Monday, January 17, 2011

Secrets That Mommies Don’t Want to Tell

Have you ever found yourself in a sticky spot with your kids? Have you ever been embarrassed about what your child has done in public? Have you ever had an incident that was so shocking that you think to yourself “how could I ever let anyone know that something like this happen in my home”? Maybe even vowed to never tell anyone about it, ever!? 

Well, that’s me…me… me…and me. 

We tend to have LOTS of mishaps around our home. Many of them are just silly things that happen and I can laugh them right off, because (as you all know) boys will be boys. But there has been a few instances that have made me just hang my head in shame or disbelief. 

I have made that vow a few times. God forbid, if people started judging me about how I’m raising my kids… my little world would be in pieces. I can’t let anyone know that I trip sometimes. I can’t let them see me when I’m down. What would people think?!

Well, to be honest I’m tired of living my life afraid of what people might think of me as a mom. I know I’m not alone. I know there are a few moms’ out there that have had their share of “Oh my word, my kid did what?!” So today, I am going to break my vow and let you in on something only a few people know. This was one of my first major “mishaps” as a mom and I am most certain that there are still many more to come since I am so very imperfect. 

We had just brought Ian home from the hospital. He was eleven days old. Those first few days we were trying to get our little family adjusted to all the change that had just happened. We thought Jayden was taking it very well. He was so sweet with Ian. Honestly, it was too good to be true. The only thing that was a little more difficult than normal was the nighttime routine. Jayden didn’t understand why Ian got to sleep next to mommy and he had to go sleep in his bed. 

I had finally gotten Ian down and put him in the Moses basket next to my bed. My husband had finished up with Jayden and he was lying quietly in his bed. Normally… that meant he would be asleep in 3 minutes or less. Since we had both the kiddos down we decided to jump in the shower for a few minutes to just wipe off the crazy, hectic day. We even kept the bathroom door open to hear for Jayden, just in case he decided to be a wild child. 

Before we knew it, Ian was screaming bloody murder. I thought he had just woken up and needed to be fed. I swiftly dried off. As I exited the bathroom I saw Jayden whip pass me, bee-line it to his room. We had not heard his squeaky door open.  When did he get so good at getting out of his bedroom? I quickly rushed into my room to see what the matter was. Jesse picked up Jayden and brought him to our room and started to ask Jayden what he was doing. Jayden picked up the bottle and said he wanted to feed him. Ian was still screaming, this didn’t sound like a hungry cry. Something still wasn’t right. 

As I was trying to console my little newborn, I started to look more closely. As I brought him into the light I noticed a liquid on his eyes. My heart almost stopped! I yelled to Jesse, “Jayden put nail polish on Ian’s EYES!!!!” Yes, Jayden had found my clear nail polish (Which was well hidden, but obviously not well enough), opened it and painted his little brothers eyes shut. What would give him the idea to paint on his brothers eyes!?!?! What was my child thinking?!?!

Needless to say I FREAKED! My baby’s eyes were stinging. He was in pain! I was afraid he was going to be blind. I pretty much lost it. Not to mention the fact that I was completely hormonal and could not keep myself calm because of all the post pregnancy hormones flowing through my body. 

Luckily, I have an amazing husband that kept incredibly calm. He quickly took Ian to the bathroom and started to flush his eye out with saline. Ian started to calm down, but I was still afraid. I wanted to take Ian to the ER right away, but Jesse did not want me driving so he got him together and went on his way.

Jayden knew he had done something wrong. He knew I was seriously upset. But before I could explain to him what he had done wrong, I needed to compose myself and get calm. I was so angry with Jayden. The anger was so intense. I know he didn’t understand what he had done. I had to call my mom. I needed to talk it out. 

My dad came down and sat with Jayden as I cooled off. My thoughts were finally coming together. I was getting a grip. I sat down and ask my dad “Why would he paint Ian’s eyes? I just don’t understand. I don’t even paint my own nails anymore.” My dad then looked at me and said “Does Jayden watch you put on makeup?” I said “Every day, why?” He then said “Do you put stuff on your eyes?” It clicked! I could understand what might have been going through Jayden head at the time. My dad then left and I sat with Jayden. I apologized for yelling and explained to him that what he did hurt Ian and that mommy was just upset. He kept telling me “sorry, mommy.” I knew he understood. 

