my life.

The first, of course is my mommy. The most wonderful woman that showed me how to love my kids with all that I am. The lady I call when I feel at my wits end (with my kids) and feel like I just can’t do it anymore. The most wonderful friend I could ever ask for; one that will always have my back no matter what. I want to be just like her! Sure, she isn’t always perfect but, she is perfect for me. She never lets me stop dreaming and I’m pretty sure she is my biggest fan. She has inspired me to write and keep writing. She has inspired me to be the best mom for my kids. She is everything I could have ever asked for in a mom and I’m so blessed to have her. I’m one lucky girl!

The other special lady is my sweet and precious Mommy-in-love. I’m the world’s luckiest woman to have such an amazing mother-in-law. Not everyone can say that! I love that I can tell her anything and feel so comfortable doing it. I love that I can share my heart with her and she will encourage me and build me up. She is an inspiration and a true example of what a stay at home mom should look like. I love that she is the best cheerleader for her kids and how she will make it to almost every one of Jesse’s games even now when he is almost 30. She has shown me what it’s like to be a faithful wife and mother. She has given me hope that love is can be real and unconditional. She is the best mother-in-law in the world!

I AM BLESSED

I hope all you mommies out there had a fantastic Mother’s day! Anyone do anything super special?

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Secrets That Mommies Don’t Want to Tell

Have you ever found yourself in a sticky spot with your kids? Have you ever been embarrassed about what your child has done in public? Have you ever had an incident that was so shocking that you think to yourself “how could I ever let anyone know that something like this happen in my home”? Maybe even vowed to never tell anyone about it, ever!? 

Well, that’s me…me… me…and me. 

We tend to have LOTS of mishaps around our home. Many of them are just silly things that happen and I can laugh them right off, because (as you all know) boys will be boys. But there has been a few instances that have made me just hang my head in shame or disbelief. 

I have made that vow a few times. God forbid, if people started judging me about how I’m raising my kids… my little world would be in pieces. I can’t let anyone know that I trip sometimes. I can’t let them see me when I’m down. What would people think?!

Well, to be honest I’m tired of living my life afraid of what people might think of me as a mom. I know I’m not alone. I know there are a few moms’ out there that have had their share of “Oh my word, my kid did what?!” So today, I am going to break my vow and let you in on something only a few people know. This was one of my first major “mishaps” as a mom and I am most certain that there are still many more to come since I am so very imperfect. 

We had just brought Ian home from the hospital. He was eleven days old. Those first few days we were trying to get our little family adjusted to all the change that had just happened. We thought Jayden was taking it very well. He was so sweet with Ian. Honestly, it was too good to be true. The only thing that was a little more difficult than normal was the nighttime routine. Jayden didn’t understand why Ian got to sleep next to mommy and he had to go sleep in his bed. 

I had finally gotten Ian down and put him in the Moses basket next to my bed. My husband had finished up with Jayden and he was lying quietly in his bed. Normally… that meant he would be asleep in 3 minutes or less. Since we had both the kiddos down we decided to jump in the shower for a few minutes to just wipe off the crazy, hectic day. We even kept the bathroom door open to hear for Jayden, just in case he decided to be a wild child. 

Before we knew it, Ian was screaming bloody murder. I thought he had just woken up and needed to be fed. I swiftly dried off. As I exited the bathroom I saw Jayden whip pass me, bee-line it to his room. We had not heard his squeaky door open.  When did he get so good at getting out of his bedroom? I quickly rushed into my room to see what the matter was. Jesse picked up Jayden and brought him to our room and started to ask Jayden what he was doing. Jayden picked up the bottle and said he wanted to feed him. Ian was still screaming, this didn’t sound like a hungry cry. Something still wasn’t right. 

