Monday, March 28, 2011

Marriages are Worth Fighting For

Some of you may know that three years ago Jesse and I went through a very tough time in our marriage. I wrote what I could at the time about my first year of healing, but I wasn't even close to ready to dig deep into what God was really doing in me. Since then, God has done even more in our life and marriage than we could have ever expected. Though I always think there will be a need for more healing, we both believe that we have gotten to place in our marriage where we feel confident enough in our marriage and ourselves and more than ready to talk about our oh-so imperfect, hush-hush, too embarrassing to speak of, scandal of a life.

I have always looked at my blog as a place for me to unload and express myself as a “work in progress” (woman, christian, wife, mother, sister, daughter). I write about my struggles, my successes, my faith, my drive, my passions, my children and my family life. But a big part of who I am today is because of the whirl wind of a disaster that hit my family three years ago. Without having gone through that, I don't think I would be the woman I am today. I especially wouldn't be the wife and mother I am today. And we feel that it's time to tell our story.

Jesse and I have a heart for marriages. Not just our own and not just marriages that have been through infidelities, but marriages in general. We are seeing how often we allow our culture to define married life, instead of looking to what God and the Word tells us married life should be. We are seeing families destroyed because of our selfish nature and a desire to feed our flesh. Whether it is being involved in a full blown affair or to just occasionally watching porn. Our culture is not setting a very good example for future generations.

Our story is just one out of the thousands of couples that go through this daily. Did you know that infidelity affects one out of every 2.7 couples? (according to author Janis Spring who wrote After the Affair) That is a ridiculous amount and epidemic in my opinion!!!! That means it is more than likely that you have either gone through an affair or know someone who has. The sad part is there is such a strong taboo that causes people to be too ashamed to talk about their experience that many go through the whole process alone.

Because of the wonderful redeeming love of the Father and His faithfulness to our marriage and for sending His Son to die for all our sins and all the stupid thing we would do in our marriages; all month long Jesse and I will be sharing our story. We believe that without God we would not be together today. Without His mercy and grace we wouldn't have survived this heart breaking journey. Without the Father as an example of what it really means to love someone unconditionally, this marriage would have been doomed from the start.

Because marriage is such a passion for us, for the entire month of April (Starting April 4th) we want to give God glory for our marriage; as well as all other marriages out there, the marriages that are soon to come, marriages that are healthy and thriving, as well as the marriages that have gone through the ringer and come out better than ever. We also want to encourage marriages that are going through tough times right now, because we all do have those tough times... and we want you to not so quickly give up. Fight for your marriage!!! Fight for your history and the love you once had, because love doesn't just go away.

If you would like to be part of this journey and support what Jesse and I are doing, please grab “Our Love Redeeming Journey” button for this series to put on your blog. Even if it's just to pray for us while we do this. I already have a good amount of blog supporters that will be doing this along with us, but we can always have more people out there standing up for marriages! We also want to see what God is doing in your marriages, so blog about that if you feel led.

If you are jumping on board, comment or email me to let me know and I will have a page up soon of all blogs that are joining us. We are excited that God has brought us this far and we believe that God has so much in store, not just for our marriage/relationship, but yours too.  Be prepared for some brutal honesty and unnerving realities and the ultimate REDEEMING LOVE of God!

50 comments:

Sarah Hannon said...

I'm really looking forward to hearing (reading) this story. I love a happy ending :)
I'll join :)

Melissa G. said...

Lyr, i'm so excited that you are doing this!
I will be putting your button on my sidebar.

Rachel said...

I'm definitely on board for this and thank you for doing it! Marriage is SO not easy, and it takes a lot of work. My marriage has been far from perfect, and we went through a really tough time 3 years ago, but now we are better than ever. You really do have to fight for it!

kels said...

this is such a great thing you guys are doing!! i will definitely be praying for you.

Trina said...

I'm so excited about this! God's going to use your triumph in a mighty way!

PaigeR530 said...