Before Jesse got home I started to Googled “nail polish in eyes” and believe it or not, it happens more than you think! I stumbled onto this great article and the first thing it says is “DON’T FREAK OUT.” I wish I had found this before I sent my husband and son to the hospital. It made me feel a little less crazy though. Things began to look better. When Jesse came home he told me that Ian was fine and the doctor said “Good job, Dad. You did everything right,” then sent him on his way. Weeks later we got a bill for $795. That was the most expensive pat on the back I had ever seen. We are still disputing the charge. 

This was something I wanted to keep locked away forever. I felt like a terrible mom. People are going to think I was so irresponsible by leaving my newborn baby alone. Or worse, that people would think that I left open nail polish bottles everywhere so my kid can do whatever he wants with it. Well, if people think that then good for them. Yes, there are things I need to be more careful about but I did think that both my kids were sleeping. I also didn’t realize that Jayden knew where my nail polish was. Yes, I should have put it higher up but none of this doesn’t makes me a bad mom. It just helps me learn about who my kids are and how I can better parent them. I think one day this will be something we all laugh about. 

Has anything crazy like this ever happened in your family? How did you handle it? Has there been a mishap in your home that you would never tell anyone about? If so, welcome to the club! 

Have a great week, girlies!


Amy Silver said...

Oh my gosh! First of all, not sure I've ever commented, but I really enjoy reading your blog! I think we have ALL been here in one situation or another, I wish we all weren't afraid of judgement. Once you said he was alright, I had a good laugh. These things FOR SURE happen all the time, sibling rivalry is soo funny! You sound like a very good mom, no worries :)

Amy Silver said...

Oh my gosh! First of all, not sure I've ever commented, but I really enjoy reading your blog! I think we have ALL been here in one situation or another, I wish we all weren't afraid of judgement. Once you said he was alright, I had a good laugh. These things FOR SURE happen all the time, sibling rivalry is soo funny! You sound like a very good mom, no worries :)

Amy Silver said...

Oh my gosh! First of all, not sure I've ever commented, but I really enjoy reading your blog! I think we have ALL been here in one situation or another, I wish we all weren't afraid of judgement. Once you said he was alright, I had a good laugh. These things FOR SURE happen all the time, sibling rivalry is soo funny! You sound like a very good mom, no worries :)

Stephanie said...

You crazy Mom you :) You did ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong!!!!

We all need time to ourselves for a minute (and when did a shower become wrong?) - they were in bed and everything was safe. It's not as though you left a knife sitting on the bathroom counter.

You need to not be so hard on yourself - you're a fabulous mommy and very clearly doing a wonderful job because you have a spectacular family!

Glad Ian is okay!!!!!

and that hospital bill - oh my - hospitals are insane these days! I took Caleb when he had croup and they gave him one dose of steroids - we were there 40 minutes and they charged us 400!

Lindsey said...

I remember in Connor's newborn days that he woke up around 6:30 to eat. I was exhausted, fed him on the couch, and he fell asleep. I somehow fell asleep, too. All of a sudden I had the body movement that jerks you awake. When I woke up, Connor was no longer in my arms, he was down by my feet. I FREAKED OUT! I was sobbing thinking I had dropped Connor! He never cried or made a peep, but the sight and the thoughts that went through my mind were uncontrollable. I handed him to Adam saying, "I Dropped him! I dropped him!" Of course the postpartum hormones always make these situations worse. Adam told me to calm down, Connor was fine and that I needed some sleep... in a bed, not on a couch.

We all have those moments. Of course, at the time, we think we are the worst parent in the world. Now, we can tell the story and chalk it up to another parenthood learning experience.

tinahead81 said...

oh man, we've all been there! i still haven't told my mom about the time david pulled our little tv down on top of himself!!

Hi, I'm Susan! said...

awwww lyr don't be so hard on yourself! you're a great mom and you can't control everything your kids will do. you guys did everything right! glad ian is ok! :)

Chicago Mom (Heather) said...

I have a couple stories like this and 2 of them involve dog poop!!

One night I heard Henry in his room playing. His lights were out b/c he was supposed to be sleeping. As I walked past his room I got a whiff of something horrendous. When I turned on the light his entire room was smeared with dog poop. It was all over him too and in his hair. EVERYWHERE. I completely freaked out and put him in the bathtub. Our dog had pooped in his room and we didn't notice it (We have a naughty doggie who likes to poop in the house sometimes).