As I was trying to console my little newborn, I started to look more closely. As I brought him into the light I noticed a liquid on his eyes. My heart almost stopped! I yelled to Jesse, “Jayden put nail polish on Ian’s EYES!!!!” Yes, Jayden had found my clear nail polish (Which was well hidden, but obviously not well enough), opened it and painted his little brothers eyes shut. What would give him the idea to paint on his brothers eyes!?!?! What was my child thinking?!?!

Needless to say I FREAKED! My baby’s eyes were stinging. He was in pain! I was afraid he was going to be blind. I pretty much lost it. Not to mention the fact that I was completely hormonal and could not keep myself calm because of all the post pregnancy hormones flowing through my body. 

Luckily, I have an amazing husband that kept incredibly calm. He quickly took Ian to the bathroom and started to flush his eye out with saline. Ian started to calm down, but I was still afraid. I wanted to take Ian to the ER right away, but Jesse did not want me driving so he got him together and went on his way.

Jayden knew he had done something wrong. He knew I was seriously upset. But before I could explain to him what he had done wrong, I needed to compose myself and get calm. I was so angry with Jayden. The anger was so intense. I know he didn’t understand what he had done. I had to call my mom. I needed to talk it out. 

My dad came down and sat with Jayden as I cooled off. My thoughts were finally coming together. I was getting a grip. I sat down and ask my dad “Why would he paint Ian’s eyes? I just don’t understand. I don’t even paint my own nails anymore.” My dad then looked at me and said “Does Jayden watch you put on makeup?” I said “Every day, why?” He then said “Do you put stuff on your eyes?” It clicked! I could understand what might have been going through Jayden head at the time. My dad then left and I sat with Jayden. I apologized for yelling and explained to him that what he did hurt Ian and that mommy was just upset. He kept telling me “sorry, mommy.” I knew he understood. 

Before Jesse got home I started to Googled “nail polish in eyes” and believe it or not, it happens more than you think! I stumbled onto this great article and the first thing it says is “DON’T FREAK OUT.” I wish I had found this before I sent my husband and son to the hospital. It made me feel a little less crazy though. Things began to look better. When Jesse came home he told me that Ian was fine and the doctor said “Good job, Dad. You did everything right,” then sent him on his way. Weeks later we got a bill for $795. That was the most expensive pat on the back I had ever seen. We are still disputing the charge. 

This was something I wanted to keep locked away forever. I felt like a terrible mom. People are going to think I was so irresponsible by leaving my newborn baby alone. Or worse, that people would think that I left open nail polish bottles everywhere so my kid can do whatever he wants with it. Well, if people think that then good for them. Yes, there are things I need to be more careful about but I did think that both my kids were sleeping. I also didn’t realize that Jayden knew where my nail polish was. Yes, I should have put it higher up but none of this doesn’t makes me a bad mom. It just helps me learn about who my kids are and how I can better parent them. I think one day this will be something we all laugh about. 

Has anything crazy like this ever happened in your family? How did you handle it? Has there been a mishap in your home that you would never tell anyone about? If so, welcome to the club! 

Have a great week, girlies!

Love Me

Being a mom can be hard. I think that most of the time we as moms tend to be more critical of ourselves than other. I know that I’m always wondering what I could be doing better, if I’m giving my kids the attention they need or sometimes thinking how I could be more fun and creative with them. I’m always the first to doubt myself… I don’t really see myself as a role model. I’m still very young and trying to find my way through all the craziness known as parenting. Occasionally there are moments that can leave you in utter disbelief because you realize, in one moment, that your children have heard what you have been saying and it’s not just going through one ear and out the other.

For me, that moment came when Jayden started talking about Jesus. I was so excited, so proud that what I had been saying was rubbing off on him. He started by pointing to his belly and saying “Mommy, Jesus lives here.” I gently redirected his finger towards his heart and said, “Yes, sweetie He lives inside you and in your heart.” It made my heart melt one day when he started telling people in Target. I couldn’t believe it… My little evangelist wanting to tell the world about Jesus! 