I'm so glad you are doing this and not going to sugar coat it. It is going to be so important for others to see!

Pamela said...

It thrills me to see young couples fight for their marriages. I've been married 36 years. Marriage IS worth fighting for. I've signed up to follow you through this journey.

Blessings on your marriage and your sweet 3-year-old!
Pamela

Lauren said...

I just know that God is going to use your story in an incredible way! I think it's so great that you're willing to open up and share your trials with others!

very married said...

i totally support you in this - and thanks for speaking out. too many people suffer alone and in silence.

Megan said...

I cannot wait to be a part of this! I am having trouble grabbing the button though!

Meredith said...

I love that you're doing this. Marriage IS worth fighting for, and I think you have an incredible story to tell!

Katie~Loves Of Life said...

Excited to read about all God is doing (even though I can see it, too!)--will be praying!

Hi, I'm Susan! said...

so well written my love! can't wait to hear more of your heart as you share your story. so proud of you! God is going to use you mightily!!!!

Kate said...

Thank you so much for sharing your heart! I am a counselor and I see way too many couples come in and think there is no hope left, and it just breaks my heart! Thank you for fighting for your marriage and all the other marriages out there! Grabbed your button!!

Danielle said...

So happy to read this! I'll definitely be joining!

Melanie @ Smiley Melly said...

I am thoroughly looking forward to this series! I am just taking a quick break at work right now, so I will grab the button tonight. I just wanted to say that this series is in my heart and prayers already. I love your honesty and devotion to fulfilling God's plan.

Jax said...

So proud of you. So inspired by you. So in awe of your ability to be so honest and transparent for the good of your marriage and for that of other couples. Even though I'm not married (yet), I've seen a lot...being 30 and single. Some of my friends have already gone through some serious marital issues. Some have come out on the other side stronger than before. While others have moved separate ways. But, their journeys have taught ME so much about faith and love and God and strength and what it means to really FIGHT for a marriage. I feel like I will be a better wife someday b/c of the things they've taught me...

I'm rambling, but just wanted to say I've got your back, girl. I think this is a great, great idea. Thanks for being you. :)

Melissa said...

I really do feel that your testimony will be exactly what someone needs to hear. I'm honored to follow you throughout this! And, I cannot wait to read more of what God has done in your lives!

LeAnna said...

Yes, this is so inspiring! Can't wait to read, and I'm so looking forward to being part of this, too!

Stephanie the PW said...

WOW! So wonderful - this is just amazing. I definitely want to be a part :) I'll be sticking your button on my blog "links" page.

Marriage is so special and I've been so blessed to have such a great husband, but it definitely does take a lot of patience and understanding. And love, of course. Good luck to you, sweetie!

Rebecca Jo said...

So proud of you all for sharing your story... we as Christians "hide" so much of our lives... & then find out that you know what, we're all screw ups? Why dont we all just admit that to each other? :)

Thank you for your honesty... I'll be going through April with you!

Anonymous said...

My husband and I have gone through this and I can't wait to read your story. We have been married for 14 years. It's been about 4 or 5 years for us(can't remember the exact year it happened because I honestly tried to block it out) and God is still healing us, but we are closer than we have ever been.

Carol {Everyday Delights} said...

I admire you so much and I know a lot of other people who read this feel the same way. I heard a good quote the other day "the more you invest in your marriage the more priceless it becomes" and I am trying to live by that everyday.

MommyBozant said...

I would LOVE to be on board for this but I am new to the blog world and don't know how! HELP!

Danielle said...

Lyryn,
Just wanted to let you know that I've linked to this post! I'm very excited to hear your story and how God has changed your marriage. Thank you for sharing!

Danielle

http://sweetmay2007.blogspot.com/2011/03/redeeming-love.html

Brittany Ann said...

This is so awesome! I am so, so amazed and impressed with your honesty and passion!

Jami Jones said...

I'm so glad I found your blog! Marriages are worth fighting for, and I thinks your so awesome for sharing your story and reaching out to others!