I'd like to tell you this was the only time it happened but a couple weeks ago the same thing happened to our daughter!! We have a bad dog.

Keira also fell down a steep flight of stairs. We were on vacation and I turned my back for 1 second to grab her pj's out of my bag. She goes down the stairs with no problem at our home but these were slippery and steep. She fell all the way to the bottom and I was sure she broke her neck or something.

Thank God she was OK. I have never prayed so hard in my life.

So these types of mis-haps happen all the time. Thank you for sharing yours. It makes us all feel better!

(My son also broke his femur when he was 18 months old). He slipped on a book and we were not there to see it happen. Child Protective Services were all over us!!!!) That was AWFUL!

Alicia said...

Oh my gosh, I think I would have reacted the same way as you! I'm so glad that he was okay!!

And trust me, that's probably the same feeling I had when I realized that I didn't buckle up my eldest sons car sear when he was a newborn!! Oh my! And this was after driving around!

Katie said...

I'm sure these things are bound to happen, but I can't lie, my jaw was on the floor, because I, too would have FREAKED OUT worried to no end. But, you guys handled it all right, and now you know jayden's sneaky/smart/brilliant ways :) haha. He is such a kid. But, your dad totally made a good point.

Brynn said...

hi! thanks for leaving the sweet comment! hope you follow along!

nothing has happened YET, but my best friend's son drank paint thinner several months ago. he thought it was a can of soda and was sneaking to get it because he knew he couldn't have soda... long story short, he ended up being just fine. ris is forever traumatized, though!

i can't wait to read back through your posts; this is my kind of blog!

LeAnna said...

I totally cringed for you when I read finger nail polish. OH MY WORD. As the Mom of a 2yo boy and 3 mo girl, I can totally see that happening. And only 11 days after giving birth??? YES. Hormonal crazy lady is out in full force. Bless you're heart, though! So far (knocking on all wood within 10,000 mile radius, we haven't had any major catastrophes. I was a spaz about baby girl's soft spots when we brought her home, though. So far I've only found her sitting in her bouncy seat with a plastic cereal bowl on her head once. Ahem.

LucieP said...

oh feeling ya!! I'm glad you and your man were having some together time! ;)

Let it out girl- I'm sure if you haven't realized by now- everyone has something that they've done or seen or know about it.

And if not then perhaps they are not strong enough to handle the real world.

Mitzi G. said...

OMG; I would have freaked out as well becuase that is not something you are prepared to deal with or have thought of ever happening.

I can only hope & pray that when our 2nd little guy arrives that his big brother loves & accepts him & doesn't ever try to "paint his eyes"

Shandell said...

oh my goodness! I totally understand your fear + frustration. Good for you for understanding that you're human and things like this happen to all parents.
Thanks for sharing.

Angie said...

oh girl...bless your heart. i remember the hormonal feeling of having a new born all to well.

since becoming a mom i have learned to not judge other mothers. sometimes ppl don't do things the way i would, but that is what is so awesome about this thing called mother hood, we are all different and can get new and better ideas from mommy's that have already been there :)

i don't think this makes you a bad mom. things happen all the time. i would have freaked out too, and sent my hubs to the er. whew!

my heart was beating fast for you for a second as i read this post. i'm glad every thing turned out ok. and now i know about nail polish in eyes...thanks for sharing!!!

Red Stethoscope said...

Hey Lyr!

I just found your blog and let me say that first of all, you did not do anything wrong. Kids are kids and you can turn your back for 0.005 seconds and they can do anything! Secondly, I am a medical student who is not pregnant or hormonal and if this happened to me, I would be FLIPPING OUT! In fact, it might be worse because I would have doctor friends that I could call, except I would be CRAZY AND INCOHERENT.

I think the way that you handled this situation--taking time to calm down, calling in reinforcements, explaining to Jayden why what he did was wrong--was actually model parenting. I'm going to remember this story when/if my child paints nail polish on his or her sibling's eyeS. Because let's face it, someone's probably going to get an M&M stuck in their lungs or lose an eyebrow before age 10.

Hilary Lane said...

Aww, I think you did everything right and in no way need to feel like a bad mom! When I was a toddler, my sister left her bottle of hairspray on her dresser and I took the cap off & dumped it on my head. My mom ended up calling poison control & holding my head under the faucet while I screamed bloody murder. I turned out fine. :-)) But I'm glad both babies are okay!