A few days later he told my husband, “Daddy, I want to grow up big like Jesus. And He carries.” My heart was just about a pile of mush by now. This past week many of our little conversations have been about Jesus. He no longer asks for mommy to kiss his boo-boo’s; instead he asks mommy to pray for them. And sometimes (not all the time) he will be the one that reminds me to pray with him. 

This past week I have been beaming with pride and joy. The more and more he talked about Jesus, the prouder and prouder I became; at times maybe even a little too proud. Like a puffed up peacock, I would sometimes ask Jayden the questions in front of family and friends, “Where does Jesus live?” And he would always have the same answer, “Jesus lives in my heart.” Because, my gosh… MY SON KNEW ABOUT JESUS! I thought to myself, little by little, I’m raising my child to know Jesus or at least try to understand that you CAN have a personal relationship with Jesus even though you can’t physically see Him. 

I must be a good mother now, right? 

Yesterday after I put my boys to bed, I started to think about all the questions Jayden had been asking me and how he has been looking for Jesse and me to show him the way. Suddenly I was brought to tears, so I started to pray. As I sat there in silence I could feel the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart. 

“I want you to want me like your child wants me.” 

I started to sob. 

“I want you to walk with Me, like Jayden hangs on to every word you say. I want you to cling to Me, like Jayden clings to you when he’s scared. I want you to trust Me, like Ian trusts you to feed him when he is hungry. I want you to spend time with Me, like you do when you are reading a bedtime story to your son. I want you to love Me like a child.” 

Why hadn’t I ever thought of that before? I have heard the phrase child like love… but never placed it in that context. There are so many ways to love your heavenly Father and yet, it had never been as clear as it was last night. I saw things in a different perspective, a childlike perspective. My three year old son had taught me something without even knowing it! All this talk about Jesus and yet his own mommy wasn’t giving that same Jesus enough of her time. Needless to say that proud mommy moment ended up becoming a humbling and convicting experience. 

These past few months there has been one verse constantly on my heart and I have been trying to set it firm within my spirit. Proverbs 22:6 “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” I need to lead by example. Words are just words. I can sing Jesus loves me until I’m blue in the face, but if I’m not living it then I’m not teaching my child anything of lasting value. I want nothing more than to raise my son's to be wonderful Godly men.  I'm just glad God chose this moment to reveal something so profound in such a simple way.   

Adjusting to Two as Reality Hits Hard

This year has gone so fast for me, I never imagined I would be where I am today. Last year around this time I was turning 27 and packing up a car to go on our family vacation. This year, I'm two years away from being 30 and so DESPERATELY in need of a vacation. But the biggest change of all, I would have to say is adjusting to two little boys instead of just one.

I was told the second baby is no big deal. You know how to be a mommy, there shouldn't be any surprises; that this time around should be a walk in the park. I am convinced that the ones who gave me this advice had a very difficult baby the first time around and their second must have been a piece of cake. I however was super lucky with my first baby.

Jayden was simple... He was sleeping through the night 8-10 hours by 3 months and was pretty chill most of the time. He was content just sitting in the swing and swinging for hours. I could get so much done!! Ian, on the other hand, is the complete opposite of his big brother. He is much more needy and always wants to be held. He is up at least three times at night, though he has pulled a few 5 hour stretches which were super nice. I'm told by others that I shouldn't worry and that Ian is a "normal" baby. That I was really lucky with Jayden and that most babies are just like Ian. Dang... I sure was spoiled!!!

Can I be honest? I feel like such an inexperienced mommy, like I have never mothered before. I feel like I have jumped into the ocean without a lift raft and am struggling to keep afloat. Not only were my expectations of nursing shattered, but I feel like I have neglected Jayden as well because he IS so independent. I think that sometimes I forget to spend one-on-one time with him when I do get the chance. I kind of feel like I'm being pulled in every direction and don't have time to even gather my thoughts, which for me... is not a good thing. Am I alone in feeling this way? Did anyone else feel this? Or am I crazy?

