Letting go can often be the toughest part of a relationship. Whether it’s letting go of hurts, insecurities, guilt, selfishness, control or even unrealistic expectations we all must learn to let go at some point. These last few chapters spoke volumes to my soul. For me letting go is the last thing I ever want to do even when it’s the best thing in the world for me. In my mind letting go means that I have failed or more so that I have lost control of what is going on. I sometimes forget that by letting go, I’m giving the control back to Jesus instead of exerting my own will.
Before I go on, here is an amazing video from Ryan Shook (Kerry and Chris Shook’s son) about letting go.
For me letting go meant letting go of my picture perfect family that I tried so hard to show everyone I had and the control I so desperately wanted. Letting go meant forgiving my husband, for all the pain and hurt he had caused to my heart because I knew that I wanted to fight for our convent. Letting go gave me no choice but to expose my insecurities and fears of judgment because I knew that people would have their opinions and things to say about the choices I made. Letting go left my pride shattered in a million pieces. Letting go allowed me to examine myself and my own issues to see how selfish I could be and had been. For me, letting go meant that I could no longer walk without Jesus holding me up.
The greatest act of letting go is when God let go of His only son and sacrificed Him for our sins. God was intentional in His love for us, but having a meaningful relationship with Him requires an intentional act from us. God is teaching me each day what it means to let go and just let Him. Even when I thought there was not hope left for me and my family all I had to do was let go and allow Him to start fixing the brokenness of what had happened. If I had never let go and allowed Him to take control, I honestly do not think we would be where we are today.
As Ryan says in the video, “The human selfishness in all of us says we should hold onto all these things, hold on to all those relationships, and stay in control, because if you let go we’re going to get hurt. We convince ourselves that if we let go of these people we love, then what will happen is they will get hurt and we’ll miss out on the opportunity to share life and love with them. But I think the truth is to really enjoy life to really experience it in all of its joy and complexity; I think you have to let go of it.”