Tiffany said...

I just went back and read what you shared of your story in the past. I love that you are willing to share that with others and inspire them. I am not married, but seeing the things you are willing to say and the honesty you have in telling/helping others gives me hope for the future. You are amazing and so strong for being able to do this.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Jessica said...

Wow! Love this idea. I'm jumping in and will be following. I'm getting married this September... this will be good!

CAN'T WAIT!

Laura said...

Hi - new follower! :) I think it's great you're doing this, and I look forward to reading.

ashleymbeasley said...

I heard about you through Jessica, Stilettos and a fishing pole! I think your blog is going to be a blessing to many people. What an amazing way to share your testimony!

Kate said...

YES. I am in. I need this.Our marriage is struggling and we're fighting for it! Thank you!

Hailey said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! :) I'm so glad you did, because I love yours! I've seen other blogs where the author will talk about how God saved their marriage, but never what from and how. And while it's their personal story and definitely their decision whether to share or not, I do believe so many people will benefit from reading your struggle and watching how the Lord moved and redeemed your marriage. So exciting!! Can't wait to hear it. :)

Ashley @ KiwisandCocktails said...

I think its great you are writing about this.

Lindsi said...

Just found your blog! :) I'm jumping on board with y'all. Thanks for being so passionate about marriage, it's very near and dear to my heart!

Anonymous said...

I am looking forward to reading your story. We are over 7 yrs out, and are always looking for way to continue to heal, love and trust. We won't give up and I am glad you are fighting hard. May God continue to show you both the path of love and bless your life.

sweetcanadian said...

new follower, jumping on board :)

The Patrick's said...

We will definitely be joining! We have only been married for 8 months and have endured a few things that most newlyweds wouldn't even dream of.

Alicia said...

Hi Lyr!! I'm so excited about this! I just posted on my blog!!!!! :)

Jessie said...

Hi! I just found your blog though Jessica @ Stilettos & a fishing pole! I would love to join! Thanks so much for being willing to do this!

Amy Silver said...

I would love to join in! I don't have tons of experience.. 2 1/2 yrs married. But I do love enriching our marriage. Let me know how this works..

Meredith said...

PS- I thought of you and this project today! I'm doing Beth Moore's study of David, and in today's video she talked about how David not only committed adultery with Bethsheeba, but he actually had her spouse murdered...pretty darn serious stuff, and way more severe than many of us will ever have to deal with. STILL, when David repented and asked for forgiveness, he was absolved. 100% forgiven by God. And God took that terrible circumstance that David created, and made something wonderful out of it :)

Jarod said...

Thank you for being willing to share your story. My wife and I have been through some of the same stuff and while God has brought us a long way, the enemy is still attacking ... as he always will. Just this first post (and your post from 1 year out) has been an encouragement to my heart already. I can't wait to follow and read and praise God with you through the coming month!

Katie A. said...

So glad to know that there is someone else out there who has been through an affair (gasp, I said the forbidden word) and is willing to let God use it for His glory by sharing their story. I wish I'd found more people like this when my husband and I were struggling with our infidelity, which is probably what has given me the strength to blog a little about ours in hopes that God will use it to help someone else out there. Look forward to seeing what all you have to say over the next month!

Erin said...

I am on board.. and I can not wait to read and learn from you!

Chicago Mom (Heather) said...

Can't wait. You are so brave to share your story!

Erin said...

God is good! You never think something like this could happen to you - but SIN affects 100% of the world's population! Looking forward to hearing what the Lord has taught you about forgiveness and reconciliation...

Our Baby "D" said...

Thank you! I am hopping over from Katie's blog (your SIL) and will be following along.

Christina said...

I love your honesty! I am looking forward to hearing (reading) your story. Prayers for you and your family!

Mrs. C @ Tosots said...

I'm so happy to have stumbled upon your blog today. This post puts a lot into perspective on stessful days. =) Thanks!

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