I'm sorry, I totally realize that I'm complaining here. Don't get me wrong, I'm so in love with our new little addition and he brings so much joy to our family! There are so many good things that have come from this new season in our lives and I don't forget to thank God for all of it, but this post is about me adjusting to this new life and how hard a transition it has been for me. What I guess I'm trying to saying is that it has been a complete lifestyle shock to me. Lack of sleep, not knowing what I can do to sooth my little man's tummy hurts, and very little me time... All of this has hit me like a ton of bricks and it's getting harder to breath. I find that a part of me is sitting here confused and asking God, "Why has this time been so hard?"

Now that I have taken the time to really write down my feelings and reflect these past two months (Which is why I love writing and blogging so much), I'm brought to a revelation and some conviction. I have come to the conclusion that not only was I spoiled before Ian, but that I was still very selfish and have been keeping God on a little shelf that I can bring down when it's convenient for me. As a mom, selfishness must become a thing of the past, you must lay yourself down. It is no longer just about you. I was convinced that I had already "died to self" once Jayden was born and after that treacherous walk through the fire with my marriage. I'm pretty sure I may have confused "dieing to self" with pride and life experience hurts, because I see some of those old habits creeping up quickly in my spirit and need to nip it in the butt now.

Though I am very good about spending time with the Lord and getting my devotion in for the day, it is always on my time and my schedule. And these past two months haven't been any different. Letting God down when I wanted him, parenting on my OWN understanding and my OWN strength. No wonder it's been so hard!! Where has God been in all this? Yep, sitting up on that shelf where I put him just waiting for me to ask him to come help!

REALITY CHECK!!!

Adjusting to new life changes (like a 2nd baby) is hard, but it would be a lot easier if I would just let go of my pride and let God off that shelf and let Him help me. He will never steer me wrong, but I need to be more sensitive to when He is speaking and I believe that has been a major player in the way I've been feeling lately.

Thank you Father for revealing yourself to me today and continue to help me seek more of you on a daily bases to raise my children the way you would have me raise them. Give me strength and wisdom to the best wife I can be and an even better mother than I have been in the past.

Question for Mom's: Have any of you felt this way after your second or third child? What did you do to help feel better about your day and better about being a good mom? Also... how do you mom's that have multiple children find the time to blog? I know I had no excuse before Jayden, but now when I do have time I'm either trying to nap because I'm so exhausted or clean my house because it's so filthy. I know blogging is such a release for me and helps me process so much of what I'm feeling. So it's something I really need to make some time for. I would love to hear from you!

A Mother’s Judgments

Before I became a mother I was so naive. My pride would have told you otherwise, I would have proudly told you that I was ready and capable and knew exactly what was about to happen. I knew my children would never be perfect (no child is), but in no way was I ready to have a little being control all aspects of my life. I was determined teach them “right” before they ever got to the disobedience phase in life. Not like all those other mothers I had judged in my past. No, not I… I would have my kids under control and as close to well behaved as possible!

I was convinced that I had this whole mothering thing down and I knew exactly what I was and WASN’T going to do with my children. I would look at other moms with their children and secretly judge them. I even secretly judge my OWN mom and how she raised us and told myself all the things I would never do with my own kids.

For some strange reason at the ripe old age of 25, I thought I was more brilliant than all of the “experienced” mommies out there. Looking back, I can see how some of them may have made the same judgments before they had their own children. I’m ashamed to even admit it! If a child was acting out, I would tell myself I would have done something different to punish that rebellious, annoying child. If I knew a friend that had out spoken child and would be a disturbance while out… I would find some stupid reason to get out of hanging with them that day until they had someone else to watch their kid. I have come to find out that today it appears I’m reaping all my judgments that I placed on all these other mommies who were just doing their best to raise their child.

Lord, I was so wrong! No child comes with a manual and every child comes with their own sets of genetics, temperaments, will and drive. And usually it takes TIME to work those things out and learn who your child really is and will become. You don’t really know your child or who they are going to be after being out of the womb for only 2 months; they are an ever growing person that is learning the ways of the world. It’s hard to see that even at such a young age you can see the sinful nature that we were all born with starting to rear its ugly head.

I didn’t start seeing the effects of my judgments until Jayden turned two. I felt that Jayden was a VERY good baby. He was great at eating, slept through the night at almost 2 ½ months and was pretty calm most of the time. He even took teething and potty training like a champ. I couldn’t have asked for anything more. But as soon as he hit his terrible-two’s, I started to see more and more of an attitude and personality that was telling us that he was ready to show us more about who HE REALLY was. Pushing his boundaries, speaking out with an attitude often using that dreadful word “No”, finding more of his independence that I just wasn’t ready for; nor was I ready for all the dirty looks and questioning mothering techniques that I was so generous enough to give other 3 years earlier.

At times I feel so alone, like no one seems to understand me. I find that friends that use to love hanging out with me… no longer have the desire because it can be too stressful. I find myself in the same boat I placed other mothers in not too long ago. I am the mother of an amazing 2 ½ year old little man who is exerting every ounce of independence as loudly and frequently as possible. From what I have read this behavior is COMPLETELY normal, but I have come to understand how annoying it can be to others at times, especially if they don’t have a little one of their own. There are days that are so tiring and frustrating, but there is always something that God gives me to make it that much better.

So here I am today, pride broken and shattered on the ground. I am not the mother I thought I would one day be… PERFECT. I had no right to judge all of those other mothers. I didn’t understand what all they were dealing with or what was coming my way. They were only doing their best, just as I am today.

Have you seen the same judgments play out in your life as I have?

Thoughts on Potty Training

With one day down and it being daddy’s turn today; my thoughts on potty training thus far is that it pretty much sucks! Don’t get me wrong, Jayden is doing GREAT and the fact that I might not have to pay for diapers again for him is a major bonus!! But there were times yesterday I did ask myself if this was all worth it.

Potty training is just a very time consuming task, especially doing it by yourself. It’s very wearing on a mom and dad whose child is already so self sufficient in so many ways and it can sometimes be difficult to have him by my side 24/7. You literally get nothing done! The good thing about it is that both Jesse and I are getting to spend a lot of QT with our little man!!

I think that I have said “potty” so many times in the last three days that I could seriously go nuts! Last night we had family dinner at my parents and by the end; I think my siblings were ready to kill me because I said it so much. My husband thought it would be funny yesterday to text me “Do you need to use the potty?” I was not so amused. Though Jesse couldn’t be there he was texting me all day to see how I was doing; making me feel very encouraged. That helped a lot!

I think I might be that mom that getting a little too excited when her child goes “potty,” at times I felt that I was more excited than him. It was like he was saying; “ok mom, nice dance; now give me the freaking M&M’s!” Seriously, my dances were like a production!!! Am I really the only mom that did this?!

To get to this point of potty training Jayden, I felt the need to really do my research to find the best ways of getting him permanently on the potty. I didn’t want any of this “hard core” stuff and then for us to give up and go back to diapers. But all in all, I think I’m more confused by reading all that stuff than if I didn’t read it at all.

I’m convinced that it has nothing to do with gender or any technique posted on the internet. I think that every child is different and each has their own way of finally “getting it.” I’ve seen both boys and girls at 21 months, trained and be fine. I’ve also seen both boys and girls not potty trained until age 4. I don’t think that there’s any “right” way.

We are only on day two. There are moments I think Jayden will make it and be potty trained by the end of the week; then there are moments I don’t. Either way I need to stay positive and keep encouraging him. He will get it and it doesn’t really matter when. I think my expectations of this whole thing were not so much on getting HIM potty trained and more whether I could do it as a working mother. I really need to lay that down and just focus on him and help him the way he needs as best as I can.

Three more days to go…

What Is He Trying to Tell Mommy

For the last month, Jayden has been very enthusiastic about letting us know when he had gone to the bathroom in his diaper. This kid does not like being dirty!! With all the reading that I have done on potty training I know that when the child is letting you know it’s time to change him, he understands the concept of going to the bathroom. So I took this as a sign when I saw little Jay-man sitting on the toilet with toilet paper wrapped around himself!!!

Since Jayden was about one, I told myself that I wanted to potty train him before his second birthday. Since the signs have been obviously clear, I have decided to make a goal and get my son potty trained. Let’s just call it a birthday present to mommy!

With every goal, you need a plan! So yesterday, I made a date of when I would start this excruciating process of potty training and went out and bought everything I would need for these five terrible days of pure and utter torture!
Next Wednesday is when it begins… wish me luck!

Nap Time!

Since I have been working in the afternoons for my friend Bryan part-time from my home; I try to put Jayden down for his nap once I start working, so I can actually get some work done. Jayden is the kind of boy that wants you to follow him everywhere! There is no computer time for mommy, just play time for Jay-Jay! We are working on this problem (along with a list of others)… but let's take it one step at a time, shall we?!?

So to make thing a little easier on mommy, I have gotten into the habit of telling him to go to mommy’s bed and lay there until he gets sleepy. I then normally give him 10 minutes to drink some juice and watch a little SpongeBob and then put him in his own bed, but today was different. He seemed noticeably more sleepy then normal. So after I gave him juice and went back upstairs. Getting lost in my work 20 minutes quickly passed, then I started to wonder what was going on with Jayden...

Amazingly he had taken it upon himself to climb up the steps, get into mommy and daddy’s bed, find his Nuk and his "B" (blanky) and then TUCK himself under the covers to take a nap. This was what I saw when I walked into my bedroom...




So cute! My little angel taking his nap, too bad it wasn’t in his own bed! ;)

10 Things I Swore I’d Never Do

These are 10 things I said I’d never do when I had Children…

1. My child will not affect my life in anyway
2. My child will never go out of the house without their hair perfect
3. I will cook every meal and have we’ll have family dinner every night
4. My children will not stay in their PJ’s all day, they will be dressed
5. My children will eat all organic foods, that I make
6. My children will not have sugar before the age of 2
7. My children will not have soda before the age of 5
8. I will not put my child on a leash
9. I will not be late because of my child
10. MY child will NOT have me wrapped around their finger in any way

Lesson: Never say never!!!

Jayden Loves his Babysitter

When you think your day just can’t get any worse… God give you something to laugh at!

So I’m sitting at work pulling my hair out and all of a sudden get a text message from Kim. (Kim is a good friend that I use to work with, but she also watches Jayden sometime during the week.)

First Text
Subject: Who needs Toys?



















Second Text:
Subject: Silly Day



















I must say, it put a smile on my face! My little man brings me joy, what can I say?

Snow Day

Scraping Snow off your car in heels … Poor judgment call when getting dressed this morning.

Realizing you’re not in 4wheel drive after almost running off the road … Not use to having 4wheel drive.

Trying to figure out why PennDot doesn’t have plows on the road yet … Thank you PennDot.

Taking the back way home when you know the roads haven’t been touched … Blond moment!

Almost getting slammed, head on, by an out-of-control SUV … Probable someone else that doesn’t realized they aren’t in 4 while drive

Screaming kid in the back seat making the “cracker, more, please, and milk” signs … A confused little boy.

Falling on my butt in the snow because of those heels … Again, poor dressing judgment.

Trying to find Jayden’s mittens to go play in the snow… Gives up, daddy’s socks will do.

Spending 20 minutes looking for a shovel to shovel the walk … Still can’t find the dang shovel

Seeing Jayden’s face while he plays in the snow… priceless!

Freak Out

I can still remember when my mom would take me to the pediatrician to get my annual shots. I would work myself up so much that my heart would race, my palms would sweat, and my mind would wander with thoughts of how big and how thick the needle would be going into my arm. As you can see, I’m not a needle person!

With all that being said, Jayden is totally my son! Today, we had his 4 month check-up… which wonderfully included his DPT shot, Hib shot, polio shot, and pneumococcal shot; four vaccines, two in each leg. But this was not the first time he had done this and he knew it! As soon as we walked in the room he curled right up on me and put his head on my chest. I instantly knew my child was BRILLIANT, and was scared to death that this was going to be like before.

When I got into the room, the nurse asked me to take everything off but his diaper and she would be back in a moment. When she came back she asked me to lay him out the table just to get his length. As soon as I laid him on the table he turned bright red (just like mommy) and screamed his head off! I couldn’t believe it, this poor nurse had done nothing yet and this kid was terrified! I gave him his nuk, he clamed down right away. She checked his ears and everything they’re suppose to and then informed me that she would be back in a moment to give him his immunizations. All of a sudden my heart started to race. Staying calm, I had to sit down and ask God to calm my heart. He sure did work fast! As soon as the nurse came in, I had completely calmed down and was ready to do this thing. She said to me sweetly “I’m ready when you are!” I put him down on the table and held is arms. As soon as the first shot was in, I felt tears weld up in my eye. Believe it or not, it really hurts when you see your child in pain. I never believed until I had him.

When it was all done, I picked him up and just held him. He calmed down pretty quickly, got him dressed and we went on our way! When we got home I gave him some Tylenol and let him rest for about 20 minutes. When he woke up, it was like nothing happened. He sure us my little tough guy!

Poor Baby

Teething's a 61T(H

That's the best way I know how to put it. Jayden sure does take it like a champ, but I know he's hurting. He wakes up at least 3 times a night, which isn't like him at all. He chews his hand like he hasn't been feed in days and he's getting more and more fussy everyday. I know, my standards of fussiness are not like most mom's. When people hear me say it, they look at me like I'm from another planet and tell me "Girl, this is not fussy."

Well, if all you've ever had is a quite baby, one that is content with sitting around all day and just looking at things, you don't know any different. I've been blessed! I've never had a child that cries more then just a little here and there. I can usually figure out what is wrong, without him crying for a long period of time. Three things... hungry, tired, or just wants to be held. That's all he needs! He still is content doing that stuff, but he is more agitated. So, to me... that's fussy, he's not himself. Tylenol usually helps, but I don't want to give it to him so much that he gets immune to it.

I might just go to Walmart and see if they have teething gel. Or I read that you can make these small 100% juice ice cubes and they can suck on them. (With parent supervision, of course) That might work, who knows... I'm new at all this!

Change…Change is Good!

Sometimes it’s still hard to think that it’s not just me and Jesse anymore. Most people don’t understand the drastic change that will hit them once that beautiful bundle of joy comes into the world. Things go from one extreme to another… like, no more staying out past 9pm, it’s more like “If were not home by 9 o’clock to get the baby down for bed were so not getting sleep tonight.” If you’re a lover of sleep, kiss those days goodbye, now it’s more like “Are you going to take the 2am shift… or the 5:30am shift.” Or if you’re anything like Jess and I, we love eating out every Friday night and then going to a late movie. Unless you are rich and have money to pay for a babysitter every weekend your Friday night become more like …“This is why we have that massive DVD collection and thank God for the pizza villa right down the street.” I think it should be mandatory for all new parents to take a class on – How my life is going to change / What the heck did we get ourselves into. But, even that probably won’t help you much.

Ok… so I might be playing it up just a little. J Yea, we don’t get to stay out late… we don’t get much sleep, and we can’t go to every new movie release on the day it comes out. But, we have this amazing little boy who makes us laugh so hard. Everyday there is something new to learn about him and something he learns about himself. Like, how much he loves his own reflection.
(Just like his Aunt Katie… OMG, I’m so going to get killed for that one) or… how he just started to giggle, but only about 4 giggle will come out before they turn into a giggle/cry. And how he reaches for everything, but just can’t figure out how to grasp it. It’s all worth the change! This little person will someday become someone great and all of this will be worth it!! For now I’m sticking with just one… but again, it’s all worth it!

Just look at that face… tell me he's not worth it!














Anyway, life sure did change but in my opinion it changed for the better. Time will come again where Jesse and I will have our freedoms back, but I don’t want that to come to fast. For now, I’m just living each day as they come and hope to become a better mom from each experience.


Dude - But Jesse and I still have time to watch our LOST!!!

Cough… Fever… Ear Infection, Oh my!

You think you have it figured out and then… BAM, out of no where you’re side swiped yet again by things that are new and unfamiliar. I feel like I have handled this whole new mom thing with such authority, grace, and ease. (At least to the public eye, I try to keep my falling apart moments to close family members only… Don’t want the world to see I’m not perfect!) In all honesty, I really feel like I have taken each new challenge really well, and have been very calm about the new things put before me. Like PB always says “Peaceful mommies make peaceful babies.” But this past week has really shown me I don’t have it all figured out and I possible never will.

Everyone in my family has been sick for the past few weeks. Jesse; he’s easy to handle just give him his Robitussin, PowerAde, and computer… and he’s set until his fever breaks. Me; just give me the drugs and lots of sleep and I’m good. But when you through a three month, helpless little baby in the mix, I’m like a deer in headlights. I can’t remember the last time I was so panicked. Oh yes, I do remember very well the last time I was this panicked… It was mid morning on October 16th and the doctor, without letting me know what she was doing broke my water. You should have seen me; I nearly jumped out of my bed and kicked her. But this time I wasn’t panicked for myself, I was worried about my little boy who had a terrible ear infection (which ARE painful) and a 102 fever. I was in uncharted water and only had a husband to keep me afloat.

Like any right minded 2008 mother would do, I gave him baby Tylenol right away and then quickly hoped on to Google to see “When is the right time to take my child to the hospital?” But of course, that was taking way too long because my Verizon internet is beyond SLOW, I decided to then call my pediatrician, who strategically on my speed dial #5 so all I have to do is press the center of my phone to get the help I need ASAP. But lucky me, got a nurse that was to grumpy to help a new mother in need. She laughed at me and told me, every baby has fevers and just give him Tylenol every 4 hours and rudely hung up. I couldn’t even ask little mind easing questions like, “What can I do to make him feel comfortable?” Or “If the fever persists, how long should I wait to call you back?” I’m a new MOM, I’m new at this!! I need more then a laugh and a subliminal you’re stupid! So I let him go through the night with giving him Tylenol every 4 hours, then next day I did not feel right about how that nurse treated me so I called them back and spoke to the triage nurse Kathy. She was so helpful!! She did tell me that a 102 fever was normal for a baby, but then went on to tell me things I should and should not be doing. She also gave me some good tips to get the germs out of the house once everyone was feeling better. She didn’t laugh at me or think I was crazy, she knew I was a first time mom learning what it’s like to have her child be sick for the first time. She blessed me more then anyone could ever know. All I wanted to hear was a calm voice tell me it was going to be ok… not everyone’s opinion on what I should do, just reassurance that I’m doing everything I can do for my little boy.

Needless to say, everyone is doing a heck of a lot better. It brings me joy just listening to Jayden talk to his daddy with that cute raspy sick voice of his. And what I am taking from all of this is that it’s OK to be scared, it’s ok to cry, and it’s ok to not know everything. It’s normal! As a mommy you’re always going to be scared, cry and worry for your children. But the lesson in all this is that all I can do is call on God to give me the strength to get through each new scary day.